The Top 10 Post-Pregnancy Bodily Surprises

As many people know, the pregnant body goes through many strange and mysterious changes — “WHERE DID THAT NIPPLE HAIR COME FROM?” — yet the post-pregnancy body is rarely discussed, except in the requisite Us Weekly and Life & Style covers featuring an airbrushed celebrity mom in a bikini, hand on hip: “HOW I GOT MY BODY BACK!”

Well, let me tell you, some strange and mysterious changes strike the body after giving birth, as well. And I think everyone should know it…

10. If you are breastfeeding, your vagina will likely have something in common with the Sahara Desert. And, no, I am not talking about Dung Beetles taking up residence down there. Not usually, at least.

9. That dark line running down your stomach will go away, but may decide to hang out for a few months after pregnancy. On the bright side, vertical stripes are slimming!

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8. Postnatal bleeding can last for weeks — like six to eight, even — and tampons are a no-no, so don’t throw on those white jeans just yet.

7. Sex after childbirth can be freakin’ painful — for up to a year. Took me nine months to enjoy it again after my first baby. True story. So either ease back into it slowly or, as your husband may prefer, practice your fake O-face in the mirror to make it convincing.

6. Post-pregnancy urinary tract infections are common. Thanks, urinary catheter!

5. Speaking of urine… in the hospital, a nurse will have to accompany you to the bathroom just to assist with the peeing process. Check your pride and humility at the bathroom door.

4. That luscious hair you grew during pregnancy? Yeah, it falls out, leaving you with unruly wisps around the face. HOT.

3. Your feet may grow. Permanently. Which is awesome when you already wore GARGANTUAN SIZE 9 SHOES. *Ahem* Not that I know anything about that.

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2. After my first baby, I did not know that my breasts would spontaneously spring a leak — sometimes a very BIG leak — just from talking or thinking about my baby. Which led to a very awkward encounter with my male Starbucks barista while chatting about our kids.

1. The power of post-pregnancy hormones are severely underestimated. Hormonal levels drop precipitously the minute your baby is born and the placenta is expelled (YUM!), because the placenta was the hormone production factory in the body. True story. So not only can this cause extreme mood swings and depression, but it can also make you think that SUDDENLY DYING YOUR HAIR CLOWN RED IS A GOOD IDEA. *Ahem* Again, not that I would know anything about that. Or cried for four days straight after doing so. But all I can tell you after finally restoring my hair to its pre-baby color is: BY GOD, DO NOT LET THIS HAIR TRAGEDY STRIKE YOU!

Related post: 4 Truths About Our Post-Baby Bodies

About the writer

Candy Kirby is a family columnist and professional funmaker on The Laughing Stork, where she writes about provocative parenting issues such as the physics of gravity-defying baby poop and how to effectively humiliate your pet in the family portrait.

From Around the Web


Melissa Morgan Adams 6 months ago

Number 3 isn’t BS. My feet grew!

Yonni Martin 6 months ago

Number three HAPPENS! One of my girlfriend’s has 3 babies and with each one her feet grew by a half size.

Kristie Jarvis 6 months ago

Number three happened to me! My feet were a size 8 before now a size 9

Janell Kerr 6 months ago

#3 is actually not bullshit! They are all true!

Angela Schoebel 6 months ago

Gotta laugh at the woman complaining about there dignity whilst being accompanied to the toilet, picture several doctors and midwifes standing there staring at your personals whilst your in labour and someone has there whole hand inside you trying to put a little monitor on the baby’s head because the tummy one won’t work….if you can go through that you’ll never be embarresed of anything again lolz

Angela Schoebel 6 months ago

Gotta laugh at the woman complaining about there dignity whilst being accompanied to the toilet, picture several doctors and midwifes standing there staring at your personals whilst your in labour and someone has there whole hand inside you trying to put a little monitor on the baby’s head because the tummy one won’t work….if you can go through that you’ll never be embarresed of anything again lolz

Angela Schoebel 6 months ago

I went from a size 8 1/2 shoe to 9 throughout pregnancy and am still the same 5 years later :(

Gloria Hutton 6 months ago

My feet actually got smaller after all of my kids. Sadly, my boobs shrunk too and everything I lost between my feet and boobs went to my hips. Ugh

Lahis Garcia 6 months ago

Jumped from shoes size 8 to 8.5 after first pregnancy and to size 9 after second.

Leonore Engelbrecht 6 months ago

C-section moms..that flat tire tummy skin thats now for ever hanging over your panty. I try to push it back with a tight belt but then i have a muffin top. The fact that you will never again see your fanny without a mirror present. Oh the joys!!!

Leonore Engelbrecht 6 months ago

My feet defnitely grew a size with both kids. I was always a nice 6, then a 7 and now an eight! So not a bullshit story. i still have my nr 6’s that i cannot get in or even try to. Probably have to let them go..

Irish Hester 6 months ago

I went up a size in shoes. I was so upset that I had to retire all my favorites.

Alana Hen 6 months ago

Number 3!

Sherry Siedenburg 6 months ago

Ugh my issue??? Stink, yep I said it… STINK!
The freaking serious hormone shift gave my pits the most Godawful smell! Like the not popular teenaged boy with piss-poor hygiene who refuses to take a bath weekly let alone daily, stink…. It took FOREVER to find a deodorant to help!

Karen Siebert Gwinnup 6 months ago

The hair loss. Oh, the hair loss!

Bethany Roberts 6 months ago

Wow-Im amazed at all the changes in shoe size…my feet stayed the same size, at last after all the swelling went down. Dear God I thought my toes were gonna explode the entire last month of my pregnancy. And only one other mommy with hemmoroids!? Those SUCK!!!

Gail Langlois 6 months ago

OMG.. I’m laughing so hard at some of these comments because They are so True! I will never jump on a trampoline

Jenna McKillop 6 months ago

Chin hair, grey hair, skin and scalp problems, red eyes… My vagina looks like it’s tongue is sticking out. The ‘external’ hemorrhoids. And my belly now looks like a Bulldogs jowls… What else?

Tracy Rockweit 6 months ago

Nope actually none of these happened to me :)

Sue Parker 6 months ago

Number 3 is a blessing. Remember that.

Jennifer Kukla 6 months ago

Reading the comments form others moms…about peed my pants lol

Sarita MacDonald 6 months ago

Yep said goodbye to all my shoes :(

Maeve Rhuad 6 months ago

Yeah number 4 really freaked me out. I was starting to worry I was going bald.

Kourtney Stump Cohen 6 months ago

Went from 8.5 to a size 9. Sooooo flipping weird. Also during pregnancy my red hair started growing dark brown.

Chellsea Hernandez 6 months ago

I bled for 3.5 months. Now that sucked

Linsey Clemmer 6 months ago

#3 is bs. Before kids, I wore a size 7.5, now 3 kids later, I wear a size 9…and I’m only 5’4″

Cortni Davidson 6 months ago

THANKFULLY I only wore a size 5 shoe up until my 3rd I wear a 6..

Karla Nicole Galla 6 months ago

These comments are cracking me up!

Nicole Lynn 6 months ago

Agreed, # 3 = total BS

JamesAnd Beverly Goebel 6 months ago

This actually happened to people? I’ve had two kids and my feet didn’t change at all, only time was swelling at the end of my pregnancy but that’s it, it was gone right after birth.

Michelle Pratt 6 months ago

I can’t believe this is telling women to fake their orgasms with their husband. You should never have to fake it especially after everything you’ve been through having a baby. Your husband/partner should be understanding of the changes your body is going through and be patient and take it slow. It’s the least he can do!

Erica Barnes 6 months ago

Me too I went from and 8.5 now I’m a 7.5!!

Wendy Anderson 6 months ago

Yup, i went from a size 4 to a size 5 after my first child they didn’t grow again with my second child though thank goodness.

Regan Love-Campbell 6 months ago

Wow – this photo is everything. Dying laughing! So true!!!

Regan Love-Campbell 6 months ago

They forgot the one about how your stomach will basically look like a cottage cheese butt unless you get some sort of plastic surgery. #causeweallcanaffordthat

Britta Costello 6 months ago

I leaked all over the checkout desk at the library. The teen boy was horrified and was absolutely staring off, going to a happy place as I tried sopping up the mess with the dry part of my shirt. Lol. Good times.

Jilly Murray 6 months ago

Number 3 is not bullshit….my feet went up 2 sizes!! WTF?

Rachel Leniski Dubree 6 months ago

#11 having breasts that strongly resemble fried eggs nailed to a tree.

April Robinson 6 months ago

My dark line never fully faded after my second child…..he’s almost 2!!

Amanda Burke 6 months ago

Anyone else loose their boobs?!? :'( wtf!? I had nice boobs & 2 kids later…ugh. i thought they got bigger with babies not smaller!!!

Kristin Glover 6 months ago

I went from a 36 DD to a 38H, and they just stayed there! I thought they were supposed to go down! Plus they are reaching for my bellybutton like a person in the desert reaches for water!


Kristin Glover 6 months ago

I actually have to get my hemorrhoids surgically removed because of how bad they are. I had my son 3 years ago and they have only gotten worse over time. It sucks!

Maureen McCarthy Labriola 6 months ago

My feet went up a size

Suzanne Jones Johnson 6 months ago

Number 3=TRUTH… After 3 kids- my feet are 1.5 sizes bigger

Elena Millard-Zavala 6 months ago

After all you go through, like creating life and all… I think the least they could do is offer a free tummy tuck with delivery

Marci Nunn Lee 6 months ago

My feet grew with both pregnancies! Ugh!!

Too Happy ToStress 6 months ago

All is true.

Nicole Smith 6 months ago

number 3 is apsolutley not bullshit. I was a size 6 shoe before kids, no after my two I am now a 8 1/2 yup my feet grew 2 1/2 shoe sizes since becoming a mom!

Jennifer Reilly 6 months ago

Number 3 IS bullshit!

Alison Gibson-Maiola 6 months ago

So worth it! You have to laugh about post pregnancy stuff! The more you know about what happens after the less shocked you are when a 60 year old nurse is escorting YOU to the bathroom lol

Dana Rayne Forester 6 months ago

10.5 here too, buying 11’s. Oh I just love the family jokes about my feet….skii’s and sasquatch. Freaking hysterical….not.

Jenifer Jefferson Vinci 6 months ago

My feet did grow a whole size!

Liz Leon Rodriguez 6 months ago

All of this is true! Except my feet finally went back after a yr. 😉

Jennifer Krauss 6 months ago

Chin hairs! Ugh! I have three I’ve had to pluck regularly since I had a baby.

Kelly Shaffer Lurtz 6 months ago

I actually did have #3 happen. An entire closet of beautiful size 6-7s but I’ve been size 7-8 since pregnancy. I expected my butt to get bigger but this is crazy & no one warned me.

Mary Doyle Troy 6 months ago

I thought I was the only one who now has 10.5 size feet. My feet grew with my 2nd child. Thought I was safe after the first one. HA!!! Surprise!!!

Ashley Marie 6 months ago

I would be happier if basically any number other than three was bullshit. Haha.

Daphney Owen 6 months ago

Oh and taking a shit after having a baby is worse than natural birth in my opinion. And daily!!!! Omg so painful. Thank god it goes away after a couple months.

Angel Hall 6 months ago

Number 3 is not bullshit sadly. Lol

Daphney Owen 6 months ago

And to mention sometimes your belly is bulgier on one side than the other… Like wth did these kids do to my insides??!! Lmao!

Daphney Owen 6 months ago

Hopefully it’ll eventually go back to normal…. Eventually…… … …

Daphney Owen 6 months ago

Mine is stretched out and loose with stretch marks after having a 10 1/2 pounder!!! Kind of reminds me of click when Adam Sandler is laying in the hospital bed flopping his belly around saying it looks like a tongue… :( lol

Valerie M Cody 6 months ago

Do the laser treatments really work?

Christine Amerosa 6 months ago

My moms feet grew permanently

Alicia Adele Borg 6 months ago

I’m just saying After literally being on a bed naked with blood everywhere pushing a human being out of your vagina and bearing all…. Peeing on a toilet in front of s nurse is not a big deal. Most people pee (or worse) while pushing.

Andriette Keyser Bergakker 6 months ago

Sitting with the same issue. The more weight I lose, the more the skin hangs. It is so ugly, I can’t stand looking at myself.

Elizabeth George 6 months ago

So glad someone else mentioned the haemorrhoids! Any time I’ve talked about them, I’ve mostly got uncomfortable glances and coughing, rather than sympathy! Worst surprise of my life: got them a week after my baby was born, on my 30th birthday. Gah. The things no one tells you about having babies..

Nicole Donnelly 6 months ago

No feet growth, no weight problems, no toilet company, can still sneeze, cough, laugh, ride a horse etc without peeing my pants, no vertical lines, sex was fine but my hair, nails, skin and periods totally suck balls since having my baby 19 months ago!

cress 6 months ago

I understand, i thought it must b my uterus shrinking like a slow deflating balloon….and it made a noise!! Nobody else i know gets what im on about n it felt soooo embarrassing, your not the only one but i think we are rare lol x

Emma Dredge 6 months ago

This thread has made me chuckle on a wet and dreary day! I’d say one things it gives us moms is wicked sense of humour x funny ladies xx

Toni Glenn 6 months ago

Or cough, or sneeze…… :)

Toni Glenn 6 months ago

No 1 lol. My feet actually shrunk!

Elizabeth Steele 6 months ago

Mmm…that sounds amazing…so my now gargantuan 9 1/2 will be a 15…ha!

Catherine Palmer 6 months ago

I think it is from the hormone relaxin causing all your joints to be more flexible, and your feet carry all the extra weight so they spread.

Kirsty Sweeting 6 months ago

Haha my feet have gone up a size and yes after my first i dyed my hair purple. This time black red and blonde pmsl. What about bladder control? Or am i the only one that cant go on trampolines or bouncy castles anymore lol

Sarah Viault 6 months ago

You still have boobs? I just have the sad empty skin folds as a reminder of what used to be

Billie Susan Longfellow 6 months ago

The worst for me was my hair. I have thin hair to begin with and 2 months after I had our son it started falling out by the handful. And now, 8 months later, it’s growing back fine, but grey.

Tamsyn Taylor 6 months ago

I had three boys. Yep. Hair where there wasn’t hair before. I felt like a yeti.

Missy McGinley Foran 6 months ago

It seems like there should be a website for trading shoes among moms :)

Amanda F Summers 6 months ago

I was a tiny 5’7″, 125lbs and a size 4 pre pregnancy (for my first)… I’m now a size 6 and although I am no longer 125lbs, I did weigh 118lbs between baby 1 and baby 2 and I have not yet gotten back into a size 4.

Amanda F Summers 6 months ago

Coughing, sneezing, laughing, heaven forbid I have to effing puke… with my 3rd, I once peed so much while puking that I actually thought my water had broken!

David Dunsocmb 6 months ago

Surprise # 1: you have a human growing inside you.

Mama Body Love 6 months ago

#1 for sure! But also so many more- your hips and ribcage will stay spread for a while, but most likely will go back to normal. You may weigh the same, but everything seems to shift around and become a different shape. And, your body is amazing! It grew and birthed a human being, which is nothing short of miraculous.

Lindiwe Philladelphia 6 months ago

my tummy looks like a flat tyre.

Stormee Gabriel 6 months ago

Omg it was the worst, crying in the bathroom for like an hour. It didn’t help that the doctors didn’t give me stool softeners while in the hospital. I had a c section both times. The second wasn’t as bad because the doctors made sure I took softeners lol. But I was still dreading it lol

Kimberly Wade Johnson 6 months ago

Yes!!!! DVR and a bottle of wine and I could die happy!

Kimberly Wade Johnson 6 months ago

I had a c-section and I pee when I sneeze or laugh- wtf?!?!

Andriette Keyser Bergakker 6 months ago

Can anyone explain why your feet gets bigger?

Michelle Viramontes 6 months ago

Number 3 Not Bullshit at all!

Renay Smith 6 months ago

What about gas?! My kids gave me gas. All the time. Forever. The silent but deadly kind. No need to worry about sex with that problem now anyway.

Marcia Blacklock 6 months ago

I stopped bleeding and got into clean and nest mode (late for some reason after my son was born) and I started bleeding all over again. This happened twice. My house was a disaster but the Dr told me to take it very easy! I sat in clutter for weeks lol. Funny, not funny.

Marcia Blacklock 6 months ago

Yeah my feet grew a half size and my right foot got wider. Yay for two different size feet! My hair fell out BAD. All the wisps growing back are terrible. I got really bad dry skin on my face too. I feel so ugly these days.

Andriette Keyser Bergakker 6 months ago

My feet went from an 8 a to a 9. I can’t find shoes

Lerato Mokgopa 6 months ago

More than 8 months later, I look at the boots I had collected before pregnancy and I want to cry because they do not fit anymore. I’m short, but my feet are incredibly long!

Candice Pixistik Smith 6 months ago

#3 is bull shit. Now I have to wear a 10 in women and I’m only 5″5. I got flippers going on!

Tiffany Creighton 6 months ago

I went from a 9.5 to an 11!

Malissia Stanton 6 months ago

Honestly your nurse has just seen you spit out a baby, blood, mucous & possibly poop. Her listening to the sound of you tinkle & wince should not bother you one but.

Michelle Walker 6 months ago

Christ on a stick. Most awesome thing ever!

Heather Carter Inacio 6 months ago

Prednisone or other steroid ingestion can cause unwanted hair growth. Also prescribed for staff infections and such

Emily Graven 6 months ago

After breastfeeding 2 for a year each, I could roll up my boobs starting at my knees and have a 40F. I wore a bra the whole time I breastfed so I didn’t soak everything around me.

Emily Graven 6 months ago

Some women, i.e. me, held water under my belly while pregnant. No amount of oil stopped stretch marks. Only a tummy tuck could fix the Dunlap black stretch mark mess of a 9lb 4oz full breach. Even after, still had stretch marks and a new butt not Kardashian butt just wide.

Gina Saxon 6 months ago

#3 is completely true. Before Mt first child I wore a 8 and a half. After my twins I wore a 9 and a half and then after my last baby I’m in an 11. Might not happen to everyone but it does happen.

Nancy Morrison 6 months ago

For my first baby I just went along with my breast getting bigger kinda enjoyed it then pop and fizzle….my next baby my ObGyn said say in your same size bra don’t go up any sizes that helps keep them firm. I was like ummm you could have told me that a year ago!

Dawn Gee- Wessel 6 months ago

Oh the dainty size 7 narrow… Alas, it is no more! I was in the Navy, wearing combat boots, walking on concrete floors. I now wear a size 8 medium. No longer the sweet delicate feet I had… Perhaps it was the 10 pound creature I carried for 10 months?

Michele Gerard Smith 6 months ago

They are all true

Kim McCammon Pritchett 6 months ago

Yup. Went up a full size which sucked because I was already a 10.

Kristyn Nicole 6 months ago

can someone please tell me how the hell to get rid of the c-section fat shelf?! do they ever go away? ugh i refuse to even let my boyfriend see my stomach ever and i’m one year postpartum

Tina Roberts 6 months ago

My shoe size went up…4 kids = 2.5 sizes

Theresa Litzinger 6 months ago


Marian Hamilton 6 months ago

Hemorrhoids!! My god, the hemorrhoids!!!

Le Flaneur 6 months ago

Lol. It sucks. I’ve still got all my old shoes. Maybe one day my foot will shrink…

Cynthia 6 months ago

I was too but di about an hour after I have birth, and maybe the fact I still was higher than Snoop Dogg on Willie Nelson’s tour bus but that felt so good I let out a non human groan that had the nurse at my bathroom door. After 4 months of constipation I was happy

Michelle Nguyen 6 months ago

I was fortunate to have a great pregnancy, great birth(even though I was induced). Doc sewed me up and you wouldn’t even know I had stitches after, and sex is still great. Not everyone gets all of the problems and some of them aren’t bad. Kids are totally worth it, for example you might feel bad about your stomach not being as cute but then you see that little face and she loves every inch of you. It will amaze you what your body can do and that YOU made this perfect little human. Makes it all better☺️

Michelle Nguyen 6 months ago

Me too but now I hate heels, same size but can’t handle the same amount of stress…and spider veins on my feet?!? Among other places…redic.

Jennifer 6 months ago

It practically is like giving birth again. *shudder*

Jodi Lynn Neil 6 months ago

And my first baby out of 3 was 11 pounds 7 ounces! Ouch. But wouldn’t change a thing.

Ayanna Johnson 6 months ago

Even after the terrible pregnancy, 22 stitches from child birth and all the stretch marks I lay in bed and stare at my baby this little life I’ve created and I’d do again in a heart beat.

Amber 6 months ago

I just found out that my little darling may have caused a hernia where my belly button popped out and since I’m planning on more kids not to bother getting it fixed yet….yay I hope that once I lose the belly fat it turns out that I’m OK without any surgery in my future!

Destinee Dos Santos 6 months ago

Ummm… How about if you cough while your lady bits are sill recovering… I felt like my vag turned into a friggin’ bagel!!!!

Diana Petit 6 months ago

Hemorrhoids didn’t make the list?

Stephanie Chaney 6 months ago

Number three is not bullshit. I wore a size 8.5 in shoes now I wear a size 9.

Tina Thiele-Blecher 6 months ago

Love it!

Kelly St John 6 months ago

How about painful feet? I’ve had pretty bad bone and joint pain for 10 weeks now postpartum.

Pamela Clinebell-Heathman 6 months ago

You think these are bad???? Just wait for menopause, weight gain, poochy belly, sweating like a pig, complexion changes & not for the good, shall I go on. For me pregnancy was a breeze, I ended up weighing less after 2 kids, good figure & firm boobs, then the friggen MENOPAUSE hit. It sucks big time, no beautiful baby after nine months. And it can last for years.

Virginia IceKream Crouch 6 months ago

3 is bullshit. I can handle all my other parts changing but my damn feet? Dammit!

Beth Williamson Farman 6 months ago

Shoes and your rings don’t fit…got them resized after a year and a year and a half later they went back to normal! Ugg!

Alison Bull 6 months ago

#3 is definately not bullshit, i was a 9.5 shoe size before kids, after having 3 kids i am now a 10-11 shoe size

Stacy Balavender Linder 6 months ago

Oh #3! Do you have any idea how many pairs of beautiful shoes I have that I can not wear anymore!

Amanda Conklin 6 months ago

Half a beard here… I did laser treatments. I thought the hair would stop like the hair on top of my head. Of course not. After the laser treatments, i’d say 90% of it had never come back. Until the next pregnancy I’m sure.

Haley Hardin West 6 months ago

Christ. This is terrifying. Someone tell me it’s worth it, please. Sincerely, pregnant lady.

Nikole Dalton Dupont 6 months ago

#5….even with a home birth….my midwife had to accompany me to the bathroom several times. Very humbling.

Holly Strunk 6 months ago

Number three is not bullshit. My feet grew a half size with each pregnancy.

Jillian Dawn 6 months ago

All true, no one told me any of this! Now I tell pregnant women I know so they’re prepared! Lol

Brandie Keys 6 months ago

My feet grew a whole size! !! No shit.

Ginger Boyll 6 months ago

Ugh the hemorrhoids. Thanks, delivery of my firstborn. I’ll never be the same.

Siouxqie TwoKnuckle 6 months ago

I had both boys… Oh my god, I went from never having to shave my legs, and rarely shaving my pits to having to remove a beard and freaking happy trail. Bullshit, y’all.

Jessica Wholley 6 months ago

Number 3 is not bullshit at all. I went from a 6 1/2 to an 8 permanently.

During pregnancy I was in men’s size 10

Ginger Boyll 6 months ago

Sneezing, coughing, running, jumping, laughing too hard… All of the above.

Hayley Madden 6 months ago

Feet don’t grow… They spread and flatten

Mercedes Victoria Brandt 6 months ago

With the first(girl) it was a little bit of hair now with this one (boy) it’s a full on happy trail!

Reyna Liliana Jimenez-Frizek 6 months ago

Bahaha so true even after 9 months

Krista 6 months ago

Or that peeing when you sneeze doesn’t go away so fast in fact I got worse lol

Caelah Joelle 6 months ago

I have been fortunate with everything except the damn hemorrhoids!!! I never had them before but man oh man I have had to deal with them forever after!!!

Kristi Phillips 6 months ago

Or cough, or laugh too hard. I even have to plan out when I need to throw up cause I have to make sure I can sit on the toilet and grab a bucket first. My kids are almost 7 and 8!! WTF!? Kegels have only helped for tiny coughs and sneezes.

Kristi Phillips 6 months ago

After I had my daughter the nurses forgot to turn off my epidural. They FORGOT!!?? So when I had to use the bathroom and it became very apparent to them that I couldn’t walk, they brought out one of those portable toilets, put it into the center of the room, and 2 nurses and my Husband had to walk me over to it, help me off, and walk me back. I was 19 and was still pretty sure my Husband didn’t even know I went to the bathroom so I feel like that was extra mortifying. You don’t have any pride left after giving birth. :)

Valerie Travers 6 months ago

I still have no hips but my rib cage spread. :(

Valerie Travers 6 months ago

7.5 to a NINE!!!

Mary Theoret Gratton 6 months ago

Sneezing, coughing, getting out of my car, jumping jacks, running and screaming (found out that last one at a haunted trail for Halloween.)

Anice Schervish Chenault 6 months ago

Bought new bras before I was totally done BF. Money down the drain. Thought I’d stay that size… Nope. Stupid flattened out boobs.

Cassie Cheddar 6 months ago

When I fall! Which is pretty often due to the many baby gates I have to vault over…

Marisol Ontiveros 6 months ago

Practice your kegels!

Marisol Ontiveros 6 months ago

The shoes! OH the shoes ):

Tara Enderle 6 months ago

My feet have actually gotten smaller. Don’t know how that one happened. Used to wear size 8, I can fit into a size 7.

Colleen Coan Kearney 6 months ago

1/2 size with each kid!

Andie McVay 6 months ago

Oh man!!

Anice Schervish Chenault 6 months ago

Oh, thank you! My husband now congratulates me when I sneeze without peeing.

Sarah Maxwell 6 months ago

#3….My feet grew a half size after my second…had to go shoe shopping.

Alicia Adele Borg 6 months ago

I can’t believe “a nurse will have to accompany you while you pee after birth” is one. Really? After all that just happened, that’s supposed to be embarrassing or weird for someone? Lol

Chelsea Gibson 6 months ago

My feet totally grew!

Lin Staum 6 months ago

My daughter is almost three and I still leak after I am finished peeing. I stand up and take a few steps and boom, freaking more pee comes out. What the fuck is that?

Brenda Liodakis 6 months ago

Good read for a needed laugh! Sadly the article is 100% accurate

Cammie Lukow 6 months ago

I had 9 months of no period…and started while camping. What the heck?!

Courtney Toti 6 months ago

My daughter is 4 and I still have that line. It never goes away

Cassi Withrow Nesmith 6 months ago

What about queafs? She’s ten and last night’s yoga class was musical.

Danni White 6 months ago

Same with me but both my feet grew 2 sizes

Sarah Mitchell 6 months ago

Got preggo with twins on honeymoon. Love my babes, but feel bad that my husband got like… 4 weeks of a regular me before transforming into the Michelin woman.

Colleen Arney 6 months ago

Actually #3 is not BS!

Laurie Hamilton Cutler 6 months ago

How did the first poop not make this list? Lol

Johannah Bepp 6 months ago

Number 3 happened to me. Ugh! From 6 to 8! But glad to have 2 lil man in my life ❤️

Danae Hayes Morales 6 months ago

Diastasis recti. Clean eating and exercise everyday for the rest of your life if you can’t afford the surgery.

Jennifer Wallace Smith 6 months ago

I also grew a size in shoes! It is true!

Dani 6 months ago

The shoe thing is the worst. I went from an already huge 10 to an 11. You have no idea how hard it is to find cute size 11 shoes. And even better? My feet grew, but i shrank. Going from 6`2″ to barely over 6′ and still gaining a full shoe size? Hello Bozo the Clown!

Katie Buffington 6 months ago

At this point at 38 1/2 weeks, I’ll let him or her come watch me take a dump if it means I get this baby out of me!

Jazmine Lee 6 months ago

Yeap I can’t jump rope anymore

Kris 6 months ago

How about the first poop. I seriously put it off for days and practically OD’D on stool softener bc I tore so bad and had to be cut twice that the thought of pooping scared the bejesus out of me. And the hair thing. Ugh i went bald 4 months after giving birth it was awesome. And the PP acne was super fun too. And lastly the fact that my boobs went from nice to super aweosme to now I’m basically flat chested.

Sandra S Suggs 6 months ago

Man my hair was so nice!! So mad to see that go.

Jessie Aguirre 6 months ago

My feet shrunk a half size in length,they look thin til I step down, then it pads out like an animals paw

Faelyn Wilson 6 months ago

I went from a size 10 shoe to a size 11 AFTER my daughter was born… damn near 6 years later. Grrr.

Jenn McPherson 6 months ago

I have become accustomed to flexing my kegels and crossing my legs tightly each time I sneeze.
True Story! Was washing dishes at the sink, had a surprise attack and forgot to cross my legs. I screamed “F$&@!!!!” And started to run out of the room. My husband yelled after me “What Happened?!”… “I Just Sneezed!!!”, I yelled back as I continued to run to the bathroom LOL

Jenn McPherson 6 months ago

Number three is NOT “BULLSHIT” as you put it. My youngest is now 8 years old and my feet went from size 7 to 7.5, even though I’ve lost all the baby weight

Yvette Charpentier 6 months ago

Hey diddle diddle….. Five boys later and my beautiful hair ran away with the spoon. Love reading these comments, I’m not alone :) we gotta laugh.

Michele A Mead 6 months ago

Number 3 is NOT bullshit !!

Kendra Fritz 6 months ago

After two kids, my breasts look like socks filled with quarters and tied in a knot at the top, my tummy rolls recruited another LARGER tummy roll which caused my belly button to migrate down between my hips instead of at my waist line. My size 8’s are now a size 9.5, I have to wax places I didn’t even know could grow hair, and don’t even ask what happened to my vagina. One natural and one c section, and all those beautiful size medium clothes are taunting me in my closet. don’t forget the part where somehow you can weigh less than pre pregnancy, but you will never fit into those pre pregnancy jeans again due to the permanent 2 inches you gain on your hips.

Michelle Yuson 6 months ago

My feet grew a 1/2 a size each pregnancy… lol

Georgia Ott Gordon 6 months ago

Number 3 is real. I wore a size 4 kids Mary Jane that said Barbie in them to my wedding. After 4 kids I wear a size 7 comfortably.

Colleen Gavin Ronan 6 months ago

My feet grew!!!!

Megan Hutto 6 months ago

19months post partum and I still have that damn line

Charis Andrews Hanberry 6 months ago

Yep. I used to be in a 9 as well… :/

Kim Massey Parker 6 months ago

If you’d like to learn how to diminish your tiger stripes a little, send me a pm. These are real clients with real results!!

Andrea 6 months ago

Amen to this! So not happy about this little side effect, but I’d do it again anyway 😉

Melinda Hicks 6 months ago

Yeah number three annoyed me too

Vyviane Tran 6 months ago

Oh man, so true

Caitlin McEntee Gimpl 6 months ago

Can we talk about hair falling out? I didn’t think I was going to have any left!! For three months after my daughter was born my hair fell out in what felt like chunks. The “wisps” around my face now drive me insane!!!

Carmen Schoen 6 months ago

All the bleeding afterwards is what suprised me the first time. I swear I should have just lived in a pair of Depends for nearly 2 months!

Katie Rogers 6 months ago

Number 3 is not BS, my feet grew an entire shoe size after my first child. :)

Angie Marie 6 months ago

I’m currently 8 years postpartum. Still have baby fat and I see no one is talking about the HEMORRHOIDS!!!!

Krystal Hall 6 months ago

Well that would explain why I couldn’t fit into a 8.5 when I went to buy shoes! No one told me your feet grew now I am a size 9 which isnt a big deal but I have wide feet and now it’s a little harder to find a wide shoe to fit me!

Gloria Gamez 6 months ago

Yup… Everyone was on point unfortunately!

Cyrilla Simpson 6 months ago

I went from a size 8.5 to 10 in shoe…permanent!!!!

Sandra Kreiner 6 months ago

Well crap, I’m getting married 6 weeks after the baby is due . Looks like the wedding night may be out lol

Rebekka Reilly 6 months ago

My feet shrank with each baby. I was a solid 8 before I had kids… after #3 now I’m a 5 1/2. Seriously!!! Not to mention the fact of tightening up the bra straps to get the ladies to perk back up!

Jennifer Grasso-Reinhart 6 months ago

I only experienced my hair falling out on this list. 1 more to add that after a year of breastfeeding my well endowed DD breasts shrunk into raisins

Viktoria Wohler 6 months ago

No it’s not my feet grew half a size

Audree Anzaldua Halcomb 6 months ago

My boobs went up a cup size after each kid. Four kids = 38 DD long…

Tiffany Klag Fulton 6 months ago


Corina Gibson 6 months ago

I didn’t know what a placenta was, or that I had one inside me… So when I thought I was having another baby after I just had one I kinda lost my mind. The doctor thought it was funny and told be that’s what I get for not listening in pre natal classes.. Haha oops!

Karyn M. Osuna-Poindexter 6 months ago

The feet…damn you, Flintstone feet! The boobs…totalled. That lovely mole on my face, fuck you too! Let’s not forget the buddy mole on my shoulder that had to be axed as well, the siatic, peeing with sneezing, during sexy time,…love you. Oh, freckles…wth? The numb patch on my tummy from the emergency c-section and how it seems to jave a saggy life on its own.

KennyAnd Ashley Fowler 6 months ago

I was so unlucky in the foot growing department because my right foot grew a little bigger than my left LIKE HALF a SIZE! hopefully when I decide to have baby #2 the left foot will catch up in size!

Jessica 6 months ago

Omg me too! I was 4-5 months pregnant and my feet and ankles were HUGE, and because of how my daughter was positioned there was absolutely nothing I could do to bring the swelling down. The worst part was that as she got bigger the swelling got worse and worse. I used to sit at my desk at work and cry because I was so miserable! Thinking about it now is making me cringe!

Erin Malick 6 months ago

Nope. My feet grew a whole size bigger

Paula 6 months ago

How about the lovely, spa – like uterine massage the nurse performs after the c – section… I was so grateful for that i almost snapped her head off

Stephanie Caswell 6 months ago

My feet went from 8 to 9. Pregnant with my 3rd so I will probably be a 10 after this one with my luck. And yes, having sex, if u breastfeed, feels like someone is using burning sandpaper to penetrate my vagina. Oh and at Walmart, someone else’s baby cried and next thing I know, two huge wet circles spreading across my shirt and of course I didn’t realize it right away and my dad of all people informed me. And u may not bleed for a few days, well, don’t get all happy thinking it’s over and ur the “lucky one” that didn’t have a 6 week period because when u least expect it, u will stand up and surprise, u should have had a pad on because blood is pouring down ur leg. And I used the “I just had a baby” excuse when trying on clothes so I could justify why I am 2 sizes bigger (I used that excuse until my daughter was 8months old and my super awesome husband reminded me I couldn’t use that excuse anymore). I wouldn’t change any of it for anything, it’s all worth it!

Rosharne De Jong 6 months ago
Tina Babb 6 months ago

I went up 2 shoe sizes with my 1st and another size with my 3rd

Cheryl DiStefano Schutt 6 months ago

Who are these liars claiming their bodies didn’t change at all… or worse, changed for the better??? Quiet down, yous, the 99.9% don’t want to hear it

Annette Adjutant-Nguyen 6 months ago

My moms feet grew a whole size after having all 3 of us. I had to donate some of my shoes after my 2nd baby as they were too tight on me. So, #3 is definitely not bullshit.

Stephanie Caswell 6 months ago

My feet went from 8 to 9 after 2/babies

Lisa Wise 6 months ago

Here’s the thing. Yeah, lots of stuff changes when you have a baby, and some things never quite get back to normal. But you’ll get your sex life back, you’ll rebuild your shoe collection, and watching your kid(s) grow up will make all the unpleasant stuff worth it.

Carrie Klinger Whitman 6 months ago

Yep, #3…had to finally realize I’d never be able to wear my cute size 6 1/2 heels again and start rebuilding my shoe supply with 7’s!

Melisså Mårie 6 months ago

I got mine back about 3 months after just in time when I went back to work.

Stephanie Caswell 6 months ago

Freaking hilarious!!!

Lisa Wise 6 months ago

I’ve tried to tell my husband it’s only going to be like this for about 2.5 more years (when our newest weans). And we plan to be married forever, right? So that leaves plenty more years of non-painful intimacy . . .b

Jessica 6 months ago

I can relate to many of these-but number one sticks out in my mind the most-when in a fit of PPD I took my long hair (braided at the time) and used kitchen scissors to chop it off. Yep. Thanks hormones.

Le Flaneur 6 months ago

Number 3 was unfortunately true for my left foot. It grew half a size. Can’t wear any of my pre-pregnancy shoes now.

Lisa Wise 6 months ago

I understand. I had size 7 feet, but they were already wide. Most companies don’t believe “wide width” and “stylish” are compatible adjectives.

Christina Pelliccio 6 months ago

Cough/laugh/run and yell! Lol

Christina Pelliccio 6 months ago

I went from a 7 to a 8-81/2.

Jessica 6 months ago

I fortunately had a shoe stretcher (and hardly ever have occasion to wear nice heels)-but when I do-I stretch the living s$&t out of them!!! It helped!

Lisa Wise 6 months ago

Um, where’d y’all get a picture of my belly?

Maureen Ryan Tozeski 6 months ago

The little hair wisps are pretty annoying, they stick straight up!

Tonni Mansfield 6 months ago

Lol I guess size 9 feet are gigantic! 8 and 9 are the most common sizes for women.

Jodi O’Connor 6 months ago

Oh gosh. This made me giggle. My post pregnancy body was a kinda like “what the fuck” moment that never ends!

Brianna Jane 6 months ago

I can’t run without peeing now. I’m going to try a yoni egg. It’s supposed to help…

Maureen Ryan Tozeski 6 months ago

Getting basically hosed down by a nurse and a nurses aide in the tiny bathroom afterwards was…ok not great

Jenny Rose 6 months ago

I can’t wear any of my pre pregnancy shoes and it’s been 2 yrs!

Aerin Gunn 6 months ago

There’s always gotta be the lady who’s like, “none of this stuff ever happened to me! I was meant to make babies appear out of me with no consequences to my blessed baby making body”. Christ on a stick.

rose 6 months ago

I completely soaked the front of my shirt while discussing the baby’s baptism with the PRIEST! Talk about embarrasing!

Terri Stratton Jones 6 months ago

My feet grew a 1/2 size. I went from a 6 1/2 to a 7.

Jonell Gottlieb 6 months ago

I just want to say to the expectant moms reading this, it all goes back to normal for some! No need to be horrified.

Brianna Jane 6 months ago

Yup. Sucks.

JeanMarie Morris 6 months ago
Mandy Barton Herlong 6 months ago

I had a c-section and def had to have help the first time I went to the bathroom. That really didn’t bother me, but I get severe scars and while I was on the jon, my plastic surgeon consult just barged right on in the bathroom like it was nothing! First ever (and hopefully only drs consult while I was trying to poop!)

Tiffany Perry 6 months ago

Um, even with a c section, sex can painful. You don’t realize how much your abdominal muscles do until you can’t use them. I’m just glad I didn’t have to have my vaginal walls explode or stitches to make me have a separate vagina and butthole again.

Hannah Elizabeth Young 6 months ago

Yeah I sneeze and piss myself 90% of the time so I’m a pro at just whipping out panty liners and pads everywhere and not getting one bit embarrassed lmfao. The whole peeing in front of the nurse after birth…won’t even bother me because I’m pretty sure after seeing my crotch push out a baby, she ain’t gunna care what I look like sitting on the toilet lol. All modesty is out the door at that point haha

Megan Higginson 6 months ago

I WISH a nurse would have helped me pee. I had to beg mine to catheter me because I couldn’t go on my own and she thought I didn’t really have to go. She laughed at me after because I peed a litre. Now I know the second time around having a baby which people to tell to fuck off.

Jen Rose 6 months ago

My boobs also shrunk. Like 3 sizes…

Jessica Jolynn Jaynes 6 months ago

My belly resembles the picture, but plus a c-section like scar bc I had to have surgery to have children. Now pregnant with no. 2. I hope my feet don’t grow this time.. .

Shannon Phifer 6 months ago

Lol, the trampoline is definitely the worst! I distinctly remember my first time 😉 I am sure my face was priceless!

Denise MacIsaac-Pero 6 months ago

Me too on the shoe thing, 8.5 to a 10- had to give away all my shoes!

Jen Rose 6 months ago

Or how about your ass goes totally flat! It grows back though lol (thank the lord!)

Sarah Aitken-Ladbrook 6 months ago

I think most of them are shit I’ve had 3 kids and only 3 of the 10 .and bleeding for 3 weeks no period for almost 18 months and it was less of a period than before kids . All these things totally depend on the mother herself they are not fact nor fiction just aftereffects of baby’s like pregnancy just vary from person to person .

Nicole Justice White 6 months ago

Hahaha! My hips never went back to normal. I also pee whenever my damn bladder feels like it.

Scott N Gina Armstrong 6 months ago

I have three girls and two boys. my girls came first and my feet never changed size. My two boys came and I went from a nine to a nine and a half. It’s the testosterone, I tell you!

Heather Harling 6 months ago

Honestly I didn’t have ANY of this stuff happen…nor did I get a stretch marked and saggy belly. Lucky? Yup! I didn’t do anything special. But even if I did get the unpleasant stuff it would be SO worth it! It’s the most significant and amazing process in the world.

Tiffany Perry 6 months ago

My best advice for those who are pregnant or looking to be in the future, dont watch boy meets world. For the love of all holy, just don’t! That show will make you cry every time!!

Tricia Bowman 6 months ago

Hmm suppose I’m one lucky mommy. I don’t have these problems. Lol. Cept my belly it’s not back to its original size but nothing going to the gym won’t help

Loan Pham Lynch 6 months ago

Jumping jacks are just not the same anymore

Margaret Mellnik Lefbom 6 months ago

How about the fact that things just are in different places…I’m back to pre pregnancy weight but it’s all in different spots! And my boobs look like deflated balloons

Angela Herron 6 months ago

My feet went from narrow to normal, and up a half size. I also have the hips spread – weigh less now than I did before each pregnancy yet can’t wear the same sizes because my hips are 2″ wider.

Lea Reeves 6 months ago

Im really weird. Only after my youngest, My feet went from a size 4 to a 3…. I now rattle around in mine. And its not like u can throw on an extra pair of sock in heels.

Jenni LeFave 6 months ago

So true sad but so true lol

Alicia Shields 6 months ago

I only had someone watch me pee with my first. I was numb for awhile after birth due to my epidural so the nurse wanted to make sure I could get on and off the toilet ok. With my 2nd no epidural so was up on my feet peeing and showering almost immediately after. With my twins, also no one watching me pee. I guess they probably thought I knew what I was doing by that point lol

Caitlyn Barrett Klement 6 months ago

Hahaha sneezing is the WORST

Mandy Levinsky 6 months ago

I was an 8 1/2 size shoe since puberty. After I had my son 11 yrs ago, I now wear a size 10!

Karen Neumair 6 months ago

Me too! I went from a 7.5 to an 8.5 during my first pregnancy, so there was nooo cramming my feet into my old shoes. My best friend inherited all of them. I vividly remember sobbing hysterically on the stairs before church one morning, “My slippers are the only thing that fit my feet!” Then I gained another half size my second pregnancy and another half size my third. I have very few shoes at the moment. I fully plan to celebrate getting fixed by going on a shoe binge. (On the plus side, 9.5 and 10s are almost always in stock when the 7.5s are already sold out!)

Alicia Shields 6 months ago

Me too. My twins are 2.5 and still have the leakage. Guess I have awhile still lol

Leila Correia Nogueira 6 months ago

My feet grew and I lost some amazing pairs I only used once before I got pregnant. 23 months later, I didn’t recover the number of shoes I used to have yet.

Sarah Opalka Forthman 6 months ago

Agree. I had to start my shoe collection over and it is so lacking. Sucked

Akasha Pearson 6 months ago

Hehe! Good to know I’m not alone!!! I have good side burns that are “baby” hairs (thin and blond) but the one chin one is right under my jaw line and I never see/feel it till its a good inch and a half (OUT OF THE SKIN!!) normally when I find it I’m doing errands in the car and I’m far away from the tweezers!!!! I hate it!!!!

Lora Shinholser 6 months ago

Honey I had a c-section. Pretty sure there was AT LEAST 20 people who saw my hoo-ha in its full glory… Having someone watch you pee? No prob!!

Cynthia Fitzner 6 months ago

Number 3 is NOT bull shit! My feet went from a size 7 1/2 to a 9!

Ashleigh Reisterer 6 months ago

Pregnant with my first and some of these articles are definitely scary.

Anna Packard 6 months ago

Ugh! I had such cute little feet, that got bigger with each kid! Now I’m a 7.5

Holly Walton 6 months ago

I’m so glad I didn’t go crazy. I enjoy not being a slave to my hormones. >.>

Elizabeth Smith Boblitt 6 months ago

They tell you “if you solely breastfeed you have the benefit of no periods.” Well I got my dang period at 4 weeks postpartum. With both kids.

Lisa Iannucci 6 months ago

My ass got huge and belly and arms but my feet went from a 8.9/9 to a 7.5/8…really weird. Never heard of them shrinking before.

Belen Kiemele 6 months ago

HAHAHA!!! Wonderful!!!

Cyndi Sandro 6 months ago

#3 is NOT bullshit! I was an 8-1/2 pre baby….almost 9 years later still wear a size 9!

Siouxqie TwoKnuckle 6 months ago

Did anyone else grow a fucking happy trail?

Lorena Villalobos 6 months ago

Thank you! I get everyone is affected differently by pregnancy and I really want kids, but sometimes these articles scare me.

Angela ‘Dray’ Gideon 6 months ago

My feet swelled but went back down. I was bummed. Shopping in he kids’ section is so much fun. And my breasts got bigger but also didn’t shrink. And they haven’t decided that puberty is over despite pushing 40 and won’t stop growing!

Siouxqie TwoKnuckle 6 months ago

My face decided to try to grow a beard after baby 2. I have a close relationship with my tweezers.

Natasha Allen 6 months ago

Thank you for that. Hahaha I love how real it is

Lori Forest Wagner 6 months ago

Your feet don’t grow as much as the additional weight flattens your arches thereby spreading your feet down requiring a larger shoe size.

Suzy Weinberg Snyder 6 months ago

And sex who the hell wants that anymore isn’t that how I winded up with 3 kids in the first place. When they go to bed at night all I want is the couch the remote and a good tv show :)

Jen Steele 6 months ago

#3 is definitely bullshit! I had to throw out all my shoes and start over, so sad.

April Marie J 6 months ago

Wait until you try jump roping. Oh joy

Danielle Sue Steele 6 months ago

I had a c section and definitely had a nurse in there with me to not only pee, but remove catheter and spray you down…help me shower. Yeah I was in so much pain I was grateful for the help!!

Lena Carlberg 6 months ago
Heather Elizabeth 6 months ago

Oh how they told me my feet would grow oh how I hoped (I’m a size 5…)… They grew… Wider. Not one bit longer! I thought 5s were hard to find??? 5w doesn’t exist! Lol

Ashely Jameson-Carel 6 months ago

My first 3 were vaginal and last was an emergency C-Section…I’d take the natural route any day of the week. The painful sex was only a problem after my first…I bounced back much more quickly with the next ones…but after pushing out our first 9 pounder, I didn’t think we’d EVER have sex again. It took much longer than the 6 weeks!

Suzy Weinberg Snyder 6 months ago

Used to be a size 7 shoe before kids now 3 kids later I am a 9 1/2. And the skin permanently hangs over the lovely c-section scar from my first child.

Aerin Gunn 6 months ago

For me, weaning helped. But the real culprit, and this isn’t common, was a huge teratoma cyst that my pregnancy triggered on my left ovary. It was playing havoc with my hormones and really added pain to the whole situation. I am very small framed and the thing was the size of a softball. Two surgeries later (and one ovary lighter) I was able to once again enjoy the sexy.

Rachel Mumm 6 months ago

No matter what they are sooooo worth it!

Becky 6 months ago

Me too!!! Especially if my son was crying or got hurt. I still get that. Lol

Jen Kaye 6 months ago

Think of it more like battle scars, lol. Be proud of what you did!

Melissa Mallory 6 months ago

I never had any of these but I did end up with my hair growing out several shades lighter each time which I thought was strange. And my 2nd was sitting on my sciatic nerve so I still have random moments of paralysed legs 15 months later.

Jaye Trattner 6 months ago

Ha! I chopped my hair into a pixie post baby (November baby) and regret every minute of it while waiting for it to grow back out. :( Know that one VERY well. Lol

Victoria Winters Spicer 6 months ago

First pregnancy? 6.5 to 7. Second pregnancy? 7 to 7.5. Yep. I know. I still have relatively small feet. But geez, the number of gorgeous pairs of shoes I couldn’t wear anymore.

Melanie Hellkamp 6 months ago

My feet just got wider

Rachel Mumm 6 months ago

Literally LOL’s at this!

Victoria Miller 6 months ago

That is exactly what mine looks like!!! Damn that belly ring I got when I was 17!!! I swear it looks like I have at least 5 belly buttons

Lorena Villalobos 6 months ago

Honestly reading this makes me not want to have kids although I really see them in my future. I just don’t like the physical aftermath. :/

Hilary Riley 6 months ago

I experienced pain and discomfort for nearly a year afrer my C-section. Though my anatomy did change as I was in labor for days with failure to progress. I suppose if you have a c-section prior to labor you’d be in the clear.

Alyssa Benton 6 months ago

It depends on the person. I know people who looked like they never even had a baby after 1 month, but I’m 3 yrs later and mine still sags a little. :( I didn’t get back to my pre-pregnancy weight until about a year ago though, so I’m sure that has something to do with it.

Lisa Moran 6 months ago

Went from 9.5 to 10

Nadia Draper 6 months ago

After bubs was born I lost a lot of hair around my hairline making me look like I was going bald :( fat, bald and sweaty was a great look

Jo McDonald Hooker 6 months ago

My feet shrunk!!! God knows how that worked but there is so much more variety in 9 – 9.5 than there every was in 10. No more fighting drag queens for shoes

Mary Swanson 6 months ago

Yeah I am still trying to come to grips with the whole crowded delivery room thing. I am so obviously in for a treat come July. Lol

grace 6 months ago

The peri bottle, spray as you pee and it’s painless. Those things are angels.

Alyssa Sanderlin 6 months ago

Oh, we just don’t talk about our boobs taking a plunge towards the ground? :'(

Jen Kaye 6 months ago

So when does the saggy belly skin disappear? I’m 7 months pp and it still looks all gross…

Crystal Wright 6 months ago

My feet didn’t (9 1/2) but the leakage, yup. Til my twins were 4! 4!!!!!

Laura Sorace Thacker 6 months ago

#9 is bull, too. 10 months and going strong!

Debbie Ng 6 months ago

I went from a size 9.5 to an 11. Sometimes a 10 will fit, but rarely.

Kristen Fitts 6 months ago

I had size 7 1/2 feet before baby #1…..2 babies later I’m a 9. Shoe shopping isn’t supposed to be depressing

Heather Stanley 6 months ago

Same here with the 10.5 now. Holy cow on the 13..guess we all should be fortunate we have feet to begin with!

Laine D’Souza 6 months ago

No number 3 really happened to me!!

Vic Santus 6 months ago

Yeah, I went up a shoe size too, from a UK 7 to a UK 8-which isn’t the best when it comes to finding decent looking shoes that don’t cost the earth (mind you, it’s easier than it was trying to find decent 7s when I wad in my teens-the world has finally caught up with women growing and being something other than 5’5″) :-(

Devin Stone 6 months ago

I have a feeling after having a room full of people watch you deliver a baby, you won’t care at all about a lady standing in the same room as you while you pee. Just a hunch though!

Juliana Doggart 6 months ago

i dont know about all of you but my belly looks something like this.

Melissa Miller 6 months ago

After going through labor and delivery, being escorted to the bathroom by your nurse isn’t nearly as bad as it seems. Also, when your nurse changes your maxi pad for you, post – delivery….yea, there’s that.

Amber Morgan 6 months ago

My feet grew a whole size. It’s it sucks

Stephanie Lynn Milbury 6 months ago

Lost so much hair after baby #2 I had bald spots in the back of my head and had to cut it super short so it didn’t look ratty and stringy

Amy Gardner-Beckwith 6 months ago

I had a C-section and had a ton of pain 2 days later. Could not sleep flat for 6 weeks.
C-section is NOT all they are cracked up to be.

Mary Swanson 6 months ago

I have a feeling I have no idea what I am about to get into. Lol

Lindsi Boynton 6 months ago

I was a size 6 before kids. I now wear a7

Missy Justice 6 months ago

My feet grew a size w both pregnancies.

Kimbra Jo 6 months ago

Ha try a 13!

Sara Tracy 6 months ago

The worst part? Now I PEE when I sneeze!!! WTF?!?!?

Celia Swaney 6 months ago

My feet did grow… so number 3 is not bullshit

JuAune C Thompson 6 months ago

My fucking Uterus is falling out. Is that on the list?

Ann Marie Miller 6 months ago

I guess I’m weird cause my feet stayed the same

Tanisha Woods 6 months ago

I had no problems with sex. And no nurse ever came in when I peed after having the baby. She showed me the peribottle to help with stinging but she left when I went to pee. Although if your super weak or anything its a good idea to have them stay nearby to help you back up lol.

Brianne Berger 6 months ago

Ugh. Nothing like getting rid of hundreds of dollars of shoes since you are a full size bigger. Asshole feet.

Melissa Tonsetic 6 months ago

These are so true!

Kerryn Homewood 6 months ago

It was the WIDTH increase that killed me. From B to C fitting. Helooooo Homy-Peds…

Sammy Boyce 6 months ago

My feet went up from size 6 to 7 with my first baby. Not at all with my next two. I lost so many gorgeous shoes!

Tanisha Woods 6 months ago

You don’t actually have to let the nurse in when you pee. I told mine very rudely actually to get out. She grumbled a bit but you still have rights and they can’t stay if you say no lol. (I was very cranky after having my first)

Taryn Kuczek 6 months ago

Yep, this would be my post-pregnancy hair.

Akasha Pearson 6 months ago

Hair dying thing not my issue… Always rocked the bright red even if it was a dark bright red…. My issues is first son gave me one dark chin hair and acouple on my chest right between the boobs…. Second son added to that by making the previous ones thicker and darker and around the nips… That IS the worst…. I hate what they did, but their love is worth it :)

Heather Luckhardt 6 months ago

My daughter was born 3 months ago and my hair is still falling out :(

Wendy Sue 6 months ago

Yep! I went from an 11 to a 12. Everybody said my feet would go back to their normal huge size. Um, NOPE!!

Brandi Worrell 6 months ago

Same here. Had big feet before, even bigger after.

Katherine 6 months ago

It’s sad when only peeing a little on the floor just as you are about to sit on the toilet can be counted as a success.

Melissa Shewchuk 6 months ago

My feet stayed the same size. My hips permanently stayed 2 inches wider, despite weighing less now than before I got pregnant. Le sigh.

Lynn Houston 6 months ago

Same here ladies. Size 10.5 now.

Brandi Worrell 6 months ago

Number 3 holds true to me. Pre baby, I wore a 10.5-11 depending on the shoe. 4+ years post baby, it’s an 11 or nothing. My next step if my foot grows anymore is a drag queen specialty store. They’re the only other “women” with feet my size!

Laura Fernberger Nudge 6 months ago

No one talks about #7 and it is a reality. I actually found myself a little jealous of my c-section friends who had no pain.

Lori Button Hryniewicki 6 months ago

Shoe size went from a 6 to a 7 and never did the clown red but letting my drunk friend give me a perm was not my brightest idea!!!

Cass Andra 6 months ago

#3 is true! Every child my foot went up a half size.

Mary Swanson 6 months ago

Wait – someone I don’t know is going to “accompany” me to the ladies room? Jesus – is there ANY dignity left when having a baby?? Apparently not. Not sure I am ready for this labor thing in 3 mo.

Erin Gray Wilmer 6 months ago

Same. Damn. Problem. Exact size and all!

Heather Sheppard Carr 6 months ago

My shoe size went up!

Megan Finer 6 months ago

mine wet from an 8 to a 9

Tammie McNally 6 months ago

All true! Haha!!

Julie Hughes 6 months ago

No problem with sex here…..

Stephanie Tucker 6 months ago

Went from an 8 to a 9.5. I have steadily been trying to rebuild my shoe collection. The plus is that 9.5 is usually more stocked than 8s. Haha

Laura Buitrago 6 months ago

Yeah. Bright orange hair….I did that.

Eileen Carmody Shaklee 6 months ago

You didn’t have a period for 9 months. Expect 9 weeks in a row of bleeding.

Kim Dean 6 months ago

Ya, #3 what the hells with that??

Erin Jaeger 6 months ago

Yep, I loved my hair during pregnancy.

Lisa Martin Cushing 6 months ago

I went from a six to a seven and a half after two kiddos!

Shonna Skrzypiec Meeks 6 months ago

My feet grew a half size each time! I now wear a 9.5 or 10 depending who makes it

Rebecca Headley 6 months ago

If you think size 9 is gargantuan think again sweetie. I went from a 10.5 narrow/medium to a solid 12 medium/wide.

Mari-Lou Cusson 6 months ago

I refused #5

Melissa Dixon Leonard 6 months ago

From 8 1/2 to a 10…never to buy cute shoes on a sale rack again.

Myranda Brack Pachlhofer 6 months ago

My foot grew half a size with each baby.

Cindi Beffa Ripp 6 months ago

My size 10 shoe was already enough…try finding 10.5…companies don’t believe in 10.5. Size 10 sure. Size 11, yup. 10.5? Nope

Aerin Gunn 6 months ago

#7. How about LONGER than a year. Everytime we tried it felt like trying to stretch a brittle, left-out-in-the-sun rubberband over a freakishly large squash. I thought our marriage wasn’t going to survive.

Tanya Wenger 6 months ago

Bigfoot here!

Kate Neissen Spirk 6 months ago

My feet went from 8.5 to 9 and got wider too.

Angie Miller 6 months ago

#2 & #3 never happened to me :)

Stacy Hart 6 months ago

Yep. Went from 9 to 9.5….

Laura Brown 6 months ago


Lisa Livingston Paquette 6 months ago

Number three happened to me. Both times! Lucky me lol

Brooke Eden Walsh 8 months ago

Don’t feel to sorry for yourselves ladies. So many infertile women out there never get to experience the joys of having children. They would gladly welcome these after birth symptoms. Cry me a River.

Brooke Walsh 8 months ago

Don’t feel to sorry for your selfs ladies, lots of infertile women never get to to experience the joy of having children and would gladly have all these after birth symptoms. Cry me a river.

Marcus ForJustice 8 months ago

girl up up to a 14 …

Jill Weyer Ross 8 months ago

I went from a 7.5 to an 8.5 in one pregnancy. Wiped out my whole shoe wardrobe!!! My running shoes are 9w. I refer to my feet as “Barney Rubble” feet.

Whitney Sardina 8 months ago

Mine is growing back and I have so much frizz.

Cassandra Cline-Gerasimchik 8 months ago

My hair is still falling out. :(

Stephanie Altamirano La Rue 8 months ago

I’m up to a 7 1/2!

Tiffany 8 months ago

Ummmm ya, try being size 12 shoe before pregnancy!

Stephanie Little 8 months ago

Not to mention that my already DD breasts went up 2 cup sizes and didn’t go away. Grrr….

Stephanie Little 8 months ago

#3 pisses me off too! All of those fabulous shoes that I owned….in a Dropbox. ;-(

Monica Anderson 8 months ago

You got that right! Sheer terror.

Monica Anderson 8 months ago

Lol. Number three. Mine grew half size with each of my pregnancies. Also lost my perfect vision with baby number 2.

Alison Wicks Bartnek 8 months ago

Was I the only one whose teeth were a mess? Four freekin crowns! I was using Lamaze breathing to get through the pain the night before I saw the dentist. Not to mention the financial cost…my credit card has yet to recover.

Laura Roberts 8 months ago

Sarah Dawn Jackson

Alicia Robbins Marley 8 months ago

#2 was my nemesis :/

Kristin Armstrong Orozco 8 months ago

So, are there ANY positives? Haha…

erika 8 months ago

is this Melissa Mcgrill

erika 8 months ago

Is this mcgrill?

Marilyn Rauch Cavicchia 8 months ago

Not having an epidural gets you out of having the catheter, the UTIs, and the supervised bathroom visits.

Emily Stoughton 8 months ago

Hahahaha!!! OMG! I just died.

Sylvia McDow 8 months ago


Jennifer Cann Zantingh 8 months ago

Three whole years after my last baby my giant feet suddenly shrunk back to their pre-pregnancy size! Weird, but true. Of course I had long since thrown out all my smaller shoes.

Lindsay Black 8 months ago

Okay, just checking. Bring it on!

Rachel Perkins Hoffpauir 8 months ago

Lmao it seems that way

RR 8 months ago

My doctor made me feel like a freak for #7. It pleases me to know that others have suffered that crap too.

Lindsay Black 8 months ago

Are we having a who can scare who more competition? LOL

Charity Moats 8 months ago

My feet are big too, cant wear my fancy boots now :/

Erika Little 8 months ago

Yep #3 is really annoying. I have all these gorgeous shoes that I struggle to get my feet into comfortably now. I could cry every time I see them and think they would be so cute with whatever outfit I have on :-(

Chrystal Smith 8 months ago

I sooo feel you on that one! I had big feet to begin with now a 10 ewww. But what ya gonna do?

Jennifer D Rivera 8 months ago

#3…I had to kiss a lot of cute shoes goodbye

Natalie Butts 8 months ago

Huge nipples from breastfeeding, but they shrink down again in 10 or so years, I know from experience

Jackie Reeder 8 months ago

#3 really sucks especially when your already born with a size 12 foot.

Chandalone Ketavongsa 8 months ago

#2 happened until my son was 3yrs old…WTH

Jennifer Castillo 8 months ago

Stupid question but… What do you guys mean by hair wisps?

Jessica Lyne 8 months ago

Ten more reasons to never have kids…..

Katie Harding 8 months ago

I had size 11 feet before i had my kids i now have size 12…i can’t find shoes anywhere!!!! AT ALL!!!!

Shana Danyelle Welsh 8 months ago

Number 4 I knew nothing about. But I came to a mental breaking point where my husband debated hiding the sheers from me…

Maria Stojkovic-Argoselo 8 months ago

#3 for sure! And according to the comments, it happens to almost everyone!

Krysten Reynolds 8 months ago

The hair loss. I have long hair and it’s everywhere. Everywhere. 22 months later I still have the hair wisps. It pisses me off. I can’t do anything with it right now.

Julia Myers Zorzi 8 months ago

I’m a size 10 whose feet grew to an 11 during pregnancy. When you can find shoes, they have 5 inch heels. No sympathy to size 9s.

Aimee Hempy-De La Cruz 8 months ago

#3 darnit. Was a perfect size 8 since I was in third grade- now it’s 8.5 but I have to wear 9s bcz they’re so fat!!! Uhhh I weigh 100 lbs- why are my feet and HANDS so fat now?!?!?!?!?!?! And it’s been 12 years!

Mardi Jones 8 months ago

#4 UGH!! I didn’t have much to start with :(

Kresten Svinth Mansen 8 months ago

#1 – post partum depression is real

Nita Mjolsness 8 months ago

Ya #3 makes me angry as well!

Tina Katharina 8 months ago

Hah! I had the gooiest-waxy ears from my daughters genes floating through my system – she’s stuck with them for life it seems- I luckily only for a few months…

Lisa Knight Ceniceros 8 months ago

#3 for sure! Just rude!

Amy Sleight Whiting 8 months ago

Before kids, I was a 9-9.5. Four kids later, is am an 11. It sucks. Really, I could be a 10.5, but they don’t sell that size. Ugh.

Alyssa Reinert 8 months ago

7 got me good. It was painful sex for a year. I mean serious pain too. Ugh.

Shana 8 months ago

Soooo true! It hurt for almost a month for me! The only thing that helped was leaning completely forward and touching the floor! Omg that pain was worse than childbirth I swear, lol.

Sarah VanTine 8 months ago

I liked being a size 8! I had great shoes that were a size 8. And now they all have to go to someone else cuz I’m a size 9 on a good day! And apparently everyone and their mother is a size 9 now too because I can never find shoes in a 9!!! Maybe they all had babies too. lol

Angela Hansen 8 months ago

I had three c sections and i love my scars 3 miracles came into the world thru these!:*)

Jenny Wilkie 8 months ago

#3 for sure. I had to get rid of about thirty pairs of shoes that no longer fit. I was so mad!!!

Saska 8 months ago

Forget just having a nurse come in and help you to pee, my nurse wanted to come ina no help me shower. I had an emergency c-section so I needed help the first time but thankfully my husband was allowed to come in and help me instead. That was my first baby. Don’t think I would have cared with the second 😉

Lisa Duggan 8 months ago

I did#10 the I need a perm!!!! Brillo pad head

Rebecca Mecham Bagley 8 months ago


Rachael Stanford Oyler 8 months ago

I wish someone had told her that I would never pass gas quietly again.

Melissa Homann 8 months ago

My hair!! It turned from blonde to a horrible dark colour – I know have to dye blonde!! Plus 12 months later it was still a terrible texture so I cut it all off lol

Karen 8 months ago

I suffered a pro lapse with my 2nd pregnancy ,I had never heard of it and was terrified was something wrong when.suddenly near end of pregnancy had bulge coming out my vagina! My daughter nearly 5 have had 1 op after pushing to haveit fixed only to need another as they didnt do full repair 1st time, keep those pelvic floor muscles strong ladies to preventthis especially with heavy babies

Ashley Riehs 8 months ago

Lol so true and I went hot pink then purple now I’m brown :-)

Shawna Wensky 8 months ago

Whenever I nursed and my milk “let down”, I’d immediately go into a sweat! We’re talking my own personal summer! Ugh!

Hope Murray 8 months ago

I’m 4 months postpartum and only this passed month have things gotten weird! Hair falling out, I’m freezing, low heart rate and no energy. Got my thyroid checked and they said it was fine. I felt better at 2 months postpartum! Hormones are crazy!

Shawna Wensky 8 months ago

#3 I thought was just me!! Grew a size and never looked back! Grrrr! And I had huge feet to begin with!

Hope Murray 8 months ago

The weight distribution is crazy after pregnancy!

Hayley Williams 8 months ago

Hahahahaha …. It’s certainly unlike any period you’ve had before… And the gushing. Bleh

Nicole Purple McCoy 8 months ago

yep, the whole “leaking” issue was a problem for me. it wouldn’t just happen when talking/thinking about them, it also happened whenever i heard a baby cry. any baby. my husband and i had been staying at his mom’s place right after our first son was born, and we had returned to our apartment to grab a few things. the baby next door was crying incessantly, and my shirt was dripping wet in less than 3 minutes! i didn’t have any breast pads with me, so i had to take a nighttime maxi pad, cut it in half, and stuff the halves in my bra, and i STILL ended up soaking them AND my last clean and dry shirt. i ended up going from a 34a to a back-breaking 36d within days of giving birth.

Natalia Lukyanova 8 months ago

#2 is ha-ha, so happens to me still… Most 9 months after giving births to my baby…#4 is truly infuriating! My hair is finally growing back… In crazy patches that are impossible to manage! I look like Einstein zapped by the extrication current!

Meghan Stefanik 8 months ago

It only came back because I stopped nursing. I wanted to keep nursing, but Timmy lost interest after the food and bottle were introduced.

Jeanne Prieto Davis 8 months ago

For me it was #4. My hair came out by the handful. If I was sitting in a chair with a tank top on, I could feel the hairs falling out and going down my back. It was awful!!!

My hairdresser didn’t know what to do with it when It started growing back!!

Laura Demetree Roberts 8 months ago

I grew an inch taller! My feet grew a half size, my ring size went up about 2 whole sizes (and not because of fat, all the baby weight was gone plus a few more!), but actually growing taller was the strangest one. My mom said it happened to her too.

Shailyn Volk 8 months ago

That’s awesome Meghan!!!

Cecilia-And Daryl Toonk 8 months ago

I had a csection, so only #3 (was a size 6-currently wearing size 8!!!!) and #4 have applied. Thank God! Oh- and I consumed my placenta- which helped big time with the drop in hormones! Highly recommend it!

Meghan Stefanik 8 months ago

It was awful. My husband had to go to the store to get me laxatives.

Meghan Stefanik 8 months ago

I didn’t get a period until almost 6 months after Timmy.

Melissa Ann Crippen 8 months ago

I could technically wear a training bra I swear! The only way I have decent boobs is when I’m fat! Lol! Oh well….they served their purpose

Jen Rose 8 months ago

I remember after I had my son my ass was so incredibly flat omg. And I have a huge bubbly ass. It bounced back though. Thank the lord.

Michelle Shipley Dumler 8 months ago

Went up to a size 8 shoe with super wispy hair also…sigh

Amelise Snider 8 months ago

i have 3 kids, (2 natural one c/s) and have only ever experienced #8 on this list.

Ashley Rae Jones 8 months ago

#3 My feet went up a size with each kid. I was already a 9. It’s ridiculously hard to find cute shoes in a size 11.

Clare Hampshire 8 months ago

Haha ive just read them fascinating will just have to see what happens ha x

Jamie Creasy 8 months ago

My hair never fell out & i never got swollen feet.
Still long, strong & stillll growing

Laura Gerwood 8 months ago

I was just crying about this the other day… Took my whole life to almost get to a C then after each child they just slowly shrink up lol

Alma Rosa Paston 8 months ago

lol i read this earlier

Amanda Durn Gaskins 8 months ago

Yeah, the feet thing pissed me off too – still does almost 10 years after the last kid. Started at a manageable 9.5/10 to a solid 11. :(

Judy Schuler 8 months ago

Try number 3 times 4. Truth. Thank God my feet weren’t size 10 to begin with.

Racheal Hudson 8 months ago

None of this happened to me and I had an elective csection so it really is different for every woman. Im in great shape, no issues with pooping or peeing. The only thing Ive noticed is my breasts are smaller after 20 months of nursing. (and still going) :)

Samantha Sanders Benn-Duke 8 months ago

Cassie that is exactly what happened to me – 7.5 to 9 wide!

Samm Remillard 8 months ago

I pushed for almost 2 1/2 hours with my first, and less than 15 minutes with my second. He slid right out!

Melanie Deterding 8 months ago

From a 9/10 to an 11!! Ugh! Lol.

Trish Conway 8 months ago

Also a “pouch” on my belly no matter my weight loss or excersize regimen is the worst!! I look just barley pregnant all the time now….

Trish Conway 8 months ago

Peeing when you laugh, sneeze, jump…..SUCKS

Janel Hutton 8 months ago

My feet grew from size 9 to 11!!! I’m pregnant again, I’m gonna have to special order!

Alia Amore Lloyd 8 months ago

Here’s one for you I lost my adrenal gland ruptured on my left side while I was 8 months pregnant. But I think besides that, the worst thing about pregnancy is the dark blotches that come up on your body on your face your armpits your nipples

Devonna Mahkee-Moore 8 months ago

Not true for some women

Allison Diehl 8 months ago

#3 yup! 8.5 to 9.5. Helps with balance though.

April Lamkin 8 months ago

#5 isn’t a big deal really. I was grateful for the help since it hurts to just walk right after and for a little while after. No pride was hurt from having help going pee. :)

Brandy 8 months ago

One word: hemorrhoids.

Dana Salzillo 8 months ago

Ahhh #3 & #4!!!!!!!

Stephanie Hokanson 8 months ago

My ski boots don’t fit anymore!! Dang it!

Gwen Olson Clark 8 months ago

Yep, had to throw out all my shoes and restock :(

Janet Ike 8 months ago

Yes, number 3 is so expensive. I’m still trying to “replace” all of my favorites. And I’m realizing it’s not going to happen my feet just don’t feel comfortable in all shoes anymore

Jessica Hardy Davis 8 months ago

I have had 3 children so far. Never lost any hair. No pancake boobs here and I breast fed all 3. My feet did go from a 7.5 to a size 8. My hair went from straight to curly. It gets curlier with each baby. I have some stretch marks on my hips and have yet to lose all the weight I want to but….my babes are worth every single thing that has happened and could possibly happen to my body. My body wasn’t perfect before my babies and it isn’t perfect now, and that’s okay.

Jennifer Lynn Swenson 8 months ago

Wow, I feel incredibly lucky that I didn’t go through most of these. The hormonal changes were awful though. I spent about a week feeling like I didn’t know which way was up. I sweat profusely, that on top of the vaginal bleeding made me feel beyond gross. I had a c section and the catheter stayed in for about 24 hours. Once I did go pee I did so independently. They put the “hat” pee measurer thing in the bathroom and just asked that the first time I peed to please pee in that and page the nurse. Honestly though, after everything that I went through during exams, the questions asked at appointments etc. having someone watch me pee would so not have been a big deal.

Mis Lee Loxton 8 months ago

And discovery of pelvic organ prolapse can be common

Kerri Scruggs-Schreiber 8 months ago

Most of this didn’t happen to me. That’s probably why I stopped after 1 kid. It was all simple for me. My feet feet grew one size (7 to 8). I didn’t have any probs during or after labor ( I had a midwife who stretched my vagina before pushing) so no tears-which meant no catheter. I was in the shower LITERALLY 10 minutes after giving birth. Some of these stories are exaggerated. So if you don’t have kids yet, don’t worry. EVERY woman is different.

ShandarWarriorPrincess 8 months ago

None of the books, Dr.s, or moms in my life warned me that after having a urinary catheter you could lose bladder control for a while. I didn’t know what was happening a few days after being home from giving birth, holding my new born, I stood up and was all of the sudden peeing uncontrollably. With patient understanding my sweet hubby came to my rescue with towels and to take the baby while I bathed for the third time that day!

Jennifer Ketcham 8 months ago

Gargantuan size 9 feet???? I wore an 11 before!!!!! And I STILL have that damn line on my stomach, he’s 19 mo old! 😛

Chelsey Jimenez 8 months ago

All are so true!!!! Lol

Alicia Schmidt 8 months ago

I’m still pissed about number 4!!!!!

Nicole Torgun Pancoast 8 months ago

I have 4 kids and didn’t have half those problems lol guess I’m lucky. And screw pads I never listened I took tampons to the hospital

Taara Datta Donley 8 months ago

Let’s see…. I have a jelly belly, pancake breasts, sausage legs, scarecrow hair and a thimble bladder one year after my daughter was born. And yet, even when I depress myself by looking in the mirror, I look at my beautiful little baby girl and know she was worth all of this and more!

Andrea DiMenna 8 months ago

Or that you never, ever get your body back. I am back to my pre-baby weight and size, but the craaaazy amount of cellulite that doesn’t go away no matter what and the small fupa…..sigh…at least it’s small I guess

TGray 8 months ago

when my hair wouldn’t stop falling out after four months I found out having my son sent me into hypothyroidism.

Fiona 8 months ago

i had a fourth degree tear and the first poop was so scary! Nurse told me to hold a clean maxi pad against my vagina while a pooped because it felt like I was going to rip all my stitches out. Kinda gross but it worked.

I also started thinning out in one spot on my head after my second which was beyond depressing as I was already thinning there from a massive scar anyways and I don’t have thick hair to begin with….I cried when I noticed that.

Kristyn Johnson Emenecker 8 months ago

My favorite is being unable to do jumping jacks without peeing. Forever more, apparently. Kegels, shmegels. Thanks giant baby #2. Good thing you were so worth it!

Leandra Fisher Mjj 8 months ago

I feel rather lucky. My feet never grew any and I was able to get into all my old jeans after all 3 of my pregnancies. I unfortunately got the brown spots on my face. One by my eye and one on my forehead. Thank God they’re light spots!

Dee 8 months ago

I went from a 34d to a 38e. I can’t seem to lose these last 10 pounds. They’re probably hanging in my bra lol. Hoping mine will shrink too when I’m done nursing.

Kathea Bolt Smith 8 months ago

Oh god, #4 is still pissing me off.

Jessica Anderson 8 months ago

It’s all so true!

Katie Schmidt 8 months ago

The way the author wrote about #7 pissed me off. I get it. She’s trying to be funny. But, if post-natal sex is painful, and your parnter isn’t keen on, or willing to ease in, accommodate, or practice other methods of intimacy, you shouldn’t just have to fake your way through the pain! How many partners would feel HORRIBLE if they found out you were?? (I know mine would!)
Heaven forbid you have an adult conversation about it… smh.

Hannah Danto Dorafsha 8 months ago

And, if you’re wondering when the hell you’ll get your pre-baby body back check out Lots of helpful posts there!

Hannah Danto Dorafsha 8 months ago

Nothing is more scary than that first post-birth poop. Nothing.

Diana Petit 8 months ago

OMG THE HAIR WISPS! My son is two and i still have a halo of baby hair around my whole head.

Nicole Navarro 8 months ago

I weigh 20 pounds less now than I did before I got pregnant and yet my pre pregnancy clothes are too small.

Jessica Pickett 8 months ago

I never had a line with any of my 5 pregnancies. Really the only thing that got me was the hair falling out (which got worse after each kid but is back to normal by a year after) and my boobs leaking!!! Our 1st trip out a baby that was not even mine started crying near us and on came the flood! Like “the husband had to get our food to go while I sat in the car soaked” kind of flood. The boob pads didn’t help much when the girls were on full blast.

Charlene Flores 8 months ago

Am I the only one who couldn’t wait the two weeks to have sex again!?!?

Cheryl M Morris 8 months ago

I guess I am weird, my feet went from a 10 to a 9.5 after pregnancy.

Ewa Konewa 8 months ago

#5.. That was a nice surprise..

Amy Ortmanns 8 months ago

How bout the first postpartum poop. I would of rather given birth again.

Megan Lorentz 8 months ago

Luckily with my firsr I only had the line linger around!! Maybe this next time I won’t be so lucky lol

Hannah Flier 8 months ago

How about waking up in a cold sweat every night? So fun.

Faith Giovanni 8 months ago

You suddenly don’t have muffin top but muffin BOTTOM ! The fat shifts to your uterus ! Then You have the fat pouch above your hoo haw like the woman you see at walmart . Guess I have go get me some high waisted camel toe mom jeans!

Nicole 8 months ago

Slightly off topic, but go to a chiropractor! I had this same issue. It turns out that my pelvis was misaligned from pregnancy, causing a tendon in at the bottom of the pelvis (like right in the crotch) to be torn and was horribly painful when getting out of a car, rolling over in bed, you know, basic stuff. Two visits to the chiro and I was pain-free. On a side note, he was convinced my whacked out pelvis alignment was the reason I labored for 60+ hours with no progression and ended up with a c-section.

Katie Schriver 8 months ago

So true! My line down the middle never went completely away after my first! Just had my second two weeks ago I guess we will see if it hangs around this time! :)

Jami Brewer 8 months ago

Wow. You lady’s really know how to make a woman who doesn’t have kids, want kids. Thanks.

Kerri Ruddy-Archer 8 months ago

My feet were 10s to begin with….

Lynn Finkelstein 8 months ago

The YAG laser works on melasma–they are so much harder to get rid of than regular brown spots, but the laser does work… eventually.

Patricia Oyole 8 months ago

My feet didn’t grow, but how am I going to wear heels and a skirt if now I have spider veins ALL FREAKING OVER MY LEGS. And dark spots in my face, that make me look like a banana.

Nicole Alexis Blackman 8 months ago

OMG! The worst!!! And it NEVER goes away!!!!

Nicole Alexis Blackman 8 months ago

So true. Oy vey. My feet went from size 9.5 to 10!!! On baby #2 now, praying to God my flippers don’t get even bigger!!!!!

Shailyn Volk 8 months ago

Oh noooo! I am sorry to hear that. Not cool! Girl when it comes back, I will be pulling out the ugly granny panties… Haha

Eileen Carmody Shaklee 8 months ago

Oh god yes! Buckets full.

Tim Nicole Wedel 8 months ago

These are all very true and I went thru it twice with both kids. My children are so worth everyone of these side effects /symptoms!!!

Eileen Carmody Shaklee 8 months ago

And steal all the hospital underwear cause you’re just gonna ruin all of yours anyway. LOL

Emily Brookshier 8 months ago

Ugh lucky! Mine came back at 12 weeks but then decided to be completely irregular and not show any signs of it coming so of course on the days where I felt completely fine it decides it hates my favorite pair of underwear and must destroy them

Danielle Rogers 8 months ago

Yup! I’m with you!

Danielle Rogers 8 months ago

My feet were always a 9, albeit not wide. Thankfully I dodged that bullet. It would put me at a darling 10.5 wide.

Alison Gibson-Maiola 8 months ago

So so bad.

Stephanie Dispoto 8 months ago

I had my baby 4 months ago and I still sometimes sweat more than I used to. It’s gross

Danielle Rogers 8 months ago


Cari Ann Perry 8 months ago

Oh yes! And I smelt horrible. Granted it wasn’t showering daily but even if I did I still couldn’t stand the smell of myself!!

Rebecca Eaton 8 months ago

I didn’t think the post-pregnancy poop itself was as bad as losing control of my bowels. Nothing like your first poop in front of your husband ending up in your pants and on the floor…Not to mention he had to help with cleanup. Now THAT was a total loss of dignity for me.

Danielle Rogers 8 months ago

I think there’s a cream for that… Lol

Rachel Baker Ayres 8 months ago

I thought it was just me

Autumn Clark 8 months ago

Obviously. But that doesn’t mean that you have to view it through rose colored glasses. I’m no martyr, some things just SUCK!

Lauren Jansson 8 months ago

I went from a size 9.5 shoe to a size 10! And yes, I’m still pissed about it:(

Stefanie Long 8 months ago

I went up half a shoe size, my left foot got wider, and my nose. Yaaay? lol

Shailyn Volk 8 months ago

I love Breast feeding, no period to worry about. It’s like your body KNOWS that you have more important sh*t to worry about

MyLove M. Barnett 8 months ago

My third pregnancy left me with two particular spots that haven’t gone away, and Spawn just had his fifth birthday… They look like dirty spots on the side of my face :(

Emily Brookshier 8 months ago

6 months later and the line on my tummy is still hanging around

Siera Silva 8 months ago

I feel like my feet got smaller.

Siera Silva 8 months ago

I had night sweats baddddd

MyLove M. Barnett 8 months ago

THIS! I want to cry over the shoe issue of course, but it’s a minuscule thing compared to raging hemorrhoids and nobody every really talks about those delightful little side items!

Kim 8 months ago

I used that too. Though nothing beats hearing your toddler giggling away and then he enters the living room with your peri bottle squirting himself in the face.

dolyndie 8 months ago

You are all going to hate me… it took 3 months to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, and 3 more to get to my high school weight lol
BUT, I was a 34C before pregnancy, but after breastfeeding (and 2 1/2 years later) I’m a 34A lol

Ashley Lawson-Hill 8 months ago

Mine did. I went from a 7 to 7 1/2 with the first and 7 1/2 to 8 with the second.

Crystal Red 8 months ago

Yep bigger feet loosing so many shoes :(

Lori 8 months ago

U forgot about the awful night sweats! The pajama AND sheet drenching, sleep robbing& never ending night sweats!
I would have to change clothes AND sheets up to 10 times a night, EVERY night, for EIGHT straight weeks. Plus have 2 loads of pajama & linen laundry to do EVERY day on top of caring for a newborn & regular laundry tasks.
The irony is that my newborn was the best sleeper, but I still looked like the walking dead because the night sweats prevented me from getting quality sleep.

Ashly Rodrigues 8 months ago

I started off a size 8.5/9 and now can’t fit into anything smaller than a 10 two pregnancies later.

Cassie Jorgensen 8 months ago

From a darling 7.5 to a 9 WIDE! Wide?! Are you kidding me? Gross.

Tonya Garcia 8 months ago

Ugh! Number 4!! My hair is FBR! Thanks a lot, baby #3!

Sara N Jason 8 months ago

Am I the only one that thinks everything is worth the end results of a beautiful healthy baby?

Bethany Burlingham 8 months ago

Number one

Cory Beimesche 8 months ago

Mine took about 3 years but at least it did go away. That was hard.

Tara Richardson 8 months ago

So…my feet got smaller. Very weird. The hair thing though makes me mad. Mine has never been the same.

Brandie Sasser Andermann 8 months ago

So true!!

Monica Davey 8 months ago

Six months later: “Doctor, my ankles are still swollen!” “Oh, yeah, that’s perfectly normal. They might stay that way forever. ” Wait…what?!

Kelly Thompson Sheehan 8 months ago

I gagged changing those pads the first couple days. No one prepared me for that. I now warn all my first time preggo pals.

Kara Willis 8 months ago

Oh the foot thing!! The worst!! All my boots….:(. I don’t have a length problem just a width problem now. If it’s not a sneaker or a flip-flop it probably doesn’t fit and it bums me out bad.

Christie Rudd 8 months ago

Yeah, I’m still ticked about #3, too!

Kiersty Sinclair-Davies 8 months ago

I am not growing my feet. I am not a hobbit

Kaylene Pryor 8 months ago

I never sweat too bad with my first.. But oh after my second baby.. Yikes

Leah Fox 8 months ago

I have a great photo of me in a v-neck about a week after my daughter was born. I call it “the day my milk came in”. Man, my B girls went off the charts there for a while!

Janice Fisher 8 months ago

Kathy, going in for surgery on the 22nd to get mine removed. Got them during pregnancy #2 and they got worse with 3 & 4. Huge, painful, bleeding literal pains in my ass. So looking forward to being able to sit normally again after I recover. Nobody told me this could happen and when it did, they all said they would go away after my delivery. Um, nope, :(

Nancy Echavarria Evans 8 months ago

I sat in my closet saying a proper sad goodbye to all my lovely shoes.

Monica Augustine 8 months ago

B.A. Mason Shoes!!! and Shoemall (.com) They’re out of Wisconsin – and the only place I’ve had luck!!

Kaylene Pryor 8 months ago

But then you may get another nice long break from bleeding again if you’re still breast feeding.. But you’re also as dry as the Sahara as mentioned in the article lol

Sarah Koebler 8 months ago

The hair falling out!! I was thin haired to begin with, and had pattern baldness ensued at 2 months. My temples and part have half inch fuzz that makes me look like Einstein.

Christina M. Mortimer 8 months ago

After having my son 4 years ago I’m still trying to convince myself that I’m still a size 6 when in actuality it’s between 6.5 and 7.

Sonia Arora 8 months ago

#4! And also – the texture of my hair has changed as well.

Angie Rish Klimkowski 8 months ago

I ended up a half a size bigger. I gave all my beautiful shoes to my mom. She felt bad and bought me a few new pairs. Hope your feet go back!

Monica Augustine 8 months ago

Ugh #3…. I started at an 11… Let’s just say for those kindred spirits in the crowd, shop where the drag queens shop – you’ll be able to find the cute shoes that fit again… (I’ve now got some 12W’s that I just LOVE!!!)

Autumn Clark 8 months ago

Night sweats should be on this list. It was like I pissed the bed except for WHOLE FREAKING BED!

Janice Fisher 8 months ago

Me, too Katie. So much fun being an 11 now and having to get rid of my already hard to find size 10’s. Thankfully it only happened with my first pregnancy. I was worried during 2, 3, & 4 that it would happen again!

Kirsten Martin 8 months ago

Do your feet grow with each pregnancy. I’m scared to have size 11 after this baby (#2)

Vicki Lamb 8 months ago

Night sweats
Pelvic floor redesign – thanks ‘assisted birth’
Bad teeth – kids take the calcium
Bad eyes – not sure why that is…
Carpel Tunnel syndrome

Monica Augustine 8 months ago

You aren’t the only one!!!!

Kasey May 8 months ago

Bless you.

Lacey 8 months ago

When it came to sex, after my second pregnancy, I lost my libido. I truly never wanted to have sex….and I don’t think it came back until almost a year later.
Also, when they give you stool softeners, don’t be embarrassed to fill that prescription. Heck, if anything, just tell the pharmacist that’s what the doctor gave you because you will sooo need them. Even if you were regular while you were in the hospital, once you get home, your body will flip the script on you. If not, you will find yourself on the toilet trying to go the bathroom, and end up with a hemorrhoid as a souvenir for the rest of your life, but yeah, not that I would know about that either.

Jennifer Zapf 8 months ago

Took almost 6 years for the feet to stop hurting. went from a cute size 7 to an 8 1/2 wide in about 6 weeks… and idiot me, didn’t realize and buy bigger shoes. UGH.. still now after a full 10years + getting shoe collection rebuilt.

Crystal Schneider 8 months ago

Don’t throw them away yet! They may go back! Lol.

Lindsey 8 months ago

In Ontario, Canada, we have a peri bottle that we fill with warm water and spray on the area while we pee and after we pee. That bottle was my best friend for a week or so after each delivery lol.

Linda Pfister Sowles 8 months ago


Crystal Schneider 8 months ago

I lost so much of my hair that I had a receding hairline, it was so embarassing, I couldn’t believe it! I also have keratosis pilaris, and it literally exploded all over my body, even in places I’d never had it before. Nothing like having a body covered in bumps and a bald head. NOT the greatest thing for the ol’ self esteem.

Laurel Workman 8 months ago

Some, less than glamorous ‘blessings’ when becoming a mother for sure!

Mary Beth Kain Landerman 8 months ago

#2, #3

Crystal Hutto 8 months ago


Karen Marie Holliday-Jaramillo 8 months ago

I was a size 7 with my first child….after baby number ten..I’m now size 10…Better to chase after :)

Angie Sabala Eberly 8 months ago

My feet actually shrunk a 1/2 size! Now thats weird!

Crystal Hutto 8 months ago

My most favorite that no one warned me about…. “Pancake boobs”. I lost all my firmness! Oh how I miss it!

Justine Marie 8 months ago

Oh number 4…. My poor hair :/ how I miss you!!! Not with the first two but the third baby did me in :(

Tracy Damicone 8 months ago

9 to 9.5 :(

Ashley Ben-Jacob 8 months ago

I can relate! I was in denial with the first pregnancy when my foot grew and now with the 2nd I have come to terms that I have to get rid of all my shoes and start over with a size 11/12!! I used to love shoe shopping…not anymore!

Angie Sabala Eberly 8 months ago

#4!!! I had absolutely no clue. And I was furious. I have super thick hair that refused to lay down for a year. So I was basically walking around with a lion’s mane for 12 months!!

Julie Motts Siddiqi 8 months ago

Oh I have horrible melasma to the point of people thinking there is a bruise on my forehead. I can’t wear my hair up without being embarrassed. Takes at least a year or more to go away with each kid.

Lori McCormick 8 months ago

#3 for sure! My feet grew a half size with each of my sons! :(

Bridget Vollmer 8 months ago

Ugh yes! My side of the bed would be drenched!

Toni Adwell 8 months ago

My problems seem to be that, whatever I used during a pregnancy I can no longer use post-pregnancy. Like allergy medication. I used something or another during my second pregnancy, and once the pregnancy was over, the medication no longer worked. Same for shampoo. I have to find a new shampoo after each pregnancy, because whatever I used would make my hair super greasy post-partum. Or that sex can not only hurt for up to a year, but pretty much forever when the doctor stitches you up poorly. Each birth after my first one, I’ve had to have the (not the same) OB excise more scar tissue to help with the pain.

Julie Motts Siddiqi 8 months ago

11 and 1/2 now. Yep. 11 and a freaking half. Who sells that even? NO ONE!!! Thanks DS 2!

Wendy Sue 8 months ago

Gargantuan size 9??? Try size 11 which grew into size 12! I have a permanent hatred for shoe shopping now!

Julia Byrne Anthony 8 months ago

3 and 4 were the worst!!

Trisha Stonehocker 8 months ago

Sorry, but size 9 feet aren’t that huge.

Brandi Clifton 8 months ago

My feet grew too, but in the last 8 months, I have been wearing very flat shoes and minimalist tennis shoes and I have regained part of the arch in my foot making my feet a half size smaller than they were. I had to buy new workout shoes again because I buy them a half size bigger and they were now a size bigger!

Stephanie Dispoto 8 months ago

Don’t forget sweating

Catherine Silversides 8 months ago

I’m with you on the shoe size too! More frequently having to get size 6 instead of 5! Can’t get my feet in my wedding shoes at all!

Charlotte Jones 8 months ago

Yup, no one told me about the feet. I was a size 10,now an 11 (uk), think that’s a us 13. and they have gone really wide. It was difficult enough to get shoes anyway, but I had got a nice collection together over the years. Now I can’t even find any women’s shoes that fit, and have to get mens shoes :-(

Kelli Bowden Weber 8 months ago

I’m the same. I wear a size 10 and have the hardest time finding shoes! The displays are all small sizes and look so cute…they bring out the size 10 and they don’t look so cute anymore:-(

Alyssa Tinsley 8 months ago

Yep. My daughter is one…those unruly wisps have given me 2 inch long wacky curls all around my face. Real cute… In the humidity with the halo of frizz around my face.

Judy Jones 8 months ago

I was a 9.5/10 now I’m a solid 10 or higher ugh!

krissy 8 months ago

that’s what I was going to say – the first 3 poops after a C-section make you wish you’d given birth vaginally!

Adrienne Roman 8 months ago

I’m almost 18 months out from my 5th and last kid. I still have the stupid hair wisps around my face. Also don’t forget any brown spots you get on your face can be permanent! Baby #5 was kind enough to bless me with one of those too.

Hilary Cutright 8 months ago

#3 and 4. I hate the damn hair around my face after every kid! And the shoes, I’ve had to get rid of most of my favorite shoes

Crystal Harder 8 months ago


Kasey May 8 months ago

Yea, so my shoes have not been fitting (35 weeks with my first). I told my husband I think my feet got bigger, because they’re not swollen…And now I’m finding out that I may never be an adorable size 5.5 ever again?!! So many shoes….

Krissy Brewer 8 months ago

hahahaha i think about the baby and boom, milk xD

Paola Mendoza-Castañeda 8 months ago

# 3 so true !

goose 8 months ago

Me too! And 2 years later, I still have the hang. Ugh… I call it my deflated balloon.

Adrienne Roman 8 months ago

I have 5, mine didn’t change until after baby #4, depending on the shoe I’m only a half size to one whole size bigger. Not too bad but still sucks. Always thought I was so lucky with my first 3!

Cynthia Phelps 8 months ago

My feet widened but didn’t really grow (hello 7.5w and bye bye all my cowboy boots), I chopped my hair off, I think I cried daily for the two months we were in the NICU, my wedding ring hasn’t fit since (bye bye size 5 1/4) – joyous times! Haha.

Nicol Kocher Thompson 8 months ago

With my first pregnancy I got back acne- gross! Glad it was only temporary!!!!

Becky Nichol 8 months ago

Lol oh how I miss my big boobs! But hey I got a lil more junk in the trunk now 😉

Erica Diemont 8 months ago

Well, I’m weird I guess. My feet actually shrunk a size with my 1st from an 8 1/2 to a 7 1/2. I worried they’d grow, but now on my 3rd and final pregnancy and so far my feet haven’t gone back.

Laura Gerwood 8 months ago

Don’t forget the ‘roids rage! Omg, I never want to use the bathroom again!

Melissa Ann Crippen 8 months ago

How about your boobs shrinking smaller than your pre-pregnancy size after nursing…cause you can afford to lose some at a small size B cup …that’s just evil!

Lyndsey Stammel Robinson 8 months ago

To a T lol

Angela Mason Harrell 8 months ago

I had no idea you were an eye model!!

Becky Nichol 8 months ago

I feel your pain, started at 10 now 11, gotta go for that 11 1/2 if I’m getting boots. Why is it so hard to find cute shoes in our size lol?!?

Julie Anderson Dore 8 months ago

Size 8 to a 9 here too :-(

Melissa Rei Moore 8 months ago

Shhh…Don’t tell anyone!

Stacy Johnson Henry 8 months ago

Yeah, the shoe thing is real. I was an 8.5-9 but after two children, I am a solid 9.5-10 in most shoes.

Kristin Parteko Athy 8 months ago

I’ve had 4! Every other comment I’m reading says their foot size changed. Glad I’m not the only one!

Laurie Braslins 8 months ago

if you have a csection, the nurses will leave your catheter in for half a day for fun.

Kari Moore 8 months ago

I know how you feel! I feel like the “calm your tits” lady is really just a drawing of me!

Savannah Rummell 8 months ago

Lol no it’s just one of those things that CAN happen. Depends on how much ligament relaxant (not the technical term) your body makes.

Hayley Williams 8 months ago

I knew most of these and expected them… My feet didn’t grow but my gosh I lost SO much hair when I stopped breastfeeding. I looked like an old man with a receding hairline. Never saw it coming!

Melissa Roeder 8 months ago

3 kids still have same shoes size but the breast, well I no longer have any!!

Laurie Braslins 8 months ago

me too

Stacy Henry 8 months ago

They usually give you mesh underwear after delivery to hold your enormous pad in place…I guess the thinking is that it will keep you from messing up your panties with all the blood. I rebuke the mesh underwear!!! I learned quickly after my first baby and came prepared for the second. I delivered her, jumped out of bed and headed for the shower….put on my OWN underwear and pajamas….felt so much more human.

Denice Murphy Graves 8 months ago

I’d like to think you are! 😉
Nobody is lucky enough to get every weird pregnancy happening. Count it a blessing!

Kari Moore 8 months ago

Mine didn’t either and I’ve had two boys.

Stacy Henry 8 months ago

I never needed anyone to help me pee, and I never had a catheter either. My biggest problem besides foot growth and pooping fear was remembering not to tuck my foot underneath me when I sat down on the couch or bed….I ripped out an episiotomy stitch that way with my first baby. Eek.

Angel Woods 8 months ago

Ugh!! #3 I hate you! I’m not even kidding that I have about 35 pairs of shoes/boots/heels (I’ve been the same shoe size since 2001) and I can’t fit anything!! I have cramped my feet into them for 6 months now (this all happened with baby #3 too) but I’m coming to terms that they will all have to be replaced

Kristin Parteko Athy 8 months ago

My shoe size didn’t change. Am I weird?

Mariella Gambarina 8 months ago

After child birth my boobs were full and looked ridiculously good. I was like oh yeah! Pamela Anderson has nothing on these puppies!! Two months later they had deflated completely and 2 kids later who each breast fed for about 18 months, my boobs can now *almost* touch my belly button. Yay! Here’s hoping! Ughhhh.

Kimberly Brann 8 months ago

Was a size 9 ladies, now a size 11……

Connie Carson 8 months ago

Dislike! lol

Dani Bourget 8 months ago

#3. Now size 11. And I plan on a second child. Better take stock in Payless Shoes since they go up to size 12 in women’s shoes.

Stephanie Heckman 8 months ago

Yup, pre-pregnancy I wore a size 8 shoe, post-pregnancy I am a size 9.

Carrie Chovan 8 months ago

My feet up went up half size after each kid

Heather Wadland 8 months ago

I had totally forgotten about that dark line!

Colette Cadd 8 months ago

I’m pissed off about #3 too given I only went up half a size grrrr.

Kari Moore 8 months ago

I tried to dye my hair. I have always wanted to have a crazy color in my hair but never did it because it wasn’t very “adult” Like. I worked up the nerve and got the haircut I’ve always wanted and bought my dye and went at it! What I didn’t take into account was the hormones. So instead of having pretty purple streaks in my hair (that I had just bleached which was terrifying to me) I ended up with blue which quickly faded to that stunning blue grey color that you see old ladies wearing.

Crystal 8 months ago

As if growing a beard wasn’t bad enough! Thanks for the heads up though!

Shandra Swartswalter 8 months ago

Yeah I had hundreds of dollars in shoes that had to given away. I was ticked.

Krista Gransewicz 8 months ago

Also, while you may no longer pee every time you sneeze, don’t go to Zumba without wearing a significant pee pad!

Maureen Newsom Ferguson 8 months ago

My hair turns a shade darker after every pregnancy. Thank you, hormones for confusing my hairdresser.

Eileen Carmody Shaklee 8 months ago

The never ending bleeding. You missed your period for 9 months. Expect to make up for lost time. Just go back the big warehouse size maxi pad box. You’re gonna need it.

Lauren Lawler 8 months ago

#3. So thrilled to have to replace all my shoes with size 10!

c 10 months ago

Try being on your second pregnancy and being a narrow heeled size 12. I can’t find anything! No more kids for the sheer fact that I can’t afford more shoes when I finally find them.

Tucker 10 months ago

Someone needs to explain the “mesh underwear”. I have no idea what you guys are referring to haha!

Tsu 10 months ago

You forgot the post birth poops, and blood clots.

I was terrified after giving birth, when this HUGE (AND I MEAN huge) HAND SIZED, flapjack shaped thing escaped my body and plopped into the toilet. I actually called the nurse because I was light headed after passing the damn thing. The next shit I took after birth was just… like… the best and worst thing to escape my body following the process of my kid arriving.

momof2 11 months ago

I had c-sections with both of my kids. My youngest is five and I still have no feeling where the incision is.(I was told I would) It doesn’t really bother me……until it itches. For some reason I can feel that lol

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Polly 1 year ago

The hormone drop immediately after giving birth— made me feel psychotic, I had to take a bunch of chill pills because I felt like I was going crazy, worst feeling ever!!! Reminded me of a bad marijuana trip.

Allie Winters 1 year ago

with a heart filled with joy and testimonies i want to say a very big thanks to the great Dr. Charles, my life, my dream, my hope and my future was at the edge of falling apart i got married to my lovely and caring husband 8 years back and we were living happily as couples, we do have sex two times a week sometimes three time but i never conceived, then my heart was burdened and filled with worries so my husband suggest we visit a specialist in the clinic to know the actual problem why i could not get pregnant, when we got there after much test was carried out the doctor said that my husband have a low sperm count and i also have a Fibroid problem that we both can't have our own kids, when we got home from the clinic my husband was so sad about the result and very heart broken about the result at the clinic, so i told a friend the kind of problem i was facing so she said i should not worry about it, that she will help get through my problems and she gave me DR. CHARLES contact and i contacted him immediately, he told me that i should not worry that he is going to help me and i believed in him so much because my friend has told me much about him that he was the one who help her to bring back her husband when her husband abandoned her and the kids. so DR, CHARLES gave me some instruction and other things i should do and i obeyed him very well, to cut the story short at the end of the month i went for check up in the clinic and the doctor confirm that i am two weeks pregnant, i and my husband were very happy and grateful to DR. CHARLES for his help towards our family and today i am a happy mother of three kids two boys and a baby girl all thanks goes to the great DR. CHARLES Contact him today with his email: i am 100% sure that he will meet your heart desire.

Laurie 2 years ago

Along with the postpartum bleeding you could add: You may or may not unleash a blood clot the size of a golf ball. Yeah, wasn’t expecting that one!

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Angelica 2 years ago

Haha.. Im dying laughing over here. I was terrified to poop ..

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I literally laughed out loud when I read this. Same thing happened to me!

Carl 2 years ago

And don’t forget about good old colic. The only person my wife had to help her before and after the pregnancy was me. She went directly in to hard labor and stayed there 16 hours when they finally decided to give her a C-section.

My poor son had colic from day one. At five days old the female doctor told my wife and I that our son was spoiled and was going to grow up to be a mean person. To this day 23 years later I still have trouble believing she said that. The Dr. had just talked to the night nurses before seeing us. My son had been keeping the nurses and aides busy at night with his crying.

When we got him home we thought that the stories we heard about newborns sleeping all the time was a myth. Out of a 24 hour day my son only got 3 to 4 hours of sleep off and on. The rest was spent crying. At least there was nothing wrong with his lungs.

A good nights sleep was a thing of the past for us. I also had to go back to work. In spite of that I’d send my wife off to bed at 9 or 10 o’clock. Actually I did not send her. She was always so tired she went anyway. I would stay up with my son until 3 or 4 AM. Sometimes I could get him to go to sleep and other times I could not until 4 AM. I soon got to be an expert in soothing a colicy baby.

I’d sleep but if my son started crying I’d get up and walk with him. My son gained weight rapidly. Later I told somebody it was like getting up in the night, grabbing a 20 pound sack, and walking 5 miles with it. Occasionally the sack would sprout an arm and reach up to grab my beard hair. It would grab just barely enough to support it’s entire weight. Try going back to sleep after that.

Our female doctor would not believe our son had colic. She did not believe in colic at all. She did believe in “Nervous and incompetent new parents”. Later at about 5 weeks we took him to another doctor. My son was laying there on the table screaming. The doctor calmly marched in, plopped his stethoscope on my sons belly. pulled it off, and said ” Yep it’s colic allright.” ” Tell you what to do is buy a fifth of whiskey, put one drop in the baby’s milk, and then you drink the rest of it yourselves because YOU’RE GOING TO NEED IT!”

My sons colic stopped at 8 weeks. On our own we figured that my son might have a milk allergy. We switched him to a soybean based milk and BINGO it stopped. We looked at the pictures we’d taken 8 weeks earlier and commented on how much younger we looked back then.

My son’s colic episode screwed up his sleep patterns until he was in his late teens. He’s always been a night owl wanting to stay up all night. 2 years ago

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Sandra 2 years ago

How about not only do you bleed for weeks and even months after the baby comes, but how what comes out of you starts out at red blood then turns a light pink then a whitish yellow.. “lochia alba” as they call it for weeks. how your pelvic muscles become so weak you pee every time you sneeze, cough hard or even work out. Or how after delivering you still look 5 months pregnant with a belly resembling jelly. Or linea negra (the black line that runs across your belly button) Mine remained dark and intact until about 6 months post delivery and was very crooked haha. Or the swelling post delivery.. I had NO swelling before going into the hospital but when I came out my lower legs and ankles were so swollen it was like play dough you push your finger against the skin and it stayed indented for minutes… weird (not surprised considering the day and a half it took my son to come out they gave me 6 bags of saline). Or at the shear amount of women that DO have a BM during delivery… I think its about 40%.. yup not a myth. Or how you go to sleep with normal boobs and then overnight when your milk comes in you went up over a cup size, weigh a few pounds more and have leaked milk through your clothes and sheets… literally overnight. Or how you have more then one hole where milk comes out and when you are engorged and the baby pulls away during breastfeeding its like 5 different squirt guns spraying milk in different directions. Or how painful it is breastfeeding with a clogged milk duct. and yes how your body changes. after losing almost all the baby weight I’m stuck with big hips and love handles. And stretch marks.. somehow didn’t get even one on my stomach where you would think I would but got plenty on my hips, boobs and upper legs. Oh I could go on and on about all the weird, annoying things pregnancy leaves you with that no one talks about. Looks like I get to look forward to all these awesome things once again in 5 weeks. Sorry to all the first time pregnant moms reading this who are wondering what they got themselves into but I will say.. all of it is TOTALLY worth it!

Katie 3 years ago

Wow, all of this is so true! Especially the part about checking your pride at the bathroom door. After my pregnancy, I found it hard to control my bladder and was using pantyliners to keep myself dry. I then found out that there are products for women just like me. I prefer the higher-quality brands like Tena and Prevail and like to get them from The Quality of Life Store ( because then I don’t have to deal with buying them in the store. Thanks for sharing, Candy. It’s nice to know others out there are experiences some of the same things after childbirth.

caro 3 years ago

Now I know being a mommy involves Wonder Woman feats and Macguiver antics to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but didn’t know the efforts I would go thru in the 48 hrs after leaving the hospital after my first (and only!) child by c-section. My sister came to help me (with her 15 month old she was still breastfeeding) and after our first night home with screaming newborn, told hubby and I to go sleep in her hotel room while she held down the fort w/ 2 kids. I hadn’t worried about milk coming in, but started having heavy boobs while at the hotel. Hubs was snoring away, so I grabbed the ice bucket and walked down the hall to get ice. Then, returning to the room, looked around and realized I’d need to figure out something to put said ice into times two, for both sides. And, who knew the plastic wrappers around the cups would make perfectly sized, waterproof ice bags? voila! Oh, and that bleeding and goo afterwards? For some reason, I thought I’d be spared all that stuff but got to go thru it even though my girl parts didn’t get smushed with a baby exiting thru it. Ya learn something every day! Oh, I was also confused why the nurse told me I needed to go into the bathroom with her and sit on the pot while I was still cateterized–she gave me the whole “this is how to take care of the area” thing, showed me the squeeze bottle, pads, etc. So loved the mesh undies! So nice we can laugh about it all now.

Tiffany 3 years ago

Please don’t forget to pack extra pads in the diaper bag. I remember the first time I took my second born to church. She was beautiful, the family coordinated, it was time for pictures in the directory after the service. However halfway through the service, she began to fuss, I took her out to the nursing room. That’s when it started. After eating she sat back, and had a complete blowout all over the back of her dress. At that precise moment I felt something alarming in my own body as well. Long story short, my dainty post pregnancy flow had turned into Niagra Falls, my wonderful breasts leaked worse then a cracked dam, tears running down my face. From that point on I packed a Mom outfit in the old diaper bag as well.

Anne 3 years ago

OMG. The picture of the post preggo belly looks JUST LIKE MINE!

Susan 3 years ago

OH my GOURD I am dying laughing here (well, a bit ruefully, but laughing nonetheless). I can so relate. “Check your humility at the door” at the hospital post-birth…erm, yep. The janitor could walk in and you’d just fling a body part in his face without hesitation and say, “Does this look normal to you?”

cassi 3 years ago

I am execting my first March 7th, 2013. though may be sooner considering the awesome braxton’s. I am terrfied, i cry everyday i look and see the stretch marks, im lucky to be almost 35 weeks and not that big actually from what the OB an fellow women have told me. However, i am terrified of the after. The pain, the bleeding, the stress, the sleepless nights, the not being able to know wich cry is wich, and praying i wont need stitches. My hubby has no family but his mom an lets say she is not that great he even despises her (she has kept us waiting for the crib the only thing she made us tell everyone she is doing, an still hasnt ordered it), my family is all two states away so its really only me and him. Im mortified reading all this but love how you all are so REAL =)

murphy must have had kids 3 years ago

I lost half my rear end after my son was born and the other half after my daughter came along. I’m thinking it may be time for the MOM jeans. 😉 My hair came out in handfuls and is now growing in gray (grey, for US viewers) and wiry. Lovely. Good thing my kids are cute.

SAS 3 years ago

Yes, isn’t “twin skin” fun? I also have that lovely lower abdomen after my c-section. And post-partum PUPPP? Ugh. I had it 8 weeks *before* my twins arrived, and I had to take prednisone because it was so severe. Whining is definitely in order when it comes to that rash.

Mumoftwo 3 years ago

My nipples were so tender from breast feeding my first baby, that I could only take a shower with my back to the sprayer. Direct contact from the spray on my poor “girls” was excruciating!

jd 3 years ago

Mommy’s First Hemorrhoids. Constipation that made me think I needed surgery. And I have an exposed nerve or something down there that is the opposite of a G spot. All because my doctor was in a big damn hurry and decided to take my kid out with a vacuum.

L.jackson 3 years ago

I know what you mean! No one told me about those cramps hurting so much. I thought I was going to crap myself every time it happened.

Christen 3 years ago

Sex was super painful for 3 years after having my first. The reason? Without my consent or my realizing it, my Dr let a student stitch me up. Normally that might be fine, but not when I literally tore from HOLE TO HOLE! He ended sewing up a little flap of skin on the outside, when it should have been on the inside… The only fix was to have it snipped off. :( It finally was done when I was getting sewn up (by the OB!) after my 2nd.

Ashlee 3 years ago

How bout if even if you remotely get close to your pre-pregnancy weight it doesn’t matter because your body has mysteriously reshaped itself and intends to stay that way no matter what!

MomMom 3 years ago

Well actually my bf loves it. The added width of the pelvis gives the illusion that i actually have a little bit of an ass lol. Also have bigger boobs than i used to so he got all the benefits…but he’s not the one who has to be sad when nothing fits!

Laura@Catharsis 3 years ago

You mean sex is only supposed to hurt for a year? Shit.

JBong 3 years ago

Same here! And why don’t the guys get it that once your pelvis spreads to cradle the baby it doesn’t EVER go back?!? They all think we can exercise it back in place. I’d like to see them accomplish what we have.

lindsay 3 years ago

Breastfeeding is a bitch! The lactation consultant kept telling me “breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt” What the hell……It was awful for the first 5weeks, I’m talking toe curling pain. But we are all good now. It takes a lot of practice and yes, dedication.

lindsay 3 years ago

I’m having the same problem right now. Nobody told me my breasts were going to get so big and heavy. Mine were good sized to begin with (36c), now I’m wearing a 40dd and its too small! I never take my bra off, Its so uncomfortable.

zinkemom 3 years ago

Mine did the same thing jackiee. I was lying in bed and raised it up to sit when my dad and step mom came to visit and there was a big gush. I looked to to see a puddle and thought at first it was vaginal. Nope. My incision opened up and kept doing so for six more weeks.

Cassi 3 years ago

I was floored that my feet grew a size . After each pregnancy. When I started at size 11. I miss buying shoes in a store :'(

Lisa 3 years ago

You forgot the poop, or lack there of. I was already constipated while pregnant and by the time LO was born via c-sec, I hadn’t gone for over a week. After she was born, again, didn’t go until at least 2 weeks and HOLY HELL!! My poor butthole….
First post pregnancy poo is scary painful!

Also, no one ever told me that my c-sec scar would itch like hell sporadically almost 6 months later.

Jamie 3 years ago

RIght?? It’s so surreal to think the crazy mesh underwear, sitz bath, and enormous pads filled with ice were my best friends in those days!

Jamie 3 years ago

Edema happened to me at 5 months pregnant. My ankles and calves were so big, I wore men’s slippers for the rest of my pregnancy! I guess it was better, seeing that my shoes didn’t fit me ever again anyway. :(

Andrea 3 years ago

Same here! I literally could only wear slippers for a week post-birth, even flip-flops hurt like hell because they cut into my sausage feet, and I swear my calves weighed twenty pounds each from water weight. Considering I refused to be seen in public pre-pregnancy in anything less than cute jeans and heels, taking my daughter to her three-day peds checkup in maternity yoga pants and sock monkey slippers felt like a huge kick in the teeth.

Linda 3 years ago

sorry I se eyou said he’s two then I asked you how old he is. doh!

Linda 3 years ago

yeah, it sucks to lose your whole wardrobe. I got rid of all my old clothes when we moved because it was too depressing to hang onto these clothes when I thought I would never lose the weight! You never know, you might still get into your 2s again. how old is your child? like I said it took me five years ( but I do have two kids) Weight isn’t the thing. Fat weighs far less than muscle and gives you a different shape.

Dani Ryan 3 years ago

Ha! Love it!

The peeing during labor and after giving birth thing? They made MY HUSBAND help me with that. Not my finest moments.

Raina 3 years ago

I know. I have them on the backs of my knees, where my arms join my body, my boobs, my stomach and they make nice criss crosses on my hips. I had to get rid of all my cap sleeved clothes. :(

Raina 3 years ago

Me, too. I was sick to my stomach the first time I tried on my favorite pair of Blahniks. Ended up selling off all of them on eBay. I now wear a 9.5 and it’s a hard size to fit for some reason. :(

MomMom 3 years ago

Hey at least you got back into your pre-pregnancy size! My son turns two next month and I’m still a size 6, despite being 5lbs less than i was pre-pregnancy. Whole closet full of clothes i’m sure i’ll never wear again but can’t bring myself to get rid of lol.

Chelsea 3 years ago

After both of my babies were born I remember having this weird feeling of air or gas inside of would last for a few days. I think I would burp a lot to, so maybe it was gas. No one ever understood what I was taking about when I tried to tell them.

MomMom 3 years ago

Oh yeah…the first poop…ugh. The hospital gave me WAY too many stool softners to counter-act the pain meds. My 3rd day PP in the hospital and I kept having to “try” to run back and forth to the bathroom because i ended up with diahreah. (And i had a c-section…OUCH!)

MomMom 3 years ago

Me too! I had a c-section and was just leaving the hospital on my 4th day PP. It was 30 degrees outside and i had to go home with no shoes on because my feet were too fat! My doc said it was the extra fluid from the iv most likely.

Cortney 3 years ago

That first post pregnancy poop…ouch! And the night sweas worse that running a half marathon in the middle of the summer!

Amy 3 years ago

I had no idea the nurse was going to have to make sure I peed before we were allowed to leave the hospital. I didn’t know I would be scared to poop because of my stitches. I had no idea my stretch marks would get so damn itchy when my skin is dry.

Linda 3 years ago

I got stretch marks everywhere after the second baby. I have them on the backs of my knees. It is astounding.

Linda 3 years ago

OMG me too. I took pic. My feet look like bread loaves. My hubs could massage a big trench into the dough.

Linda 3 years ago

ha ha. me too. and poop!

Linda 3 years ago

How terrible for you! lol. It took me five years to get back down to my size 8. I went up to a 14.

Nickie S. 3 years ago

I had an emergency c-section with my twins. I wish someone had informed me of the horrific pain from it all. I literally thought my abdomen exploded the first time I sneezed after my c-section. Not to mention I pissed my pants. Good times. And the 140 year old wrinkled flap of lower abdomen I am left with was a major bonus… I also developed a PUPPP rash after the surgery which covered most of my body. Whine.

Amanda 3 years ago

Why couldn’t someone tell me that stretch marks can literally grow from your neck to your knees? I have a 4 inch spam across me back that still has pretty skin.

Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) 3 years ago

Your stretch marks will shed. Fun fun.

Rebeccah 3 years ago

For real. I clench up just thinking about that.

Elizabeth 3 years ago

I was not too pleased that a tiny tear near the urethra caused burning pain everytime a peed for 4 weeks. yuck. The midwife said it was too tiny to stitch, but that that I would feel it for awhile. Oh thanks, good fortune? NO. OUCH. It hurt to do both pee & poo. The whole process of going to the bathroom took a long time & it hurt… and I had a 2 year old in the next room yelling “mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy”…

Kathy 3 years ago

I got the hemorrhoids with my last birth. Big enough to make the nurses say “OhMyGawd!!” They’re still there. The baby just turned 31 last November.

Jenni P. 3 years ago

I never had swelling during the pregnancy, and I had a lot of energy and worked out almost every day. How bad could post-pregnancy be?,i thought, regrettably. From the extreme feet and leg swelling that scared me for 2 long weeks, to the painful intercourse, to the “not able to work out after work because the baby needs me to get right home to him so he can eat”… I lost most of the pregnancy weight within a few weeks but gained it back because with breastfeeding, I am ravenous.

Nicole(Whole Strides) 3 years ago

No one prepared me for what a process it would be to use the bathroom in the days post-birth. It was like a 10 step process with all the sprays and the creams and the ice packs and everything else. I wasn’t expecting that at all.

Liz 3 years ago

I didn’t realize I would be able to feel my scar where they cut me for the rest of eternity, that breastfeeding takes dedication, or what a complete bitch external hemorrhoids can be. I hated pooping for a year.

Kacie 3 years ago

Who took a picture of my stomach and posted it on the internet?!

Im sure its not mine, but damn does it look the same. all i can say is yes… to all of the above.

Yuliya 3 years ago

so what I hear you saying is that we should all eat our placentas? double yum!

Jayzandra 3 years ago

I didn’t expect stretch marks on my boobs, ass, and thighs. But mostly, I never, EVER heard that after the 2nd birth you experience painful uterine cramps while it contracts back to it’s pre-baby size. And it gets worse with each pregnancy/birth.

Jessica 3 years ago

Yes!!!! I remember my boobs growing like 10 times their size and were heavy and hard as rocks! And my boobs are already no to begin with so that really sucked!

Jessica 3 years ago

That is good to know considering I’m due with my 2nd kid in April. Hopefully I’ll be a little more prepared with everything this time around.

Heather @ Kraus House Mom 3 years ago

The first shower after giving birth, you suddenly realize you not only grew a baby, but a set of balls between your legs too. There’s also the loss of sphincter control. Made sure I bought flushable wipes for myself.

Michelle 3 years ago

About 4 days post pardum I suddenly had kankles and sausage toes and it hurt to walk! I had no idea what was happening! Freaked me out!!!

Rachel 3 years ago

Yeah, and now they have this suppository they give you right after the baby is born, that makes the bleeding lighter. Yay, except no one mentioned that it makes it last longer!

Brandy P 3 years ago

The shoe size thing definitely, the boob leaking thing absolutely, but no one ever mentioned to me the sheer weight of your breasts when your milk comes in. I remember rolling out of bed (literally cuz I had a c-section) and standing up and feeling like I had two 10 lb weights hanging off my chest. I was like omg owwwwwie! Between the leaking and the weight the only time I took a bra off for the first 6 months was when I was in the shower.

Allie 3 years ago

My feet grew! That was unexpected.

But I am not telling you what else happen to me but you listed a few, lol!


jackiee 3 years ago

Omg me too….my incision decided to open up under the steri-strips yuck!

Jessica 3 years ago

Yeah…. The whole postnatal bleeding thing….I don’t remember EVER hearing OR reading about it. EVER! Talk about unprepared…

Britney 3 years ago

My vagina would get this achy feeling all over! I thought I was a freak of nature.

Samantha 3 years ago

The worst for me was the inability to make it to the potty before I started to pee. Horrifying.

Stephanie 3 years ago

I was a 6 1/2 – I worked for Nine West and took full advantage of the employee discount. I cried – for days – getting rid of my red boots.

sara 3 years ago

and don’t forget about the first”after pregnancy”poop!That alone scared the hell out of me!!

katie 3 years ago

Me too. And I was a size 10 before I got pregnant.

katie 3 years ago

For about 6 months after my daughter was born, I would get the sensation that I had just been kicked in the crotch. Constantly. For no reason.

Stephanie 3 years ago

The shoe thing really threw me – really. I had a ton of beautiful shoes that I had to get rid of because I went up a full shoe size. Tragic.

MomMom 3 years ago

How about he fact that it seems impossible to get back down to your pre-pregnancy size! I only gained 15lbs when pregnant. Lost it all plus 5 lbs within the first 3 months but I never could squeze back into my size 2 :( My actual bone structure of my hips changed and got wider! So even if you do lose all the weight it doesn’t mean your clothes will ever fit the same again!

Melissa 3 years ago

Or if like me you ended up with a c-section (after 24hrs of unsuccessful labour) Your lovely parting gift is an extreme fat overhang that is prone to topical yeast infections along my scar during the hot summer months. Sexy.

Pattie Crider 3 years ago

Great post….I learned the hard way too about leakage from thinking or talking about my newborn. :-) Pattie

Sharon 3 years ago

I think you missed the one where it hurts like no other just to pee! I dont know how it is there, but here in Norway, the hospital bathrooms have a small shower hose to use while peeing to lessen that pain. I had to continue for a week at home in the shower before I was “man” enough to tough it out.