Drew Barrymore is here to clear the air: her choice to abstain from sex has nothing to do with whether or not she likes it and everything to do with her healing journey.
The longtime actress and TV host recently shared a new blog post, where she writes a beautiful reflection on what celibacy means to her, at the age of 48 and why it is an important chapter in her life right now.
“The other day, I walked into a workout class, and this woman said, “you look just like Drew Barrymore except for you look like you have mental wellness, and besides …she hates sex!” she started the post.
She goes on to explain that she has lived a very full life, starting from a very ‘tender’ age, but that she sees things differently now.
“After two kids and a separation from their father that has made me cautious, I have had the pleasure of shifting my focus when it comes to love for myself and my two daughters,” she continued. “I know that does not include a man, nor has it for a while. I’ve come to realize through working in therapy (with Barry) [that] he said something, and I had to write it down. He said, “Sex is not love! It is the expression of love.” I have searched my whole life to have words like that to help me understand the difference, and now, thanks to him, I do.”
“Since entering life as a single mom, I have not been able to have an intimate relationship. I have had the honor and a pleasure to actually work on myself and learn what parenting is, again something I was not exactly clear on growing up, and I’ve had many learning curves thrown my way. I’ve been intimidated. I’ve been triumphant. I’ve been asked to be educated in every way I can be. The truth is, it’s different for every family and every individual, but I have had to try and find my own way,” she wrote. “I’m also raising two daughters, so how we raise girls to be appropriate and empowered and to love themselves.”
Though she admits she is open to a relationship in the near future, it’s just not a priority for her at this time. “Some people can get out of a marriage or relationship and in the near future find themselves in another relationship. There is nothing wrong with that! Not one bit. I do not judge! I celebrate their journey! Because for some people, that really works. It didn’t work for me. I needed to stay very celibate and honoring and in some sort of state of morning of the loss of a nuclear family that I swore I would have for my daughters and to find grace and acceptance and what our new normal of a blended family would be. It took time. I’m proud of myself that I took that time.”
Barrymore began dating art consultant Will Kopelman in 2011 and the pair married in the summer of 2012. They have two daughters together, Olive, 10, and Frankie, 8. They announced their separation in 2016, and since then, Drew hasn’t publicly dated anyone.
She may not be currently reeling it in in the love department, but Drew is far from boring. “But don’t forget I’m a naughty monkey who is rebellious and weird and comedic and wacky and doesn’t judge others and really doesn’t want anyone highly involved in my choices when it comes to this vulnerable subject, but because I’ve been an open book my whole life, but here we are!”
And that is the very reason why I — and so many people — love Drew Barrymore.
You can read her full blog, “Rebels Who Love,” on her website.