It's a Biting Good Time

50 Shark Jokes And Puns For The 'Baby Shark' Enthusiast In Your Life

Where do lonely sharks go to find companionship? Sand Bars.

by Patricia Grisafi
Originally Published: 
shark jokes and puns for kids
Image taken by Mayte Torres/ Getty Images

Let’s face it: “Baby Shark” is a fact of life. But even before the phenomena that is Pinkfong’s “Baby Shark” song became the toddler ear-worm it is today, kids — and adults alike — have been fascinated by all things shark. And we get the obsession! Sharks are not only the apex predator of the sea, but they’re also really interesting. They’ve roamed the ocean for more than 450 million years, and although they’re the tough guys of the ocean, they don’t even have bones. Their skin feels like sandpaper, and if you flip them on their back they fall into a trance. For these reasons and many more, we can’t resist shark jokes and puns!

We’re pretty sure you won’t be able to resist them, either. Why? Because your kiddos will eat these punchlines up. So, get ready to entertain your little shark enthusiast with these clean, kid-friendly shark jokes. And if that doesn’t work? You can always play that über-catchy song again.

Looking for more animal jokes? Check out our funny pages on horses, llamas, chickens, and more!

  1. What’s a shark’s favorite bible story? Noah’s Shark.
  2. What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show? Shark Trek.
  3. What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman? Frostbite.
  4. What do you call the stuff caught in a great white shark’s teeth? Slow swimmers.
  5. What kind of shark likes to gamble? A card shark.
  6. What happened when the shark got famous? He became a starfish.
  7. How did the hammerhead do on the Math exam? He nailed it.
  8. What do you get from a bad-tempered shark? As far away as possible.
  9. Why do sharks live in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze
  10. Where do sharks go on vacation? Fin-land.
  11. What do you call two sharks who get married? Hooked for life.
  12. Which candy should a shark with braces avoid? Jaw-breakers.
  13. How does a shark announce food is ready? “Hot off the gill!”
  14. Where do country singing sharks try to make it big? Gnashville.
  15. Who is the most famous shark writer? William Sharkspeare.
  16. What do you call a shark who wants to be by himself? A lone shark.
  17. What did one shark say to the other after eating a clownfish? “Not only does it look funny, but it tastes funny too.”
  18. What should you do if you see a shark? Swim away.
  19. Who gives sharks presents on Christmas? Santa Jaws.
  20. Which sharks would you find at a construction site? Hammerhead sharks.
  21. What did the shark say to the whale? “What are you blubbering about?”
  22. What is a shark’s favorite kinda sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish.
  23. What song do sharks sing while they hunt for food? “Don’t Stop Bleedin’.”
  24. What types of sharks are the shadiest sharks? Card sharks.
  25. What did the hammerhead shark say to his drinking buddies? “I’m hammered.”
  26. What lie will a shark always tell a human? “I’ll just take one bite.”
  27. What did the shark say when he was accused of hitting his brother? “Not gill-ty!”
  28. What’s a shark’s favorite movie? Shaw-shark Redemption.
  29. What did the mama shark say to the kid shark? “Watch that sharkasm, young man!”
  30. What do sharks do when they have a big choice to make? Chews wisely.
  31. What did the shark say to the other shark? “There’s some-fin special about you!”
  32. How does a shark greet a fish? “Pleased to eat you!”
  33. What do sharks order at McDonald’s? A quarter flounder with cheese.
  34. The star attraction at my local aquarium has been repossessed. Turns out it was a loan shark!
  35. Why did the shark cross the Great Barrier Reef? To get to the other tide.
  36. I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling, “Help, shark! Help!” I just laughed and laughed. I knew that shark wouldn’t help him.
  37. What happens when you mix a shark and a cow together? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t want to milk it!
  38. How much does it cost to swim with the sharks? An arm and a leg.
  39. Did you hear about the musician who borrowed money from a loan shark? He’s in a whole lot of treble.
  40. A shark, crocodile, and a giant spider walk into a bar. There’s no punchline; it’s just a normal day in Australia.
  41. I always dress up as a shark for Halloween. I think the joke’s wearing fin!
  42. I don’t understand how people get attacked by sharks. Can’t they hear the music?
  43. Can’t wait to see a Great White shark before I die. But not right before I die.
  44. Where do lonely sharks go to find companionship? Sand Bars.
  45. What do sharks have on their toast? Mermalaid.
  46. How did they know the victim of the shark attack had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders on the beach.
  47. There’s a little-known but foolproof defense against sharks. Sharks will only attack you if you’re wet.
  48. Why was the shark blushing? It saw the ocean’s bottom.
  49. What happened to shark who ate keys? It got lock-jaw.
  50. What’s a shark’s favorite cereal? Captain Crunch.

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