70 Perfect Autumn Quotes & Jokes Too Funny To Be-Leaf

Is there a more glorious time of year than autumn? The weather finally breaks, and you can go outside without melting into a pool of your own sweat. The leaves on the trees turn fabulous fiery shades of yellow, red, and orange. Starbucks brings back the PSL and football season kicks into high gear. Plus, you get to pick out new Halloween costumes! What more could one ask for?

If you’re a lover of all things autumn, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve rounded up the best quotes, jokes, and puns that really nail the spirit of fall. And if you’re looking for even more autumnal fun, we also have lists of Halloween, ghost, and pumpkin jokes. While they would totally fit here (and we’ve snuck some in), this round is particularly for more autumn-esque moments. Ready? Set? Enjoy!

Fall Jokes

1. Why did the tree worry that he would never get his leaves back after autumn? He didn’t be-leaf in himself!
2. Why was the robot couple’s anniversary in the fall? They were autumn mated.
3. What month does every tree dread? Sept-timberrrrrrr!
4. What did the leaf say to autumn? I’m falling for you!
5. What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.
6. What type of vehicle should you use for a fall hayride? An autumn-mobile.
7. Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? He was out-standing in his field.
8. Why did the lions move at the end of summer? The pride goeth before the fall.
9. Why are trees so carefree and easygoing? Because every fall, they let loose.
10. Did you hear about the tree that deserted the forest at the end of fall? He was absent without leaves!
11. How does an elephant get out of a tree? It sits on a leaf and waits till autumn.
12. What did autumn say to summer? “Make like a tree and leave!”
13. Why did Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
14. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
15. Why do trees hate going back to school in the fall? Because they’re easily stumped.
16. What do you call a large colorful pile of leaves? The Great Barrier Leaf.
17. Why do birds fly south in the fall? Because it’s too far to walk.
18. How do trees get online? They just log in.
19. What do you call a dude who really likes autumn? A fall guy!
20. What kind of vest should you wear in the fall? A har-vest.
21. What is the cutest season? Awwtumn.
22. What do you give to a pumpkin who is trying to quit smoking? A pumpkin patch!
23. Why is it so easy to trick leaves in October? They’re always falling for things.
24. What’s a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? Straw-berries.
25. How do you make a giant pile of leaves disappear? Hand a toddler a rake and walk away.
26. What did the tree say when autumn ended? “Well, that’s a wrap.”
27. Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.

Pumpkin Spice Puns and Silliness

1. I love pumpkin spice a latte.
2. Pumpkin spice and chill.
3. Let’s pumpkin spice things up.
4. Sorry I’m latte; I had to get my pumpkin spice.
5. Don’t even chai to talk to me until I’ve had my Pumpkin Spice Latte.
6. Unless it’s pumpkin spice, I don’t give a frapp.
7. Oh my gourd, I love pumpkin spice.
8. Basic witches drink Pumpkin Spice Lattes.
9. Pumpkin spice and everything nice.
10. You’re the pumpkin spice to my latte.
11. It’s the most wonderful spice of the year.
12. Pumpkin spice: because “basic” is a compliment, actually.
13. Spice, spice, baby.

Autumn Quotes

1. “Go, sit upon the lofty hill, And turn your eyes around, Where waving woods and waters wild Do hymn an autumn sound. The summer sun is faint on them — The summer flowers depart — Sit still — as all transform’d to stone, Except your musing heart.” — Elizabeth Barrett Browning
2. “It’s the first day of autumn! A time of hot chocolatey mornings, and toasty marshmallow evenings, and, best of all, leaping into leaves!” — Winnie The Pooh
3. “Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.” — Albert Camus
4. “And all at once, summer collapsed into fall.” — author unknown
5. “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.” — Lucy Maud Montgomery
6. “Autumn… the year’s last, loveliest smile.” — William Cullen Bryant
7. “Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting, and autumn a mosaic of them all.” — Stanley Horowitz
8. “How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.” — John Burroughs
9. “Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald
10. “Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree.” — Emily Brontë
11. “And all the lives we ever lived and all the lives to be are full of trees and changing leaves…” — Virginia Woolf
12. “It looked like the world was covered in a cobbler crust of brown sugar and cinnamon.” — Sarah Addison Allen
13. “I would rather sit on a pumpkin, and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion.” — Henry David Thoreau
14. “Spring passes and one remembers one’s innocence. Summer passes and one remembers one’s exuberance. Autumn passes and one remembers one’s reverence. Winter passes and one remembers one’s perseverance.” — Yoko Ono
15. “Autumn is the hardest season. The leaves are all falling, and they’re falling like they’re falling in love with the ground.” — Andrea Gibson
16. “No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace as I have seen in one autumnal face.” — John Donne
17. “Autumn is as joyful and sweet as an untimely end.” — Rémy de Gourmont
18. “Fall has always been my favorite season. The time when everything bursts with its last beauty, as if nature had been saving up all year for the grand finale.” — Lauren DeStefano
19. “Love the trees until their leaves fall off, then encourage them to try again next year.” — Chad Sugg
20. “I was drinking in the surroundings: air so crisp you could snap it with your fingers and greens in every lush shade imaginable offset by autumnal flashes of red and yellow.” — Wendy Delsol
21. “There is something incredibly nostalgic and significant about the annual cascade of autumn leaves.” — Joe L. Wheeler
22. “The heat of autumn is different from the heat of summer. One ripens apples, the other turns them to cider.” — Jane Hirshfield
23. “Is not this a true autumn day? Just the still melancholy that I love — that makes life and nature harmonize.” — George Eliot
24. “I cannot endure to waste anything so precious as autumnal sunshine by staying in the house.” — Nathaniel Hawthorne
25. “Autumn carries more gold in its pocket than all the other seasons.” — Jim Bishop
26. “October, baptize me with leaves! Swaddle me in corduroy and nurse me with split pea soup.” — Rainbow Rowell
27. “There is a harmony in autumn, and a lustre in its sky.” — Percy Bysshe Shelley
28. “Autumn is the mellower season, and what we lose in flowers we more than gain in fruits.” — Samuel Butler
29. “In the entire circle of the year, there are no days so delightful as those of a fine October.” — Alexander Smith
30. “Autumn leaves don’t fall, they fly. They take their time and wander on this, their only chance to soar.” — Delia Owens

Happy fall, y’all!