100+ Math Jokes And Puns That'll Arithma-tick Your Funny Bone

100+ Math Jokes And Puns That’ll Arithma-tick Your Funny Bone

October 7, 2019 Updated September 1, 2020

math jokes
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You thought math was serious business. But turns out, math jokes are totally a thing! These 100+ math jokes and puns really add up, if you know what we mean. Tell them to the kiddos next time they’re frustrated by math homework.

1. What do mathematicians like most about Halloween?

Pumpkin Pi.

2. What is a mathematician’s favorite season?

Sum-mer.

3. A talking sheepdog gets all the sheep into the pen for his farmer.

He tells the farmer: “All 70 sheep accounted!”

The farmer says, “But I’ve counted them and I’ve only got 65!”

The sheepdog replies, “Yes, but I rounded them up.”

4. I hired an odd-job man to do 8 jobs for me.

When I got back, he’d only done jobs 1, 3, 5, and 7.

5. What did one decimal say to the other?

Did you get my point?

6. Why do you never serve beer at a math party?

Because you can’t drink and derive.

7. Last night I dreamed that I was weightless. I was like, 0mg.

8. Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

To get to the same side.

7. What’s a math teacher’s favorite kind of tree?

A geometry.

8. What do you get if you cross a math teacher and a clock?

Arithma-ticks!

9. I saw Pi fighting with the square root of two the other day.

I told them to stop being so irrational.

10. Have you heard about the mathematical plant?

It has square roots.

11. How many monsters are good at math?

None, unless you Count Dracula.

12. How do you keep warm in a square room?

You go into the corner —  it’s always 90 degrees.

13. Did you know that 10 out of 9 people have difficulty with fractions?

14. Scientists have been studying aliens.

They’ve discovered that their weights are paranormally distributed.

15. Why isn’t the number 4 popular?

Because it is 2 square.

16. Why was the math book depressed?

Because it had so many problems.

17. What is a bird’s favorite type of maths?

Owl-gebra.

18. Old mathematicians never die. They just lose some of their functions.

19. What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me.

20. Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

21. What’s a mathematician’s favorite DIY tool?

Multi-plyers.

22. What is the best way to find a math tutor?

An add!

23. A student tells his math teacher, “To show you how well I understand fractions, I’ve only done half of my homework.”

24. Which king invented fractions?

Henry the eighth.

25. How many sides does a circle have?

Two – the inside and the outside.

26. Why did I divide sin by tan?

Just cos.

27. Why is the obtuse triangle always failing tests?

Because it is never right.

28. Today I saw the number 6 playing with the square root of -1.

I thought to myself, “How cute — he has an imaginary friend.”

29. Why did the student do her math homework on the floor?

The teacher told her not to use tables.

30. There are 10 types of mathematicians.

Those who know binary and those who don’t.

31. How does a math professor propose to his fiancee?

With a polynomial ring.

32. What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt.

33. Which snakes are good at math?

Adders.

34. What do math teachers eat?

Square meals.

35. What did one algebra book say to the other?

Don’t talk to me, I’ve got my own problems.

36. How does a ghost solve quadratic equations?

By completing the scare.

37. How does a mathematician plow fields?
With a pro-tractor.

38. Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?

Because it’s too gross.

39. Why did the circle do a flip?

To get in shape.

40. Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?

Its parents wouldn’t cosine.

41. Why did the mathematician get upset when his colleague called him average? 

It was a mean thing to say!

42. Why does no one want to go on a double date with 3 and 7?

Because they’re such an odd couple!

43. Why do math teachers take salsa classes?

Because they have algorithm.

44. Math puns are the first sine of madness.

45. How do deaf mathematicians communicate?

With sine language.

46. What does the mermaid wear to math class?

An algae-bra.

47. Old mathematicians never die.

They disintegrate.

48. Without geometry, life would be pointless.

49. Finding area is an integral part of calculus.

50. Why is geometry class so uncool?

Because it’s full of squares.

51.Geometry is so exhausting.

After studying it all day, I’m all out of shape.

52. What do mathematicians do after they admit they were wrong?

Eat a slice of humble Pi.

53. What happens when math teachers retire?

They have to deal with the after math.

54. What did the math teacher say when he changed his career?

It was a miscalculated move.

55. Geometry class feels senseless.

All we do is go in circles.

56. I don’t love math, but I’m partial to fractions.

57. Why did the math book get bad reviews?

It was derivative.

58. Why did the fraction get left out of the math book?

It wasn’t part of the equation.

59. Why is everyone asking the triangle for advice?

It’s a right triangle.

60. Why is the calculus teacher so fair?

They grade on a curve.

61. Why are fractions such good negotiators?

Cos they can reach across the divide.

62. Why was 11 arrested for a crime?

They were the prime suspect.

63. Why are there so many math teacher?

Because they always multiply.

64. Why are bad mathematicians so lonely?

Because they can’t count on their friends.

65. Why does math make plants uncomfortable?

It gives them square roots.

66. Why do math teachers have fireplaces?

Because they love natural logs.

67. Why do mathematicians talk so much?

They keep going off on tangents.

68. What’s a mathematician’s favorite snake?

A pi-thon.

69. What Yelp rating did the math teaching give the pie shop?

3.14

70. Why does the obtuse angle wear shorts and flip flops?

Because it’s over 90 degrees.

71. Which angle is everyone’s favorite?

Acute angle.

72. What’s the dumbest angle?

An obtuse one.

73. Don’t argue with decimals — they always have a point. 

74. Algebra — don’t ask us to find your X!

He’s not coming back and don’t ask Y!

75. What did the mathematician say when the witch removed his spell?

Hexagon!

76. Who invented the Round Table?

Sir Cumference.

77. Why did the two 4’s not go to the office dinner party?

Because they already ate!

78. What do you call a number that can’t keep still?

A roamin’ numeral.

79. You should never get into a political argument with a circle — there’s just no point!

80. Why did 7 eat 9?

Because he had to eat 3 square meals a day!

81. What surface do mathematicians work on?

On a multiplication table.

82. What is the anarchist’s favorite part of math class?

Division.

83. Why should you always wear glasses during math class?

It’s good for division.

84. Did you hear about the mathematician who lost it after he couldn’t stop adding for days?

He had an incremental breakdown.

85. Did you hear about the broke and hungry mathematician?

He could binomial.

86. Why should you never get into an argument with a 90 degree angle?

Because it’s always right.

87. Why is the equal sign so confident?

He knows he isn’t worth more or worth less than anyone else.

88. Why do mathematicians love it when it snows?

They get to make snow angles.

89. There’s 10 things you can always count on — your fingers!

90. Why is no one excited for statistics class?

It’s just so average.

91. Why did the fraction call off their wedding with the decimal?

They didn’t want to convert.

92. What’s the name of the math-loving boyband?

The Algebros.

93. How do you turn root beer into beer?

Pour it into a square cup.

94. Why is Pi not allowed to make speeches?

Because they go on forever.

95. What did the mathematician get arrested for?

An infraction.

96. There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

97. Did you hear the joke about the statistician?

Probably.

98. Did you hear about the statistician who almost drowned?

He thought he could walks across the river because it was 3 feet deep on average.

99. Do you know what’s odd?

An uneven number!

100. Why did the math teacher have so many children?

Because they were so good at multiplying!

101. I saw my math teacher with a piece of graph paper yesterday.

He must be plotting something.

102. 44% of statistics are made up.

103. What did the mathematician say when something went wrong?

Figures!

Read more jokes, puns, and one liners here.