Do you love tennis jokes and puns? You’ll make a racket laughing at these hilarious funnies! While you may not be the next Rafael Nadal or Serena Williams, tell a few of these on the court and your humor will be absolutely unmatched at the club. Hell, you may even net yourself a new doubles partner. Here are over 55 of the absolute best and funniest tennis jokes ever guaranteed to leave you rolling.
1. Which tennis tournament never closes?
The U.S. OPEN.
2. What do you call a girl standing in the middle of a tennis court?
3. Why are fish never good tennis players?
They don’t like getting close to the net.
4. How many tennis players does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they all say, “What do you mean it was out, it was in!”
5. Why was the tennis court so loud?
Because all the players raised a racket.
6. What did one tennis ball say to the other tennis ball?
“See you round..”
7. Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.
8. Where did the tennis players go on their date?
The tennis ball.
9. Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player?
To them, “Love” means nothing.
10. Where do ghosts play tennis?
On a tennis corpse!
11.What did the tennis player say before playing with vanilla ice cream?
“I’d like a soft serve, please!”
12. What do you serve but not eat?
A tennis ball.
13. Why is tennis a noisy game?
Because each player raises a racket.
14. Why are spiders great tennis players?
Cause they have great topspin.
15. Why did the tennis player charge the net?
She ran out of cash.
16. What do you call a competitive tennis player who just broke up with his girlfriend?
17. Why was the tennis club’s website down?
They had problems with their server.
18. Why do tennis matches take hours to complete?
It’s because the lines are long.
19. What do a dentist and a tennis coach have in common?
They both use drills!
20. A middle management executive has to take on some sport, by his doctor’s orders, so he decides to play tennis. After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he’s doing. “It’s going fine, ” the manager says. “When I’m on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me, my brain immediately says, ‘To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!'” “Really? What happens then?” the secretary asks. “Then my body says, ‘Who? Me? You must be kidding!”
21. Tennis is a lot like waiting tables. The most important thing to get right is the first serve.
22. What is the most depressing thing about tennis?
You’ll never be as good as a wall.
23. I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
24. What did the tennis ball say when it got hit?
Who’s making all the racquet?
25. What was Serena Williams’ favorite number?
Tenn-is her favorite number.
26. What time does Andy Murray got to bed?
27. What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
28. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.
29. John McEnroe gave me his broken tennis racket, no strings attached.
30. Why was the tennis player fed up with all the condescending comments about his performance?
He was tired of all the backhanded insults.
31. When does a British tennis match end?
When it’s Wimble-DONE
32. Why do tennis players have low self esteem?
Because they have so many faults.
33. Why did they call that player the Love Master?
Because he sucks at tennis.
34. Which state has the most tennis players?
35 Why do elephants wear green tennis shoes?
To hide in the tall, tall grass.
36. What comes before tennis?
37. Why is it not good to play tennis in a court?
Because you might get arrested
38. An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
39. Why is it good to stand on the service line?
Because you can order ice cream
40. Tennis Tip of the Day: If you walk into a bar dressed as a tennis ball, you’ll be served right away.
41. Why did the Labrador Retriever advise his master to invest in tennis balls?
‘Cause they have such a high rate of return!
42. What was the celebrity tennis player’s favorite city?
43. Why were Martina Navratilova’s neighbors angry?
Because she made a big racquet.
44. Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
So he wouldn’t get his tennis shoes wet.
45. So did you hear about the tennis ball and the battery that got into a fight?
The battery was charged and the tennis ball is waiting to go to court.
46. What happened when the tennis player’s serve hit the tape?
At least, they’ll let him hit it again.
47. Why do tennis players like vending machines?
‘Cause they don’t have to wait to be served.
48. How do you play quiet tennis?
Just like regular tennis but without the racket.
49. At what sport to waiters do really well?
Tennis, because they’re such great servers.
50. How many sports magazines to you have to buy to get free athletic footwear?
Ten Issues. OUCH!
51. What’s the difference between a waiter and a tennis scorekeeper?
One sets the tables, and the other tables the sets.
52. Why don’t they change the scoring system in tennis?
‘Cause the game of tennis is set in its ways and does not see that point.
53. What happened when the guy pushed the service button at the reception desk?
He got smacked in the head by a tennis ball.
54. How does a tennis publicity master impress the crowd?
He hits overheads, ’cause then every point will be a smash hit.
55. Why do the ladies call the pro The Love Machine?
Because he’s terrible at tennis.
56. While you’re sitting on the toilet you see written on the stall door: Congratulations! You’ve won one a free game of Toilet Tennis! Look Left. You look left and it reads: Look Right You look right and it reads: Look Left…
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