Mom Wants Schools To Prioritize Parents' Mental Health In A Controversial TikTok
“Where is the school that has the program or the curriculum for the parents’ mental health?”
Hot takes! Get your hot takes, right here! Piping fresh hot takes, straight off the TikTok! Get ready folks, because this one is a doozy. TikTok user and entrepreneur @melanieduncan77 recently posted what she knew would be an unpopular opinion on the site — why aren’t schools more focused on the mental health of parents? — and boy was it ever so unpopular.
“I want to know: where is the school that is prioritizing not just the mental and emotional health of the children, but the mental and emotional health of the parents?” she begins, continuing, “Between all of the chat groups and apps that I have to be involved in and emails and scheduling things and field trips and extracurriculars, it’s too much! And I laugh at how much schools are doing all these programs for the kids to have mental and emotional health. Where is the school that has the program or the curriculum for the parents’ mental health?”
Guys, there’s more...
“And I’m not talking about more education and more things to do and more groups to be a part of. I want a school that does less and has less for me to do as a parent,” she explains. “I’m talking less volunteer activities, I’m talking less emails, messages, calls, updates, chat groups. I want to do less as a parent who has my child in school. Unpopular thing to say, I know. As moms, we’re kind of put in this pressure that we’re supposed to take on everything for our children and be everything and do everything.”
Her ideal situation? I’ll call it “Crockpot Education.” Basically bring the kids to school and just kind not have to think about it until it’s time for them to come home. She says she wants the support of hearing “They’re good! You’re good! We don’t need anything from you! You pay the tuition, if it’s a private school, but other than that we don’t need all of this involvement. ... Less coordination, less for me to think about. Anyone else feel me?”
There’s a lot to unpack here, but I’ll start by touching on the things she got right:
Being a parent in general and a mom in particular is hard. There’s a unique pressure for women to give 100% of their attention to whatever person or task currently has their attention and it’s exhausting and impossible. Of course it’s important to learn that pressure does not equal obligation, but even so, that can be a hard lesson to internalize.
That said, beyond that... sorry, Melanie: you lost me. (And basically all the folks in the comments, PS. My favorite of which was “How do you think teachers feel?!?”)
Let’s take these items point by point.
Where is the school prioritizing the mental and emotional health of the parents?
Therapy. It’s called therapy. You generally go there about once a week (so, hey, not too much time to take out of your day)! Schools are not there to cater to parents’ needs, specifically. That’s kind of like saying “Where are the delis that also prioritize walking my dog?”
Half of these complaints are optional activities
Group chats, extracurriculars, dress up days, and volunteering are all extra and voluntary... literally they’re right there in the names of “extracurricular” and “volunteering.”
Sure, some private schools require a set amount of volunteer hours (and it seems like her kids might go to private school), but no one accidentally winds up sending their kids to private school. People choose that and, as such, the responsibility to volunteer.
“I want a school that does less and has less for me to do as a parent.”
Bestie, respectfully, I don’t think you do. I think you want your kids to have a magical, enriching school experience where other people put in all the work for it. And I get it. We all would love that (or at least appreciate the option)! But that’s just not how it works and it feels like if we have kids in school we’re all old enough to know that.
