From The Confessional: It's Not A Freaking Vacation, It's A Trip — Here's Why

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 

The word vacation… it sounds like heaven, doesn’t it? The images that come to mind—whether it’s a quiet cabin the mountains, a few days at the beach, or even trekking through Disney. All you can hope for is some laughter, a few good pics, and relaxation at some point.

Unless you have kids, that it is. Then the joke’s on you, because it’s not really a vacation anymore. Now, it’s a trip. An expensive one. And one that will leave you even more exhausted than before you left. Also, if you’re super duper lucky, you get to travel with your in-laws too and listen to your MIL micromanage everyone and whine about how your kids don’t behave.

Soooooo relaxing.

So yeah, if you’re lighting money on fire, bickering with your SO, and counting the minutes until your kids pass out later—except you’re just doing it in another city—sounds like you’re on a family vaca! Parenthood is neat, isn’t it?

My mother is already bugging us about a big family trip next summer, trips with them are stressful just not interested... we’re going to Disney and spending enough to not listen to you bicker or be paranoid about kids near the water when we’re watching!!!

Confessional #25842313

My SIL is pushing HARD for us and them to go on a vacation together this summer- sorry SIL, but you're a mega Karen ultra bitch, BIL is a boring AF, self absorbed idiot and your kids are annoying fucking brats- NOT.GONNA.HAPPEN!

Confessional #25839547

First big family vacation. Me, my husband & kids, my parents, my sister & her BF & my brother. It will be our first and last. Mom is a control freak & is making us all miserable. We are taking our kids & doing what we want for the rest of the trip.

Confessional #25838536

It's been SO nice not seeing SIL & BIL during covid, but now that things are opening up SIL is RABID about getting together & is pushing for a vacation together- HARD PASS! I'd rather get a root canal in every tooth then spend a week with those assholes.

Confessional #25838395

Vacationing with your own family is tiring enough, but add in extended family and now you’re just regretting every life decision you’ve ever made.

Planning and saving for a big family vacation. Praying like hell that teen step daughter doesn't end up coming, she'd make it her mission to act like an entitled brat and ruin the entire thing while facetiming her bitch mom the whole time.

Confessional #25839080

I’m drinking wine alone on our “family vacation bc SD16 will throw a fit if DH hangs out with me instead of her. Sad that DH is in the middle, but I’m sick of having to suck it up bc she’s just a kid. Poor guy can’t win.”

Confessional #25838926

1st vaccinated vacation. I forgot that vacations with kids (3 & 12) are completely shitty. Pretty much only want to travel with DH from now on. Taking the kids sucks. Sleepless toddler, whiney tween. Fuck it.

Confessional #25842310

When they’re little and exhausting, you might (foolishly) think, “Trips will get better when they’re older.” FALSE. Teenagers are more expensive, but just as whiny.

Vacation ends tomorrow. H took his the same time as me and it’s ruined mine. I needed one or two days alone. I feel exhausted.

Confessional #25841861

Stopped deep cleaning a month ago, hoping someone would pick up the slack. Nope! Now I get to spend my vacation day rage cleaning because no one but me does shit around here. And h wants me to cut the grass today too. Haha fuck you

Confessional #25841466

Two days before we leave for vacation, H asks what else is there to do besides sit on the beach b/c he doesn't like that. Why is he bringing it up now. He should just stay home. DC and I can go and we'll have a great time w/o him.

Confessional #25840768

And if it’s not your kids making your vacation 100% non-vacationy, it’s your partner. Why can’t Mom catch a break? Like ever?

I don't want to go on vacation with the kids. I want to relax, dammit.

Confessional #25840435

Parents should automatically be given a second (childfree) vacation the minute they return from vacation with their children.

Confessional #25838793

I swear to God one of my kids get sick either the night before or the first night of every vacation we’ve ever planned. There goes our 4th of July. Uuugh.

Confessional #25838617

The cold hard truth is, if you truly need to relax, you need someone else to come get your kids. Vacationing with them might mean fun memories and lots of cute pics and endless souvenirs they begged you for, but it means zero rest. Like zero.

I will never vacation with "girls" again. Locations full of fake things, full of fake people, having fake experiences. Ugh, pass.

Confessional #25841404

So once again to we're paying equal amounts in the vacation rental, but we get stuck with the pull out couch. How is this fair?

Confessional #25841216

I’m 30 and nearly every camping trip or vacation I’ve ever had, I’ve had my period!!!!! Whyyyyyyyyy

Confessional #25840532

So far, edibles are the only thing keeping me sane on this “vacation.”

Confessional #25840183

And then there’s lots of other factors to contend with—getting stuck on a shitty pull-out couch that gives you backaches, getting your period, or bitchy girlfriends who make you feel like you’re in 7th grade all over again. None of these sound like the dreamy vacation you envisioned. WTF.

There’s a reason we all still do it, though. We still love capturing the joy on our kids’ faces when they see Disney princesses or ride the waves at the beach or curl up on a tent in the mountains. And yeah, it might mean we have to stomach sightseeing the Grand Canyon with our bitchy in-laws. I guess we’ll rest when they kids are grown and Grandma’s too old to come with us.

Until then, better pack those edibles.

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