You Might Think It's Silly, But I Believe in Soulmates

by Katie Cloyd
Originally Published: 
Emilija Manevska/Getty

I kind of believe in soulmates.

When I was a young girl thinking about my future, my idea of a fairytale was to meet my husband when I was young, fall in lasting love, and end up loving just one man for my entire life. My family was very religious, and I believed that God himself had put a man on earth just for me. My soulmate. It was His plan and my destiny to find that one man and spend our lives together. Back then, I believed God would make sure our paths crossed at just the right time.

As luck would have it, I ended up meeting my husband when I was only eighteen years old. It was everything I dreamed it would be. We fell in love fast, and then that love just kept growing. I was convinced I had found the one God created for me. My soulmate. He was the person whose soul was created to love my soul. My soulmate was my romantic destiny, part of a Divine plan.

It’s been seventeen years now, and we aren’t as religious as we once were. Both of us maintain a belief in God, but we have moved away from a lot of the teachings of the Church. We see almost everything differently than we once did.

If I’m being honest, I no longer truly believe that God created my husband and me with the express plan that we would marry one another. I don’t think we absolutely had to choose one another to fulfill the Creator’s predetermined plan for our lives. I know there were a lot of good paths we could have chosen. This is just one of many choices that could have made us feel happy and fulfilled.

My mind knows all of that.

But my heart can’t quite catch up. My husband has loved me so well for so long and it keeps me wondering if maybe some souls were destined to be together after all.

No matter how far removed I feel from most of the religion I grew up with, I just want to hold onto this one little piece. The idea that people are actually created just to find one another makes me smile. It feels so much like we were.

Maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic, but I just can’t quite give up the idea of soulmates, when it comes to love, friendship, and even family.

If you know, you know.

When you find a person that just feels so much like your missing piece, it feels ridiculous to give all the credit to pure chance or your own good judgment.

Sure, your rational mind knows that a happy relationship takes commitment, chemistry and work. But there’s something so beautiful about the idea that on some spiritual, intangible level, you’re two halves of a whole.

Who wouldn’t want to think they’ve already lived a thousand lives with the person who makes their heart sing?

I just want true love to be written in the stars, like a grand fairy tale that the universe couldn’t help but tell.

I’m not alone in this. Why do you think the concept of a soulmate or a love ordained by a higher power even exists? People have been feeling this intensity of connection since time began, finding words to describe it that span all kinds of religions, philosophies, and schools of thought.

Sometimes two people make such intense, lasting bonds that it just feels like there’s something deeper drawing you together.

It doesn’t have to be romantic. I had a best friend for five years who felt like home to me. The only way to describe it is that we were kindred spirits. I felt like we were made out of the same stuff. She felt familiar to me from the beginning. When we had a falling out and couldn’t resolve it, I suffered. Deeply. It’s been almost two years. Not one day goes by when I don’t think about her at least a little bit.

I have a lot of wonderful friends, but it’s rare to find a friendship that feels that effortless. That’s why I feel like maybe some relationships are just “meant to be,” predetermined by something bigger than we are, even if they eventually have to come to an end.

I have three children, and each of them has little parts of me that shine through once in a while. In those moments, I can’t help but wonder if a little piece of my soul is sewn into theirs, like we share the fabrics of our very beings. Sometimes, I see bits and pieces of my parents in me and wonder the very same thing.

And of course, there’s my husband, the soul whose existence makes me want to hang onto the idea of soulmates to begin with.

I know deep down that believing in soulmates and destiny and kindred spirits is probably my own personal version of believing in Santa Claus.

But I’m sticking to it. I’d rather be a little too fanciful and romantic about love and connection than lose all sense of wonder. Even if you think the idea of a predestined soulmate is utterly silly, you can still join me in choosing to be very grateful for any kind of love that makes you feel seen, understood and safe.

Love like that is worth looking a little silly.

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