Why You Shouldn't Give A F**k About Fashion Rules

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I know a woman in her 60s who rocks an undercut and wears huge earrings. She is stunning. She certainly didn’t wake up on her 50th birthday, and say “Well, fuck, I am too old to wear what I want now, please pass the polyester pants and housecoat.”

She is unapologetically herself. She owns every inch, she doesn’t need permission, and she doesn’t care what Sally from the country club is wearing. She is so busy being her own saucy self, she doesn’t have the time to worry about being on fleek. More importantly, she doesn’t give a fuck.

As far as I am concerned, you can take your fashion do’s and don’ts and shove them up your doo-doo hole. If you feel sexy in something, that is what you should be wearing despite what fashionistas around the world are saying.

God forbid we wear horizontal stripes if we aren’t a size 00 because it might make us look like we have a curvy body. And let’s get something straight right now, leggings are pants, and I will wear those fuckers all day with my favorite flannel, then to bed at night because leggings make me feel like a dangerous woman and I like it. I don’t follow rules. I go rogue and wear whatever the fuck I want.

Trying to stay in a certain box when it comes to fashion is about as much fun as cleaning the toilet. Wearing what you please regardless of how many years you have walked the earth or how many kids you have is freeing. And if you want to “accidentally” wear that tiara to the grocery store — the one your daughter made you wear to her tea party — strut it out, girl. The truth is you will make more people smile than not.

I hear women say, “I’m too old to wear this,” or “Should a mother really wear that?” The last time I checked, women didn’t come with an expiration date. No one is telling you to put down the overalls and back away slowly — there is no crime being committed here. If you have fun with clothes, makeup, and hair, don’t suppress that side of yourself. The older you are, the better you get, so really, this motherfucking party is just getting started.

Just because you become a mother, or have grown older, doesn’t mean you are supposed to dismiss who you were before. And sometimes what we wear is a reminder of how we felt when we were a teenager and pulled on our favorite jeans, or when we were 23 and had the luxury of getting our hair done without hiring a babysitter, and damn, it feels good.

If you want to throw on a blazer and wear heels with your yoga pants because you don’t have time to change after your workout but want to dress up for your ladies’ luncheon, you do it. The bonus here is you can overeat, because yoga pants.

If you adore those over-the-knee boots with a pair of skinnies or your favorite leather number, wear them. Who cares if you look like Julia Roberts circa Pretty Woman. If you are gonna look like a whore, at least look like one who makes $500 an hour.

Be so fabulous that you can rock a beanie whenever you want, even if it’s 75 degrees outside. Wear heels to the grocery store. You love your moto boots with a fancy dress and leather jacket, fuck yeah! Do it up.

I once read in a magazine you shouldn’t wear a miniskirt after 35. What kind of fuckery is that? So, basically, once we turn 35, nobody wants to see our legs? That is really doing this world a disservice. Have you seen Halle Barry’s legs? And what about all the sexy women who are shorter and feel like the are drowning when they wear a long skirt or dress?

Women come in many different, beautiful forms. How boring it would be if we all wore the same momiform day in and day out. Be trendy, be classic, wear something simple, buy something you love even if you haven’t seen anyone else wear it yet. Let your style reflect who you are, and don’t let your kids, your friends, or your favorite magazines tell you any different.

If you think you should skip out on new trends because you are a mom, or think you are past your prime (you are not past your prime), think again. Who writes these rules anyway? And more importantly, why do we even feel the need to listen?

Wear what you want. If you love the way you feel when you put something on your body, that is reason enough to keep doing it. After all, confidence is always in style. Work it, girl.

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