So, Your Kid Doesn’t Like Sports?

So, your kid doesn’t want to play sports, eh? Well, I’m here to give you a piece of advice:

Not all kids want to play sports.

Let’s face it. You may not have a place on the bleachers next to your friends, wearing replicas of your kid’s team jersey. You may not meet up for end-of-season pizza parties or build a shelf in their room to hold all of their trophies. You may not use words like “fall ball,” or “machine pitch,” or “tourney.” You won’t be posting pictures on Facebook of your kiddo’s greatest action shots from the weekend’s soccer game, so that all of your friends and family can see what an awesome player your kid has become.

That’s OK. Relax.

Sure, there are a million reasons that sports are great for kids. They teach hard work, commitment, following rules, sportsmanship, not to mention the benefits of physical activity. Friendships are built, fun is had, and memories are made that will last a lifetime.

But, behold! There are benefits to your kid not playing sports!

For example, these little sporting ventures can get super expensive, and as they get older, it seems to become even more so. Holy shit! I have to wonder sometimes how people can afford it, especially when their little athletes play multiple sports. Buying all the gear (some of which they outgrow quickly) and traveling for tournaments, I mean wowza! I’d do anything for my children, but to pull off the financial piece of the sporting scene, I’d either have to invest in some 9-inch heels and a pole or win the damn lottery. So, put your pocketbook away and save that money for something else, like a family vacation.

Also, there’s a time factor. It takes a lot of time to go to practices and games. Have more than one kid? Have three or four? See how real that shit just got? You better have a strong bladder and require very little free time. Look, if the kids love it, then great for them and their parents for their commitment. They rock! But guess what sugar tits? If your kid doesn’t want to play sports, be glad your ass isn’t stuck to the bleachers in the sweltering heat every damn weekend in the summer or frozen solid and wrapped in a flannel blanket on those chilly fall days with your nipples about to fall off from frostbite.

Plus, you won’t have to deal with the prick-ass overly competitive parents who swear that their kid is going to make MVP in the next World Series. Now I must admit, I have lots of friends and family whose kids play sports and they love it and it’s fun and everyone’s chill and no one gets scrappy. BUT!!! Out there in the sporting world, it’s likely you would come across at least one JUMBO-Sized-Douche-Dad who is living his failed dream through his child. He’s the one who wears really tight shirts and is way too hard on his kid. He’s the same one who can’t seem to realize, that it’s just a game! He’s also the same guy you may want to shut-up with some duct tape and a knee to his teensy weensy peensy, but that is neither here nor there. You won’t have to deal with those types of pricks, because your kid doesn’t play sports!

So there’s that.

Ultimately, your kid is going to be just fine. Don’t feel pressure to push them into it. They will find their thing. Maybe they’ll love music, camping, dancing, art, or maybe, they are just into lots of different things. My kids tried a few sports, but they weren’t passionate about any of them. So now, I have one kid who plays guitar, one who wants to be a comedian, and one little one who just likes to break shit. They don’t play baseball or basketball, but they are still my MVPs.

So if you’re one of the moms like me who doesn’t spend her weekends on the ball field and your kid doesn’t have a wall of trophies, just calm your ass down. Your kiddo is just too busy right now finding out who they are and what they are into. If they haven’t found their thing right here in this moment, they have plenty of time to just be kids. Friendships will still be built, fun will be had, and memories will be made that will last a lifetime.

Score!