Mom Wonders If She's Wrong For Making Her Young Kids Sleep In On Weekends

For years, I had no alarm clock. I had a child who always woke me up before the sun rose. She was a chronic 4:30 AM - 5 AM waker-upper, and it was just...the worst.

And honestly, getting up in the morning wasn’t the worst part. It made getting in some “me time” incredibly difficult. I envied every mom who would say, “Just get up before your kids and [insert self-care activity here]!”

It just wasn’t possible because she was ready to go once she was up, needing my attention, wanting breakfast, etc. One mom found herself in a similar boat, wondering if she’s in the wrong for setting clear boundaries with her kids, making them stay in their beds until she says they can come out on the weekends.

She posted in the /Parenting subreddit to gather some opinions from others, gaining an interesting and mixed response.

She explains that she and her husband share 6 children in a “mixed family,” and before they lived together, her husband had kind of set up a precedent with his kids. Basically, no matter how early they woke up in the morning, some adult (him or his parents) would be there to help the kids and fix them breakfast.

“We've all lived together for a little over 3 years, so you'd think we would have all adjusted by now, and we somewhat have, but these two still like to get up anywhere between 4am-6am. And the moment they're awake they want to eat,” she explains.

“I like to get up around 4am-5am for my me time, so this has been hard.”

She says she tries to put the kids back to sleep, but they refuse, asking when they get “get up.”

She’s tried alarm clocks, wake-to-rise lights, etc., and nothing seems to keep these kids in their beds.

“I would usually let them just be up around 5:30-6 just depending, but these two are also very loud and rambunctious. 6yo does not have an inside voice to be found. They want to play and won't sit quiet at the TV or anything. All this to say they wake up the whole house. And now I'm doing breakfast before 6am on a Saturday for a bunch of cranky kids,” she continues.

“I don't want sleeping in to be a punishment. But I've had to start telling these two that they aren't allowed to get up until I say so (which I've decided is 7:30 on the weekends).”

“Some days this works. Other days, like today, they keep getting up to complain and tell me how hungry they are. It makes me feel bad I dont want them just sitting in there hungry, but I also know they're not starving and I just want the house to have a peaceful Saturday morning for once.”

Several users offered up some ideas on how the OP could mitigate this pickle.

“My dad used to make ‘papa’s breakfast bar’ for the grandkids when they were little. The night before, he would set out juice boxes, applesauce pouches, cereal and things like that and the kids knew that if they woke up before the adults, they had access to these snacks and were allowed to be in a certain room quietly until a reasonable hour,” they suggested.

Another said, “I might start putting a little ‘breakfast set up’ in their bedroom the night before of some very simple things they could have until everyone gets up. Dry cereal in a bowl, granola bar, applesauce pouches. If you get up at 4, you could open anything that might need it then and sneak back out of the room. Do the two who wake up earliest share a room? That might help.

Also you could set up ‘morning baskets’ in their rooms of quiet activities to keep them busy. Rotate in new toys or make up some quieter activities. Lots of ideas on Pinterest and things like that.”

One user said that the OP kind of just needs to deal with their sleep schedule.

“Honestly, it’s better for their bodies to get up at the same time everyday (not sleep in on weekends). It’s their circadian rhythm, and messing with it can have repercussions on hormones and other body systems.

You will have an easier time training them how to BEHAVE differently (not sleep differently). I would figure out a system for them that helps them eat and play independently and learn to leave you alone to still have your me time,” they wrote.

Some people accused the OP of putting herself first to get “me time” while her kids “starve” in their room. The OP set the record straight in an update.

“Everyone is talking about how they must be hungry and laying there starving for 2 hours, and while I can see thats the picture I painted, it isn't quite accurate to the situation,” she said.

“They get up several times and it usually starts with using the bathroom, then getting up to get a drink, then getting up for a hug. Then to tell me they were looking for a toy. Etc. Etc. But they do turn to being hungry and wanting breakfast thrown into the mix. They aren't crying and distraught over being hungry. It just becomes their excuse because they are used to this excuse working on being about to get up too early before. It's why we do breakfast at 6am to begin with. I argued about giving them a snack at 4 am because it would become routine and they would start expecting to get a snack at 4 am every morning, when I would rather their routine include sleeping until 6am or layer.”

Okay, that seems totally fair! As a mom of an early riser kid, I think people in the thread were way too hard on the OP because getting up before 6 AM every single day sucks! Hopefully, she takes some of the helpful suggestions left or (like my kid finally did) the kids grow out of their early-rising lifestyle!