Lindsay Donnelly, a Connecticut mom of two, shared in a TikTok that she went on a complete and total wife and mom strike after she says her husband made a “totally spontaneous” complaint about her lack of attention to the state of their home.
Donnelly explained that the tension between she and her husband was one of those perpetual problems that so many couples seem to battle.
“It wasn't an ongoing fight. It's more of the day-to-day ‘keeping a house in order with two working parents and two little kids’ conversation,” she told People.
When she decided to take a break from all household duties, she explained that it was definitely meant to make a point to her husband. She knew what kind of state the house would be in. However, as the piles of laundry continued to grow and the dishes in the sink began to smell, she had to find the humor in the entire ordeal.
She even mentioned in the caption that her strike would be capped off with a girl’s trip away from her family.
“I went out with my girlfriends the night before I made the TikTok and I was telling them how I was literally doing nothing around the house and we were all kind of laughing about it,” she recalled.
“And then the next day, I'm getting ready to head out to a girl's trip and the thought crossed my mind like, ‘I'm really just gonna leave the house like this.’ I felt so bad and it hit me that, wait, this is funny. This is a moment. And that's when I made the TikTok,” she added to People.
Donnelly admitted that her strike wasn’t even noticed by her kids until her daughter literally witnessed her mom “unmake” the bed.
“That morning I was kind of pissed at my husband and my daughter was in the room, and I make the beds every day. It's like habit for me. She was in there with me while I was making the bed. And then I stopped myself and said, ‘You know what?’ and unmade the bed.”
“And she asked, ‘What are you doing?’ and I said, ‘Mommy's not doing any housework.’”
After the video of their messy home went viral, Donnelly admitted that her husband didn’t even notice that she had stopped doing housework, but rather he was just “annoyed” with the state of the home.
While Donnelly’s husband may not have noticed how hurtful (and untrue) his words to his wife were, the internet definitely did. After 18.7 million views and over 20k comments, several TikTok users chimed in that the OP and her husband should call it quits.
“I'd get divorce papers honestly. that's unacceptable that he can't pick up as well,” one user wrote.
“forget a girls trip I’d sign the divorce papers right then & there,” another echoed.
In a follow-up video, she did reveal that her husband did apologize for the out of pocket comment, recognizing all the work she does around the house that he may not notice. She also answered the biggest question viewers had about the aftermath of the strike.
“my question is who had to clean up after the 3 days? hope it was him!!!” one user commented.
Donnelly replied, “HIM. 1000%”
Even though apologies were made and her hard work was recognized, TikTok commenters still were not buying it.
“He’s a grown man, if he doesn’t see what you do than he doesn’t deserve you. Now who’s going to help now? You had to suffer to show him. 🚩,” one user wrote.
Another defended the couple and wrote, “we ALL make snide remarks. but it's always fun to prove eachother wrong too & this was perfect "real marriage" lesson 🥰”
Donnelly says she doesn’t let the negativity weigh her down, though. Instead, she promises to continue to show the more vulnerable sides of marriage while working to make TikTok (and the rest of the internet) a safer place for people to be themselves and show those uglier, messier moments.
“It makes me sad because the internet should be a place where we can share authentically without being afraid of, you know, people jumping down your throat or being judged, or being bullied. And I'm really actually passionate about figuring out how we can make it a safer place,” she said.
“Some people were joking, but I think other people took it to like a really negative mean place and I just worry about for like our kids and like our future if grown adults are acting like that when they're commenting on people's content,” she said. “How can we then expect our children to behave? For me, it took a toll.”
Despite the negative feedback, she plans to continue to show the more “real” side of marriage and family.
“I want to make more content about this. I feel like Brian and I have a good relationship and we can make fun of ourselves, even in our weak moments and I think that that's helpful. It's reality and comedy at the same time,” she added.