Here’s All The Things You Thought Were Important With Your First Baby And Now You Know Better

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 
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Everything is precious when you have your first baby. Because, duh, you haven’t done this before. As a new mom, you become Chief Strategist of Raising A Tiny Human and manage expectations accordingly — which is to say you will settle for nothing less than perfection.

And then, of course, there’s reality. Trying to maintain perfection as a new mom is like being shot out of cannon into a brick wall. So you start making concessions and settling for not just good but “good enough” for your survival. By the time your second or third child comes around, your expectations have gotten so low that — I’m just spitballing here — you’d be more than fine with said additional children raising themselves. I know that’s how I’m living my best #MomLife right now.

Here’s six things I thought were absolutely important to me with my first child and now I know better.

The Name Brand Diaper Struggle Is Real

You know what time I’d like to get back as a new mom? All the thought I put into what my choice of diaper brand said about me as a parent. Of course it said exactly zero, but you couldn’t tell me that. I was convinced I’d get the side-eye if my child didn’t drop trow and flash an impressive brand. Now? I can’t be bothered with such ridiculousness — it’s all about the best value I can find, and that usually means the store brand, like Walmart’s Parent’s Choice.

Hand-Me-Downs Can’t Sit With Us

As a new mom, yes, I was thankful for any help I received and it was plentiful and appreciated. And yet, there was this hand-me-down stain I had to overcome. See what I did there? Pun jokes are fun. We do silly things to avoid potential judgement and I quickly realized that, yes, shopping for new stuff was awesome and accepting hand-me-downs was a practical necessity. I just had to get over myself, and I quickly did.

My Child Will Live In A Germ-Free Bubble Of My Own Creation

HA! Riight. Back when I was misinformed, I would sterilize pacifiers like you wouldn’t believe. All you had to do was look at them and I’d be boiling water and throwing them in for a couple of seconds. Now? My child could drag a pacifier down the street and I’d dust it off and hand it over. Of course, not really, but kinda.

I Will Make This Meal From Scratch Or So Help Me

What was I a masochist? You betcha. I would puree my own baby food, I put a ban on orange cheese sand for macaroni and cheese and I baked my own granola bars. Then I started breaking out in stress rashes and that was the end of that. Cheese sand and the blue box was in and so were the dinosaur nuggets and I’ve never looked back.

The Luxury Stroller System As Mom GOALS

Some things about new motherhood are straight up shiny and of course you want them. Are they a necessity? Nope. I feel pretty strongly that umbrella strollers — with their limited design and gaudy patterns — are classic for a reason. They’re easy to walk by, pass up and eye roll but you’re probably going to need one at some point. And umbrella strollers weigh all of two pounds, collapse in one second and fit just about everywhere. Can you put a newborn in one? No, but I wish someone would have told me to put one on my registry. *shakes fist*

I Will Be A Sponge For The Sage Advice Of Other People’s Parenting Experiences

Hear me out: It’s not necessarily a bad thing to have an open ear for advice. Sometimes you can learn something new because you don’t “know it all.” But then people take it Next Level and ruin your experiment with their insufferable tales of everything you’re doing wrong and they did right. So then you need to put on ban on other people’s opinions and never look back. Sure it takes a village but the villagers shouldn’t run the show with pitchforks. Stand down, people!

So there you have it. Everything is important and nothing is important. Do your best out there and wing it. That’s what the rest of us are doing even if you’re convinced we’re not. We have no clue what’s going on. Just like our mothers.

This post was created in partnership with Walmart, because moms who’ve been there, shop at Walmart. Walmart has literally everything a mom needs right in one place including their Parent’s Choice line for extra savings. Plus with voice ordering from Google Home, ordering online with free two-day shipping, and Pick Up Today, it’s easier than ever to get what you need, fast.

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