T.I. says he tags along to the gyno with his daughter to grill the doctor about whether her hymen is still intact
Be warned that the following story will either make your skin crawl for the rest of the day or send you into a rage where you practically tear your curtains off the wall — or both simultaneously. Rapper T.I. was interviewed on a podcast recently where he shared the insanely disturbing fact that he’s accompanied his 18-year-old daughter to the gynecologist for years. Not to be a supportive and loving parent who ensures that their child is getting proper reproductive healthcare, but to sit in on the whole thing and make sure that her hymen is still intact.
Yup. He really said it.
If your head just practically exploded, you’re not alone. The internet is stunned and horrified by T.I.’s casual admission that he not only attends his daughter’s yearly gyno checkups, but insists the doctor share all the intensely private details of her exam with him. In an interview with Nazanin Mandi and Nadia Moham on the podcast Ladies Like Us, he drops the positively alarming news. “Not only have we had the conversation. We have yearly trips to the gynecologist to check her hymen,” he said. “Yes, I go with her.”
The convo had turned to his parenting style and that’s when T.I. told the hosts that after now 18-year-old daughter Deyjah Harris’ 16th birthday, he “put a sticky note on the door: ‘Gyno. Tomorrow. 9:30.'”
We told you your head would explode.
“So we’ll go and sit down and the doctor comes and talks, and the doctor’s maintaining a high level of professionalism,” T.I. says. “He’s like, ‘You know, sir, I have to, in order to share information’ — I’m like, ‘Deyjah, they want you to sign this so we can share information. Is there anything you would not want me to know? See, Doc? Ain’t no problem.'”
Oh, but there is a problem. Many extremely huge problems, but more on that in a minute.
It’s tough to pinpoint the most messed up part of this interview but it might be this nauseating quote about how he’s aware of the other ways a woman’s hymen can break: “And so then they come and say, ‘Well, I just want you to know that there are other ways besides sex that the hymen can be broken like bike riding, athletics, horseback riding, and just other forms of athletic physical activity,'” he said. “So I say, ‘Look, Doc, she don’t ride no horses, she don’t ride no bike, she don’t play no sports. Just check the hymen, please, and give me back my results expeditiously.'”
“I will say, as of her 18th birthday, her hymen is still intact,” he says.
Holy. Hell. There are simply no words. I mean, there are plenty of words but none can really capture what any decent human being will feel after hearing that. I feel violated on her behalf and that’s not hyperbole. The state of this young woman’s hymen is none of her father’s damn business or anyone’s aside from her and her doctor. And speaking of doctor, hers needs to be fired immediately and reported to the board because in no world should it be ok to share that information with another party, especially when it’s crystal clear that Harris is being coerced and pressured by her dad to allow it.
People are rightly horrified by his comments for a number of very valid reasons.
It’s just beyond bizarre and completely gross that he’s this invested in his daughter’s virginity.
As NARAL points out, “virginity is not a medical status.” It’s not — hymens, as T.I. himself seems to grasp, can break for all kinds of reasons but honestly, forget any of that, it is irrelevant here. The lede is the fact that this man 1) is grilling his daughter about her virginity 2) and accompanying her to the doctor to make sure it’s still there. What on earth is even happening here?
There’s also the fact that the idea of “purity” as it relates to a woman and her sex life is outdated, dangerous, misogynistic, abusive, and completely disgusting. What happens during the appointment where Harris’ terrible doctor finally discloses that she’s possibly had sex? Because once again, the hymen breaking means absolutely nothing in this regard.
Then, there’s this. Whether or not his daughter allows this very sick yearly ritual to happen is beside the point — he should never be discussing this profoundly private matter in public. Or at all.
Aside from the jaw-dropping invasion of her privacy by making a yearly “virginity check” a thing, he is teaching his daughter that the only value she has is as a sexual being. Like, what happens when she’s no longer a virgin? Is she somehow less valuable to him? It’s also teaching her that a man’s approval of her sex life is not only necessary, but must conform to what the man wants, like she’s nothing more than property. It’s sick beyond words.
In case you weren’t already completely nauseous and ready to burn everything to the ground, he had this to say when the hosts suggest that by publicly noting his teen daughter is a virgin, he might be igniting more male interest in her: “They’re no, fun, who wants a virgin?” he replied. “Like, really. All of that work?”
There are no words. This man is cancelled forever.
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