We’ve talked about it until we are blue in the vagina — douching and trying to make your taco smell like anything other than the glorious honey pot it is isn’t good for your body, and can have side effects you don’t want.
However, giving it a bit of a splash with some water before you feed it to someone else might make you feel more fresh.
I’ve been known to dip into the bathroom to freshen up before a sexy sesh — and I’m not putting on lipstick, know what I’m saying?
Things can get sweaty and sticky at the Y, and most of the time, I’m not having a romp session right after I shower.
I’m all for spontaneous sex. If I’ve just finished doing something that made me sweaty, I would feel a lot better if I showered first. But, if a man ever told me I needed to go wash up before he even contemplated eating at Buffet Vajayjay every time, even after I’d already showered that day and felt fairly clean, I’d tell him he could dine elsewhere.
Let’s face it, no one wants to feel dirty just for having genitals. Before you go diving down around there, you should realize balls, penises, vaginas, and assholes are, well, exactly what they are. This isn’t an aromatherapy session or a frozen yogurt stand.
Don’t make someone feel like they need to go to Scrub-A-Dub for you before snacking on their snatch, is my opinion.
This topic — to wash or not to wash — was recently asked on Reddit and let me just say, folks have a mouthful to say about the subject.
One commenter said, “I always know when my partner is hoping for a little something because there will be water all over the ground in front of the bathroom sink. Quick tip, if you are hoping for something, making a mess for your partner to clean up is not the right move.”
The best part about this is the tip. (See what I did there?) Because yes, a mess that is left by your partner to look at just before bed (or whenever) is the best way to make love juices go dry.
Another commenter is always prepared writing, “This is literally half the reason I have a bidet. Go for a piss, rinse the boys and give the ol’ poop chute a good dousing too because assholes stink.”
I have to agree. I love my bidet and it was worth every penny. An added bonus is you are ready for someone to explore (all) of your love entrances without worrying how clean you are.
And much like the courtesy wipe, this person gives themselves a courtesy check: “It’s more of a ‘let’s make sure I’m not in need of a wash’ kind of thing for me and my SO.”
But, if you want to live your life with hard and fast rules, you can follow this person’s advice: “This is the one. Main rule is ‘have you pooped since you last showered?’ If the answer is yes, it’s a hard no. Then it becomes a flirty thing, like ‘hey I’m gonna go grab a shower…’ and then we cut eyes at each other.”
And this poor lad would like to send a message to his ex: “Would somebody tell my ex please? When you’re already spontaneous and half way through hand stuff as foreplay, it’s not an appropriate time to say ‘oh, I should probably freshen up.’ Then sit on Tik Tok for 12 minutes in the bathroom and wonder why I’m not hard anymore when you get back.”
The fact we are all worried about how dirty are genitals (a part of our body that probably has the least exposure to outside dirty and germs) seems almost silly when you look at it front this point-of-view: “A friend of mine told me whenever she would take a guy home with her from the bar, the first thing she would make him do was wash his hands. Thinking of all the dirty things hands touch every day, this made perfect sense to me.”
Right? Hello, we should all be washing our hands before we touch someone’s pearl, chocolate cheerio, or sensitive sacks.
The vagina is a very sensitive area and putting almost anything in there can mess it up. This is a great point from another commenter: “Dirty hands in the vagina can be brutal. that alone can knock off pH and cause a smell.” As Redditor HerbertGoon says, “Hands need to be clean before flicking the bean.”
And perhaps, says another commenter, we should look at oral sex just as we look at real food (even if you’ve already showered that day): “I mean, you wash your vegetables before you eat them.”
Regardless of what you do before you chow downtown, the most important thing is that you are open and honest with your partner and never shame them. There’s a way to bring this up (“Hey, I love the way you smell after you’ve just washed. It turns me on”) without making someone feel bad about themselves or their hygiene.
But for the love of god, clean up the puddles of water if you do rush in the bathroom to give yourself a refresher. It will work out better for everyone involved.
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