40 Hilarious 'Bridesmaids' Quotes For Every Girl Gang

40 ‘Bridesmaids’ Quotes For Every Maid Of Dishonor To Laugh At

February 13, 2020 Updated February 24, 2020

bridesmaids
Universal Studios

Bridesmaids was the most hilarious movie to come out of 2011. With a stellar comedic cast (led by the fantastic Kristen Wiig), the movie gave us the ultimate slash dysfunctional girl group we wanted our bridal party to mirror. Whether you’re single, married, you have kids or you don’t, there’s a Bridesmaids character you’ll find relatable AF. And most relatable of all, none of them really have their shit figured out.

We’ve compiled a list of our favorite Bridesmaids quotes that crack us all the way up. Some are pulled from hilarious scenes with Wiig’s Annie and Rose Byrne’s Helen as they compete to be the bff of Lillian (Maya Rudolph). Others come from the sitcom-friendly Chris O’Dowd (as Officer Rhodes), Ellie Kemper (as childish Becca), and Wendi McLendon-Covey (as frustrated housewife Rita). And of course, the list would be incomplete without one-liners from the supporting star of the movie, Melissa McCarthy (as the hysterically direct-but-inspiring Megan).

Read on and get giggling at these laugh-out-loud funny Bridesmaids quotes. As Rebel Wilson’s Brynn would say, it’s “fo’ free.”

Annie

Woman on Plane: “I had a dream last night that we went down.”
Annie: “Oh God.”
Woman on Plane: “You were in it.”
Annie: “What?”
“I’m ready to paaaaaartay!”
“It’s a good tub. I slept there for my 30th birthday.”
“This is the first time I’ve seen you look ugly, and that makes me kinda happy.”

Flight Attendant: “You have 3 seconds to get back to your seat.”
Annie: “No one can get anywhere in 3 seconds. You’re setting me up for a loss already.”

“Ooh, this a very strict plane. Welcome to Germany! Aufwiedersein Asshole.”

“Help me, I’m poor.”
(mocking) “My name is Helen. You live in Milwaukee? Oh, I’m sorry. Have you met Lillian? She’s my best friend. I know we’ve only known each other for five minutes.”
Annie: “You read my journal?”
Brynn: “At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.”
bridesmaid quotes
Universal Studios

Megan

“He’s my brother, I love him, but he’s a fucking asshole.”
“I need the toilet, I need the toilet! Look away, LOOK AWAY! It’s coming out of me like HOT LAVA!”
“Female fight club. We grease up, we pull in. Lillian doesn’t know so it’s ‘Surprise, we’re going to fight!’ We beat the shit out of her.”
“I’m glad he’s single because I’m going to climb that like a tree.”
“I put a loaded gun in Dougie’s carry-on, the TSA is going to just rip his ass apart.”
“Hey not Air marshal John, wanna go back in that Restroom and not rest?”
“Nope, physically I don’t bloat. It’s a gift.”
“You feel that steam heat? That’s from my undercarriage.”

Lillian

“Why can’t you be happy for me, and then go home and talk about me behind my back like a normal person?”
“This is such a stone-cold pack of weirdos, and I am so proud!”
“I went to the fucking salon with her and got my asshole bleached, too. And I love my new asshole!”
“Ya know what Teri? I don’t want to pick up your monkey lamps. Sorry.”
“I just shit in the street.”
“Oh, did you let him sleep over IN YOUR MOUTH?…Annie!”

Helen

“I look ugly?” (Laughing and crying) “No I don’t. I don’t really look ugly.”

“I think people only ask me to do their weddings because I’m good at organizing parties.”

“Please join us for a Parisian brunch at the home of Helen Harris III to celebrate the marriage of Lillian Donovan and Douglas Price. Let us ‘shower’ Lillian with gifts and love. Responde S’il Vous Plait. Yay!”

“She can have my seat. Everyone should experience first class in their lives and I don’t want Annie to miss out just because she couldn’t afford a ticket.”

Annie: “She’s not really that into sports. Even when we were little, she didn’t like anything too competitive.”
Helen: “Well she certainly enjoys tennis now. It’s funny how people change, isn’t it?”
Annie: “I don’t know, do people really change?”
Helen: “I think they do.”
Annie: “But they still stay who they are, pretty much.”
Helen: “I think we change all the time.”
Annie: “I think we stay the same, but grow a little bit.”
Helen: “I think if you’re growing, then you’re changing.”
Annie: “But we’re not changing from who we are, which we always stay as.”
Helen: “Not really, I don’t think so.”

Officer Rhodes

“You’re like the maid of dishonor!”

Annie: “He was my boyfriend. But then he left when the business went under.”
Officer Rhodes: “You’re kidding. What a dick. I’m glad I never tipped him.”

“This is kind of high octane stuff that really made me want to become a cop. Missing girl found at her apartment…it’s adrenaline pinching.”

“Hello Helen, I’ve heard wonderful things.”

“Funny thing about brake lights. You’re supposed to have them.”

Rita

“The other night I’m slaving away making a beautiful dinner for my family, my youngest boy comes in and says he wants to order a pizza. I said no, we’re not ordering pizza tonight. He goes, ‘mom, why don’t you go and fuck yourself!’ He’s nine!”

“I cracked a blanket in half.  Do you get where I’m going with that? I cracked it, in half.”

(To her kids) “Hey! Shut your filthy fucking mouths!”

Becca

“You smell like pine needles, and have a face like sunshine!”

Becca: “We went on a sweetheart honeymoon.”
Annie: “Where’d you guys go?”
Becca: “Disneyworld.”

“I’m Becca. This is my husband. You don’t have a husband. Sorry.”

“What about a Pixar themed shower? And we all come dressed as our favorite Pixar character?”

Bridesmaids quotes
Universal Studios

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