I Was Intimidated By American Eagle As A Teen & Now It’s Where I Buy My Mom Clothes

I was not a tween or teen who knew a lot about “style” or “fashion” growing up. I liked what I liked, and that was it. Some days that meant wearing a t-shirt with the Genie from Aladdin on it, and some days that meant wearing a fuzzy blue sweater and purple pleather pants. I loved going into Gadzooks and Wet Seal, and I felt most comfortable wandering around Limited Too, with my mom.

But I really wanted to be an American Eagle girly.

In the early aughts, American Eagle was the pinnacle of cool girl fashion. It felt like the less intense version of Abercrombie & Fitch and Hollister, stores I was far too terrified to walk into without a group of friends to soften my insecurities. And while I had a few graphic tees from there, a pair of shoes, some accessories, I wanted nothing more than to be able to walk into American Eagle and buy everything I pointed at.

But I never felt cool enough for it — for American Eagle, for Abercrombie & Fitch, for Hollister. I always felt out of place. I was convinced that all the teens who worked there were staring at me, and embarrassed that the clothes my friends seemed to wear every single day were too expensive for my family.

So, finding that these brands hit the exact sweet spot for me as a 36-year-old mom of three? It’s pretty empowering.

It helps that American Eagle has changed from what it was back in the early 2000s. Honestly, all of those “cool kid” stores have now. There doesn’t seem to be quite the push to be skinny like there was back then in all of the magazines and TV shows and music videos we consumed as teens. Aerie, American Eagle’s sister brand of intimates, swim, and more, was one of the first brands to straight-up say they would no longer edit images of models in their advertising. They went for “real” bodies and sizes and shapes, taking a store synonymous in the ‘90s and 2000s with perfection and making it feel more attainable to everyone.

Especially those of us who were always too intimidated to shop there as tweens.

Now, those same brands are also leaning heavily on nostalgia to stay afloat through ever-changing economies. Trends always come back, of course. Seeing spaghetti strap tanks and platform white sneakers on shelves will naturally make us millennials want to shop. But there’s something about how American Eagle and similar stores have taken our brand loyalty (and, let’s be real, our coveting of the brand) from when we were teens and carried it into adulthood.

Does it help that we are all still wearing fairly similar clothes to what other non-moms in their 20s and 30s are wearing? Sure, a little. But does it also help that American Eagle has become a comfort store for those of us who either loved it or were scared of it as teens? Absolutely.

There's also some ease in shopping at these stores now because the idea of a "mom wardrobe" is long gone. Mom Jeans used to be a funny sketch on Saturday Night Live, and now it's a whole style of jeans sold at Abercrombie & Fitch. High-rise is in, sensible sneakers are in, oversized sweatshirts are in... all of the things we thought made up a dorky mom uniform in the '90s are now the trend. My own kids don't look at what I buy from American Eagle and think, "Omg, that's such a mom store; I could never shop there." In the '90s, there was literally nothing about my mom's wardrobe — brown lipstick, red nails, sensible olive green slacks — I found endearing as a child.

But the "mom wardrobe" is gone. And I think society, and brands like American Eagle, have helped. "A mom outfit doesn't exist because we are reconstructing societal norms. Women are having children later in life, and the idea of a washed-up mom is out the window," Dejeuné Harris, lead stylist and founder of Your Style is Forever, tells Scary Mommy. She says that these days, the new "trend" is the "hot mom," and it's all about maintaining your identity outside the title of mom. "Think Rihanna," she says. "Women are more multifaceted now more than ever."

There is so much identity wrapped up in motherhood, sure, but I also maintain that becoming a mom helps you find your true definition underneath everything else.

Motherhood stripped away so much insecurity for me — it has given me such perspective and made me realize that so many things I once worried about were no longer important. Everything felt bigger and brighter after becoming a mom, and I already saw things big and bright. Once I became a mom, my confidence skyrocketed. Why shouldn't I go into American Eagle and buy whatever dress I want? Why shouldn't I be able to walk into Abercrombie & Fitch and try on jeans? Why shouldn't I order a bikini from Hollister for my post-three-babies body?

The brands have for sure met us where we are, but we have also met ourselves where we are. We've given ourselves more grace, we've given ourselves more love, we've given ourselves more courage. There's something so empowering for me in not only buying my own clothes at the stores that made me feel less-than as a teen, but that my own daughters can see me shopping confidently, feeling like I belong in any store I want to go into.

May they never feel not-good-enough for a clothing store. And may clothing stores continue to grow to feel inclusive of us all.

(Just please, don't bring back the low-rise jean.)