I don’t want to be that chick in her mid-30s who complains about getting older, because when I hear chicks in their mid-20s complain about being old, it makes me want to burn everything to the ground. So, I can only assume anyone older than me would be collectively rolling their eyes.
But I am getting older and there are some signs you’re aging that can’t be ignored. For one, I am having trouble reading my computer screen, so I can only assume my eyesight is deteriorating as I type this. I wake up just about every day with a different part of me that aches for no particular reason. I also have random parts of me that sag that never used to sag before. My body is basically already falling apart.
Luckily, the funny people of Twitter understand and are here to help us laugh about aging until we cry, then laugh some more, then sob when we remember this is the youngest we’ll ever be again:
We just can’t rally like we used to:
And we live in a state of permanent exhaustion:
We’re constantly reminded how old we are:
Especially in the age of social media:
And we have zero patience for stupidity:
The fact is our priorities have changed:
Yes, ALL of our priorities:
If we had it our way, we’d sleep as much as possible:
And eat a lot of cheese:
Our perspective has definitely changed:
We worry about things like skin cancer:
In fact, our brains just work differently now:
Which is especially fun when you have anxiety:
While the rest of our body slowly fails us:
But to be fair, we’re not always great to our bodies either:
And we tend to forget we’re getting older until we’re painfully reminded:
Sometimes we reminisce about the good old days:
Or when we used to be cool:
But we’ve learned a lot about life:
And have picked up some wisdom along the way:
We’ve learned how to reclaim our time:
No matter how much time we need:
While my body slowly surrenders to the power of gravity, and my eyesight gets worse and my joints begin to ache for no reason, I like to remember that I’m wiser than I was a decade ago.
I’ve may have lost my metabolism, but I’ve also lost my patience when it comes to putting up with toxic people in my life. I might have more wrinkles, but I’ve learned to put up with less bullshit. So in the end, aging is pretty fucking awesome.
Besides, I’m finally aging into my salty-ass personality. So get off my lawn and let me listen to my NPR in peace.
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