time to reevaluate

A Mom “Kidnapped” Her Own Child To Teach Her Incompetent Stay-At-Home Husband A Lesson

He ended up having a panic attack.

Originally Published: 
A working mom asked Reddit's "Am I The A**Hole" thread if she was in the wrong for "kidnapping" her ...
Romona Robbins Photography/Image Source/Getty Images

There are countless stories of unequal divisions of labor (child care, house duties, mental load, etc.) in heteronormative partnerships. Even in 2023, there is still so much discussion around weaponized incompetence and women taking on so much more than men.

Even when men decide to offer up their services (we should all be so thankful, right?!) and stay at home to take care of the kids, there seems to be a hundred stories from moms where that all ends up going wrong.

Case in point: one working mom recently reached out to the the “Am I The A**hole?” Reddit online community after sharing how she taught her stay-at-home husband a lesson when she realized that he wasn’t even watching their kid.

She actually fake kidnapped their baby and scared the sh*t out of him, causing a panic attack and a whole lot of drama. Now she’s asking Reddit if she’s in the wrong.

In the viral Reddit thread, she explains that after having her baby, she went back to work while her husband “reluctantly” decided to stay home with their child since daycare costs are too expensive.

She also mentions that her husband does absolutely nothing as far as employment or help with the housework.

“It’s important to know that he’s been unemployed since 2021. He receives benefits. It’s also important to know that he’s extremely lazy. He doesn’t cook, clean, or help out in any way,” she mentions.

At first, their new arrangement seemed to be going well, and she was pleasantly surprised by how attentive and put-together her husband was acting when she arrived home from work or stopped by for lunch during the day.

“When I came back from work she was clean, and sleeping. The next few times I came home he was either playing with her, feeding her, or out for a walk with her. I was happy,” she wrote.

Things took a dark turn when her neighbor informed her that she was being totally deceived.

“A few days ago my neighbor told me that as soon as I leave the baby cries and she cries for hours,” she wrote. “My neighbor said that she knocked on our door and he finally answered it. He was sleeping. I concluded that he sleeps all day and right. Before I come home he pretends to care for her.”

Enraged and frustrated with her husband’s utter incompetence and deceptive behavior, she decided to teach him a lesson. Instead of going to work, the OP took the day off and snuck back into the house after a few hours of being away.

“Sure enough, he was knocked out sleep with his stupid noise cancelling headphones on. I went to my daughter’s room, scooped her up and took her to my friend’s house,” she continued.

After two hours, she called her husband to let him know she was on her way home early, and that’s when he finally realized the baby was gone.

“He called me back saying that he can’t find the baby. He told me that he was going to call the police but before he did, I told him what I did. He called me an a**hole and a lot of other words too,” she wrote.

In typical immature fashion, he called his mom to come over and comfort him to which she obviously obliged.

“When I got home his mother was there ‘calming his nerves’ because he has a panic attack. She also called me an a**hole. My husband decided to sleep at her house. Family members are telling me that I’m a terrible person. I know that it was extreme but I don’t know if I would consider myself to be an asshole,” she wrote.

The post quickly went viral with over 22k upvotes and thousands of comments from Reddit users voicing their opinions on the situation, some even call for the OP to get out of her marriage as quickly as she can.

One user wrote, “Sleeping with noise cancelling headphones as the only adult in the home caring for a 4M old?! Absolutely NTA.”

Another noted how dangerous his actions were writing, “You are lucky your neighbor told you and didn't call CPS. Because this is neglect, and dangerous. I'd divorce my husband over this, period.”

“NTA. He is not an appropriate caretaker for your child and if I were you I’d be reconsidering the relationship completely,” another Reddit user said.

“I am,” the OP replied in a comment upvoted over 15k times.

Another encouraged the OP to leave her husband.

“NTA also consider divorce — unemployed and won't even look after his own kid? This guy's a leech, you deserve better,” they wrote.

The OP replied, “Thank you. Yes I’m leaving. I wanted to stay so that she could have a father but it’s not worth it.”

While the OP’s measures could be seen as extreme, the entire situation should have never even gotten to the point it did if her husband was a competent caretaker for their child. Here’s to hoping she and her baby can have a fresh start after what seems very much like some dangerous and abusive behavior.

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