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60 Clever Chemistry Puns And One-Liners You'll Want To Use Periodically

by Team Scary Mommy
Updated: 
Originally Published: 
chemistry puns, little girl in chemistry lab
Blend Images - JGI/Jamie Grill/ Getty

Puns are a very underrated form of humor — especially when they’re related to science. Whether you loved chemistry in school, or work in the field as an adult, you’ll appreciate these funny plays on words. And if you’re a kid, you’re going to lava these quips. Here are 25 chemistry puns, smart jokes, one-liners, and even hard riddles to lighten the mood in the lab.

RELATED: We’ve Got Our Ion These Fun Chemistry Gifts For Kids And Grownups

NBC

  1. I use chemistry puns, but only periodically.
  2. Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.
  3. Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
  4. How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?
  5. Gold is the best element because it’s AU-some.
  6. Salt made a pun joke and it was Sodium funny.
  7. Keep your ion the prize.
  8. I think that angry flask completely overreacted.
  9. Lose an electron? Gotta keep an ion it.
  10. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
  11. You’re too angry — you need to molecule off.
  12. I can’t remember that element, but it’s on the tip of my tungsten.
  13. The proton is not speaking to the other proton, he’s mad atom.
  14. Chemists are so happy in the lab because they’re in their element.
  15. Make like a proton and stay positive.
  16. It’s morning time, up and atom!
  17. Do you have 11 protons? Because you’re sodium cute.
  18. That’ll be $5 for the electrons, but the neutrons are free of charge.
  19. You can take all your bad chemistry puns and barium.
  20. May the [mass times acceleration] be with you.
  21. You think you’re a 10? On the pH scale, maybe — because you’re basic.
  22. When people campaigned for Reagan, they wanted others to electron.
  23. I wanted to post a chemistry pun, but I couldn’t zinc of anything.
  24. Chill, bro. It’s called ChemisTRY, not ChemiSUCEED.
  25. I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.
  26. When I’m making chemistry, I’m in my element.
  27. That was sodium funny I slapped my neon.
  28. I have so many chemistry jokes, but I’m afraid I won’t get a good reaction.
  29. What is the most important rule in chemistry? Don’t lick the spoon.
  30. Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, “AU, get outta here.”
  31. What is the chemical formula for coffee? CoFe2.
  32. What is the chemical formula for banana? BaNa2
  33. Anyone know any jokes about salt? Na.
  34. A barometer walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I need a drink, I’m under a lot of pressure.”
  35. You’re too angry, go molecule off.
  36. Good morning! Time to work! Up and atom.
  37. What is the formula for a cat in chemistry? An ion with a paw-sitive charge.
  38. I make bad chemistry puns. Periodically.
  39. I Sulfur when you Argon.
  40. When chemists die they Barium.
  41. “What do you do with a dead chemist?” [Ba]
  42. I once tried to tell a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
  43. Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says “We don’t serve your kind around here.” Argon doesn’t react.
  44. Did you hear Oxygen and Magnesium are dating? OMg
  45. Do I know any jokes about Sodium? Na
  46. Jokes about Heavy elements? All I could think of was U
  47. Organic Chemistry is difficult. Everyone who studies is has Alkynes of trouble.
  48. Do you have any sodium hypobomite? NaBrO
  49. Why is the world so diverse? It’s made up of alkynes of people!
  50. How can you tell when an Organometallic is drunk? It’s epoxicated.
  51. Chemistry is killing me. Anytime I do a Diels-Alder reaction, I think I’m diene!
  52. Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the medical elements? Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!
  53. Did you hear about the dinosaurs? They Ar-gon
  54. The tepid flask has been under reacting lately.
  55. What is the most important rule in chemistry? Don’t befriend the lab mice.
  56. H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.

  1. Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?

How did it go? It went OK2!

  1. Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They’re cheaper than day rates.

  1. What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI

  1. What is the chemical formula for “coffee”?

CoFe2

Related: 100+ Nerdy Science Jokes For The Little Genius In Your Life

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