I first started getting botox when I was 44. Next came the lip fillers. Having these things done didn’t make me feel like someone else. They made me feel like myself again. It never crossed my mind to hide any of this from my teenage kids until a friend asked me what I told my kids when I went to my injector. I told her I tell them I get my lines botoxed out and I’m obsessed with lip filler.
Then, when I decided to get a breast lift last summer, I heard it from more people:
“What are you going to tell your kids?!”
I told my children I was getting my boobs lifted because I wanted to; that years of having babies and nursing made me not like my boobs, and I wanted to like them again. I refuse to lie or hide these things from my children because:
Kids are smart and I don’t have the steam to hide this from them.
I don’t know how else to say it. They will know if you’ve done something to your face and body. They are observant and I’d rather come out and say, “I’m getting botox today so I might be a bit bruised when you see me,” rather than not say anything and try to cover the marks with makeup. Honestly, I don’t have the energy.
I teach my kids they are autonomous and can do what they want with their body.
My daughter loves piercings and changing her hair color. She likes how the change makes her feel.
My sons have worn nail polish, and my oldest pierced his ears. I’ve taught them they are allowed to do what they want with their body (although there are age limits on things like nose jobs and tattoos for a reason).
How can I preach that to them yet go get my boobs lifted, or my lips plumped and lie to them about it? That’s teaching them if they want to change something about themselves, they should be ashamed to share it with anyone.
I want to teach my kids you can love yourself and want to change something about yourself too.
The two aren’t mutually exclusive. I love my body and what it’s done for me. However, I don’t like what gravity did to my boobs and I wanted them back. You are allowed to better yourself, period.
It’s not bad if your mental health is improved by doing something to your appearance.
Listen, I’m happier when I look in the mirror and I am comfortable with my reflection. It doesn’t make me vain, it doesn’t mean I’m obsessed with my appearance either. If getting rid of loose skin, wrinkles, or having something lifted or tucked makes you a better version of yourself then it’s no one else’s business.
There’s a difference between feeling pressured by society and wanting to do it for you.
This is something I want to teach my kids. My boobs are small, I have cellulite, I could probably use some tightening in the neck area. These are things I’m fine with and don’t feel like I need to fix simply because I see flawless images of bodies on social media, or on television all the time.
My crows feet. 11s, and low breasts really affected my self esteem so I fixed those things for me, and only me.
I’m happier after doing these things. I know it, my kids know it and we are all reaping those benefits.