The '90s Moms Seemed To Do It All. How?

I have never been impressed by a tote bag embroidered with “You have the same hours in a day as Beyoncé” because be so f*cking for real — no, I do not. I also have wildly different responsibilities and priorities than Queen Bey, and that’s OK. But you know what really sets a fire under my ass? Someone mentioning a ‘90s mom.

Because seriously... how the hell did the ‘90s moms do it?

I know that my own ‘90s mom thinks she didn’t do it all. She’s told me as much. When I’ve shared with her something fun I’ve done with my own girls or a long day full of activities, she always says something like, “You’re a much better mom than I ever was,” and I have to bring her back down to earth real quick. She’s the reason I learned how to be a good mom. She’s the one who taught me that everyday magic exists and that being there for your kids — being their number one fan and supporter, always — is a worthwhile life purpose.

I saw it every single day.

People talk a lot now about how moms used to do it all, and it’s always met with some kind of quantifier like, “Well, there were a lot more stay-at-home moms back then.”

On the contrary.

The rate of stay-at-home mothers started to decrease pretty steadily from the ‘60s, and while there were still stay-at-home moms, by 1999, only 23% of mothers with children under the age of 18 didn’t work. A 2003 article about stay-at-home moms actually credits the dot-com boom of the ‘90s for increasing stay-at-home moms in the early 2000s, as a single-income household became feasible again.

It’s no secret why movies and so much media in the ‘90s were about working moms: The moms were not home as much as they had been in the ‘60s, ‘70s, and ‘80s. Even your favorite sitcoms like Boy Meets World, Home Improvement, and The Cosby Show featured moms who were working or going back to school or trying to piece together a career outside of the home.

And ‘90s moms weren’t just working like us — I’d wager a lot of them were working even harder.

My own mom had an hour-long commute (or more) every single day. We had baseball and softball practice twice a week. We had homework and school projects. PTA meetings were only in-person, and our school had way more events and programs for us to be a part of than my own children’s schools offer now. My mom didn’t get to work from home or leave early to wrap up work on her phone while we all watched TV. She didn’t have DoorDash or Uber Eats. There was no grocery delivery. And somehow she managed to get an entire load of laundry (yes, even the putting-away part) done every single day.

My mom even had a thriving social life. At least once a week, we all went to a local sports bar where we kids got to eat chicken tenders and virgin strawberry daiquiris while our moms sang Shania Twain at karaoke.

I still can’t figure out how she did it.

She talked on the phone to her friends and actually visited our neighbors’ houses for coffee. She read paperbacks constantly, pulled out the sofa bed for us to watch movies, and even made fancy treats on a Saturday night for our weekly SNICK viewing.

Her one hack? Letting us pick out a frozen Kid Cuisine at the grocery store on Fridays. We were allowed to eat it on the floor of the living room and watch a movie.

A movie she actually had to go to Blockbuster and physically rent for us.

I just can’t.

2025 me has so many time-saving resources that our ‘90s moms didn’t. And I know we can say all day that we feel more pressure, but I really don’t think that’s true. I don’t think the workforce has gotten worse on moms than it was in the ‘90s. I honestly don’t think people expect more from me than they did from our ‘90s moms.

I blame social media brain rot.

My mom didn’t have social media or the internet at her fingertips to A) waste her time and B) make her feel bad about herself. She had friends, and she had an actual touch-grass policy that was just a natural thing to do. She cooked meals because she had to feed us and that was the only option, and she didn’t worry about what anyone thought about it.

She didn’t have a choice to skip a work meeting or attend a PTA meeting over Zoom, so she did what she could and was satisfied by that. She had fun with us because she wanted to, not because she was trying to chase some influencer lifestyle. She kept up with our home because she wasn’t battling 800 ideas on the best way to clean your floors and wasn’t receiving Amazon packages in the mail every day of must-have seasonal glassware that she had no room for in her cabinets.

The ‘90s moms just lived their lives. Without all of the conveniences we have, like ordering groceries while in bed or texting our friends instead of walking to their house.

When I think of what my mom would do with all of her free time if she had movie rentals on demand and a work-from-home job in the ‘90s, my brain kind of fizzles out. She probably would’ve picked up more hobbies (even though she had a bunch); she would’ve done more of the redecorating she wanted to try (even though she was literally hanging wallpaper all the time); she might’ve gone back to school (even though she was already reading four books a week).

The sky seemed to be the limit for ‘90s moms. They were powerful, badass women who managed to do it all and make it look so damn easy. I know it wasn’t easy. I know my mom stayed up late some nights ironing clothes and making sure basketball uniforms were washed. I know she loved her Crock-Pot more than life itself, and I know she had to spend her Saturdays after running us all over town at the grocery store.

I know it wasn’t easy. But she did it without complaining.

And I can’t even seem to make a Walmart delivery order without being grouchy.

It’s time we take back some of that ‘90s mom energy. And I think step one is going to be putting down our phones.