From The Confessional: We Have So Many Feelings About The 4th Of July

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 
We Have So Many Feelings About The 4th Of July
Trent Yarnell/Unsplash

Whether you go all out and spend a month’s worth of grocery funds on fireworks, buy matching red, white, and blue outfits for your kids, and party until dawn, or whether you quietly wish July 4th would come and go and you invest in high-quality ear plugs to drown out the noise… you cannot deny that America comes to life on July 4th. Sometimes that “coming to life” means a renewed sense of patriotism and love for the great lands that stretch from “sea to shining sea.” Other times “coming to life” means hospital visits when drunken Roman candle games go awry and angry toddlers and dogs freaking the fuck out, ruining any and all chance of Mom enjoying her “patriotic” cocktail she found on Pinterest.

This year, however, isn’t the same. We’re living through a pandemic, so lots of BBQs and town parades are canceled and Americans are frantically trying to figure out if Amazon delivers sparklers or not so their kids can still play with fire and feel festive. Black Americans still struggle to have their voices heard and still cannot live safely, without prejudice, without having police unnecessarily called on them for living.

So maybe you’re disappointed that annual July 4th festivities aren’t happening, or maybe you’re relieved and looking forward to a quiet day without those dreaded fireworks that make your dog shit on the rug. Maybe you still feel a strong sense of love for this country, despite its brokenness. Or maybe you’re feeling nothing but disappointment and frustration and have no desire to honor a holiday that glorifies the founding of our nation by a bunch of white, slave-owning men.

Whatever your feelings are about the anniversary of our country officially declaring its independence, there’s likely someone in our confessional who feels the same.

Feeling so conflicted about 4th of July this year. There is no good solution to be found.

Confessional #25787090

Feeling like a fraud for the 4th of July this yr. Its always my favorite and I'm barely looking forward to it. The state of this country is just something else these days. So sad & embarrassed for the USA.

Confessional #25787041

My neighbor quietly put up American flags for the 4th of July. They are accompanied by a BLM sign. I think she is brave.

Confessional #25786497

Last night fireworks kept finding their way in my back yard. I almost walked into one as it exploded and I was holding my 10mo daughter. Low key worried it's because of us being a mixed family.

Confessional #15171655

We can love the United States and be proud Americans. But we must still continue to fight for Black Americans who deserve the right to live and are often not afforded that right, even today, in 2020. Especially on July 4, when we celebrate being “the land of the free.”

Just got done filling up a patriotic pinata with candy. My kids may miss out on normal 4th of July festivities this year, but with a little planning we're still going to make it fun. I want their memories of this time to be positive.

Confessional #25784814

Pouring rain on July 4th. Building Legos and doing art project with DS9, baby is napping hardcore, DH doing ribs on the grill under the shed awning. Reading fun novel. No crowds, loud fireworks. Good sex after kids go to bed. Life is good. I feel lucky.

Confessional #15134783

Despite the state of our nation, there is still lots of positivity to be found this July 4th, and that’s inspiring.

My wife slid her hand up my shorts when the fireworks started and flicked my bean until I nearly came. My entire family was there, no including my kids and my parents! Can't wait to finish later, she's an amazing lover!!

Confessional #24891815

To celebrate this fourth of July, I gave myself a phenomenal orgasm in my husband's study. Fireworks, indeed.

Confessional #24887119

And some who feel the fireworks in the bedroom too. To which we say, GET IT.

Fireworks. I used to love them. Now I have kids...

Confessional #25763477

Fuck fireworks, and fuck the people who woke up my 3yo with them tonight.

Confessional #25280149

If one more person tells me my sensory integration disorder kid is "normal" they can fucking deal with him screaming, crying and threatening to light ppl on fire because of 4th of July fireworks.

Confessional #16160098

Took DS4 to the fireworks tonight. Loud booms made him cry uncontrollably then he made in his pants cause he was scared. I thought people always joked about scaring the shit out of someone. Never knew it could really happen. #disaster

Confessional #15147487

I used to love and look forward to 4th of July fireworks. Now I see them as yet another thing that wakes the baby up. Why does motherhood have to rob me of ALL joyful experiences?!?

Confessional #15107067

However, the irritation for this day runs deep, especially among parents of young children. You see, 4th of July, for many of us, used to be fun. Then we had kids. Kids who make everything harder. Who make everything exhausting. And who make us want to give in and say, “whatever, never mind, it’s not worth trying,” just put on some damn Peppa Pig, stay in our pjs, and pretend it’s not even happening.

Can we be done with fireworks now?

Confessional #24889790

My neighbors keeps lighting off fireworks and it's almost midnight. Some of us have to work on Sunday so can they fucking stop. I hate people.

Confessional #24936423

And it’s not just the kids. Some of us are just crotchety old adults who just want to fucking sleep.

Bunch of assholes with their screens over their heads, in my face, FILMING fireworks instead of WATCHING fireworks. Same assholes who film dark rides at amusement park, lit-up screens spoiling the effect for everyone else. Did I say ASSHOLES?!

Confessional #25737811

Put your effing cell phone down and enjoy the fireworks. They will be crap pics or vids that you will post on social media anyway.

Confessional #15155634

Stop doing this. You look ridiculous, you’ll never watch this video again, and literally no one wants to see it on IG.

In-laws came out to see our towns fireworks last night but it stormed. Show was rescheduled for Friday, they want to come back and watch with us. FUCK NO. You had your holiday/birthday crap, not our fault the weather was bad. See you at Thanksgiving!

Confessional #15173203

We got invited to an awesome private fireworks show tonight and DH just had to call and invite his parents to go with us. Now I dont want to go. He is in his 40s why can't we not spend every day with his parents?

Confessional #15134879

And the 4th, like every other holiday, makes us remember how much we can’t stand our in-laws. (Like we needed a reminder.)

My ode to the 4th of July is "Fuck patriotism, we haven't had a functioning government in 40 years, this country has been circling the drain since Reagan took office, and anyone who doesn't know that is an idiot." Then fireworks and beer, b/c why not.

Confessional #15140903

Nothing could make me patriotic about living in this country. And all I think of when I hear fireworks is bombs, guns and war. 20 years of pointless, illegal, insane, war.

Confessional #15146844

Some of us are just flat not feeling it this year, and don’t know when we will again. Hopefully in 2021 if both COVID-19 and this horrendous administration have been purged from our lives. Then maybe we’ll be ready to don our red, white, and blue tie-die again and host a big BBQ and make festive watermelon margaritas and let our kids stay up late to see the town fireworks even if that means they’ll be angry honey badgers the next day.

But for this year, 2020 is pretty much canceled.

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