50 Reasons Not To Have A Baby

have-baby

A few weeks ago, we visited out of town friends for the weekend. As we were walking around their neighborhood, we ran into their neighbors. How’s your weekend going, they innocently asked? The dad’s response: Great, but the Smoklers certainly serve as excellent birth control.

Um, thanks?

Fortunately, I don’t offend easily. I also don’t agree. I can think of quite a few things that serve as far better reason not to keep procreating than my darling family, thank you very much. Ready?

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1. Throwing up in the kitchen sink because you just can’t make it to the bathroom.

2. Stretch marks on top of stretch marks.

3. Not being able to wear your wedding ring because your fingers have morphed into sausages.

4. Sex with a fetus in the middle.

5. Cankles.

6. Not having your period, but having to still wear a pad.

7. Not recognizing yourself in the mirror.

8. The ninth month of pregnancy.

9. Childbirth.

10. The placenta.

11. Taking that first poop after delivery.

12. The dried out, ready-to-fall-off umbilical cord.

13. The aerobic workout that is installing an infant car-seat.

14. Running out of wipes at the worst possible moment.

15. Being on the receiving end of endless and unwanted advice on everything involving your baby.

16. Using a breast pump.

17. Writing thank you notes for baby gifts when you can barely see straight.

18. Realizing that the baby weight isn’t, in fact, going to melt off.

19. Living in fear that you will wake that baby who took, OMG seriously, an hour and a half to put to sleep.

20. Cutting teeny, tiny, paper thin fingernails.

21. Obsessively checking to make sure the baby is breathing when he or she is finally soundly asleep.

22. Vaccinations.

23. Worrying that the baby’s floppy head might actually fall off.

24. Rectally taking temperatures.

25. Sore nipples.

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26. Keeping the right size diapers stocked.

27. Keeping the diapers on.

28. Being incapable of having conversations with other adults.

29. Schlepping an infant carrier everywhere and developing uneven bicep muscles.

30. Feeling like the worst parent in the world for not obsessively filling out baby book pages.

31. Projectile vomit.

32. Not being able to soothe a screaming baby in a backward facing seat because you are concentrating on not wrapping your car around a tree, but at that moment it sounds like a fine way to put you out of your misery.

33. Sterilizing bottles.

34. Searching in the middle of the night for a lost pacifier, like it was a million dollar lottery ticket.

35. Spit up covered shoulders.

36. Accepting that your feet aren’t actually returning to their original size.

37. Baby Einstein videos.

38. Not being able to turn your head because you fall asleep night after night in the rocking chair.

39. Sleep deprivation.

40. Fearing that the baby might prefer someone – anyone – to you.

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41. Baby prunes, chicken and rice and squash.

42. Teething.

43. Ear infections.

44. The dreaded six week postpartum checkup.

45. Explosive diarrhea.

46. Maneuvering a stroller around a store not built for strollers.

47. Changing crib sheets.

48. Trying on your pre-baby jeans for the first time.

49. Having no idea why your clean, fed and burped baby is screaming his or her head off for hours on end.

50. The fact that babies turn into… kids.

Related post: 50 Lessons in Parenting Young Kids

About the writer

@scarymommy

In addition to being the founder of all things Scary Mommy, Jill is also the New York Times bestselling author of Simon and Schuster’s Confessions of A Scary Mommy and Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies)

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Nicole Leib 5 months ago

Do people really find this funny??? I find it so sad :(

Nicole Leib 5 months ago

You seem like a huge bitch. Very unloving and self centered.
you are probably a woman who thinks children advance your status in society. So sad.

Look at the bigger picture 5 months ago

Looking at this list, you have neglected to mention the most important reason not to reproduce: overpopulation. Let’s face it, the human species is beyond overpopulated, which is why people should not reproduce. And what if you want kids? There’s this wonderful thing called adoption, where you can take care of children who desperately need a good loving, home. The world is full of neglected, unloved children, and the best reasons you can come up with for not reproducing don’t even mention that fact.

Sincerely,
A 15-year-old with more sense than you

stillsosola 8 months ago

I got pregnant with a perfectly in place copper IUD my advice always backup any BC with condoms

Alesha 9 months ago

I haven’t had a baby yet but I completely agree!!!

Alice 9 months ago

That is soo discusting that im never having babies!!

Laura 9 months ago

oh! This!!! Lol. I didn’t deal with projectile vomit (yet) he’s 3. Only one case of explosive diarrhea so far and no spit up or ear infections. But, the rest of this is on point and makes me laugh with just a touch of crying because those early wonderful yet horrendous blurs of days of nights are just pure craziness! But I wouldn’t trade them for anything! Now we have to find his special car of choice at night…every night…

Kate 11 months ago

I never want kids.

51. You have no money for yourself
52. Your identity gets lost in a sea of “MOMMY!” all day long
53. You and your s/o forget why you fell in love with each other

Kate 11 months ago

I never want to have any kids, this just confirms it.

CD 11 months ago

OMG LMAO!!

Could be fun though… LOL

Sebby 12 months ago

Oh the teen years make the baby/toddler years seem like a cakewalk.

Sebby 12 months ago

It’s all true. But 99.9% of all moms wouldn’t trade it for the world. Something changes when you hold them that first time. Granted there will be days when you wonder, what was I thinking,,, but those are short lived.

Jennifer 12 months ago

*reading articles like this while six months pregnant ;;thus accepting your fate as a neurotic mess for the next three months and the lifetime of terrifying experiences yet to come… “get a cat” they said “cats are low maintenance” they said. “Nah, babies are way cooler” I said… regardless my bundle of colic and diarrhea is going to be perfect (: and I love her so much already. Also I fear her demon baby powers….but mostly just adore her :)

randi 12 months ago

Stupid… i get having kids isnt for everyone but seriously? Whoever came up with these reasons needs a reality check….. badly!

Laura 12 months ago

I really hope you are being sarcastic…

Laura 12 months ago

I am never going to have children and I am never going to have sex :) best decision I’ve made so far.

Jessica Millar 12 months ago

Pretty wimpy reasons not to….

Deb Brandt-Sarif 12 months ago

true! so true! all of it!! & it seems endless when you are in the middle of it…and now (years later) it seems like a million years ago (#34 made me laugh out loud…I SO remember that night!)

Imani Malika 12 months ago

It’s funny that people are capable of forgetting everything on this list and having kids again and again lol. In the middle of it I’m like why would anyone volunteer to do this again?! I’m on baby number 3 and still don’t have a proper answer for that.

Jenny Martinez 12 months ago

Parenting is the greatest, happiest, most magical thing ever and nothing bad ever happens. As such I am offended by this post. Good day sirs.

Sandra Rendon 12 months ago

Hahaha backpacking our babies! 😀 haha #50 made me laugh!!!

Adriana Maldonado 12 months ago

Agree with Sandra 😛 She knows wassup!

Brenda Muñoz Cruz 12 months ago

HELL TO THE NO!!!!! in two years we are backpacking south America! Sandra Cinthya Adriana

Sandra Rendon 12 months ago

So in two year we are all going to have a baby so they can grow up together! 😀 Brenda Muñoz Cruz

CE Carpenter 12 months ago

Great points for the silly immature people who think babies are quiet little dolls that can be put away upon tiring of… However, I have three ‘babies’ that have grown to be remarkable young women. I would never trade one freakin stretch mark or puke memory for anything… Everyone ages and life isn’t perfect. Having imperfect little legacies is indescribably wonderful… Hang in there all you parents of wee ones! The time flies by in a heartbeat and when you take them to college you will cry: both happy and sad tears.

Caroline Grenier 12 months ago

Lol. Omg. #’s 20,30 and 47! So worth every damn moment 😉

Aschlei Baker 12 months ago

And to this I say, thank goodness my body can’t have another baby!

Brandy Jo Oliphant 12 months ago

Omg all of this!!! So true!! But worth it all :)

Amanda Brady 12 months ago

Why does every post you do have someone getting butthurt? Too bad people don’t appreciate your sense of humor.

Jessica Wegrzynski Barone 12 months ago

Theses are good

Natalia Mérida Molina 12 months ago

51 having a trip to the beach this weekend and not going cuz baby is sick…

Scarlett LM 12 months ago

Only thing that bothers me (as of right now anyway) about having a baby is pregnancy weight. Seriously I eat 1500 cals a day like I’m supposed to and I workout and I STILL CANT STOP GAINING WEIGHT! If I don’t gain anymore weight, I’ll be happy. I know you’re supposed to gain weight but I’m already up 17 pounds and I’m only half way through. Thank god I have so many friends who are personal trainers and do competitions and stuff so they can get me skinny again 😉 lol

Casey Evans 12 months ago

Ha

Jamie Pearce Conti 12 months ago

I had forgotten about #38. Ha! Great compilation 😉

Faith Ciampa 12 months ago

34!! So true!

Suezy Link 12 months ago

Ehhh so u go thru some shit , we get over it, the love u get is worth it, n thers alot more positive, some people cant handle it i guess, u have to be selfless

Tiana 12 months ago

Years and years of diapers. I mean, YEARS.
My oldest is 7 1/2, middle is 5, and youngest is 2; there has been NO break in diapers for 7 1/2 years (middle kid is a boy who refused to use the toilet until he was almost 4). My youngest is a girl and is starting to show interest so there is light at the end of the poop chute.

Ramona Villa 12 months ago

Number one reason to not have a baby: they become teenagers!! That’s scary!

Elee Lanier 12 months ago

I had five kids in 4 1/2 years last ones being identical twin boys…. The twins with ADHD and oppositional defiant disorder. It was the hardest thing I had to do in my life taking care of all five of them at such a close age, working part time, bringing them to counseling because of their ADHD, taking them to baseball games.- three separate leagues mind you,The twins are now 23 yrs old, my other son 25. my daughter 26, and my oldest 27 years old. Looking back…it was the toughest thing that I had to do in my whole life…and I don’t know how I did it….but I love them all…and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Amanda Rainville 12 months ago

Too late, due in January with #3, wont change it for the world.

Ashely Carnes 12 months ago

What they didn’t mention is that it is all worth it <3 :)

Danielle Kingston Fry 12 months ago

I didn’t even have to read this…and I know there are way more than 50 reasons to not have a baby!! :)

Fr.Alexander Resnikoff 12 months ago

Nahh. It’s all worth it in the end.

Billions of people can’t all be wrong ! :)

Liza Martin 12 months ago

Stephanie Lewis,: All justifiable reasons. And I am so sick of the parents who coo, “But it’s so worth it.” That’s why I’m letting you guys do the work!

Erika Evans Schuster 12 months ago

Not impressed. Aside from sleep deprivation it’s 100% worth the rest….

Duchess G Finley 12 months ago

I joke all the time about “I should of got a dog” but truth be told I wouldn’t change having my son for a single thing. There’s 50 funny things you have to face and then some but I think there’s more reasons to have a baby than to not. 😉 just sayin. <3

Jill Marich 12 months ago

I feel very sorry for the person that wrote this.

Ashley Hektner Dahl 12 months ago

All so true, but so worth it!

MamaB 12 months ago

Damn, wish I’d heard that two kids ago…! We were a blissful family of three and everything was so wonderful that we decided to go for it again, despite our original plan to only have the one.

#1 is perfect, #2 is… challenging… I’m curious/nervous to see who #3 turns out to be in a few months. Crossing fingers for another chill kid; idk if I can handle another high-maintenance kiddo!

Brittany Gabrielle Stottlemyre 12 months ago

Thank you for this, I woke up with a serious case of baby fever.

Shael The-Kitty 12 months ago

Meh, I could handle pregnancy and a newborn again, it’s the snarky toddler phase and potty training that has me wanting to stop at 1!!!

Gillian Nicole 12 months ago

Lol so true so true

Amanda Lynn Parks 12 months ago

And this too!!! ❤️

Lisa Mullen 12 months ago

What’s so bad about this list? It’s what happens

Angelic Ferrari Westfall 12 months ago

LMAO!

Kassandra Baxter 12 months ago

And it’s all 100% worth it

Chantelle Lafrenière-Reid 12 months ago

Looking for a place to breastfeed a baby in public with your 3-year old in tow.

Alana Priebs Klebaur 12 months ago

Jeez relax it’s meant to be funny

Michelle Inwinterpark 12 months ago

All. Of. These.
C’mon folks, don’t take things too seriously. Having kids is the best gift God ever gave me but the journey is not all unicorns and rainbows. There are tough times and these are some of them. Especially #20-those tiny sword like fingernails scared me to death to cut! So tiny and always in motion! I made my mom do it! :)

Mary Schneider 12 months ago

Kinda late for most of us don’tcha think? lol

Kristine Taylor 12 months ago

Lol, and being willing to do it over again Ashely Carnes #14, # 29

Jessica Collins 12 months ago

51. Recovering from a c-section.

Jessica Petree 12 months ago

How did you get my list? This is seriously funny and true!

Daisy P Vazquez 12 months ago

Jesus :O

Sarah Fastenberg Kone 12 months ago

Still 1000xs more good reasons to have kids than to not… I just had my second 2 weeks ago…
All the things listed on the list will go away…

Lauren Christine Snader 12 months ago

Leg cramps should be one and even after labor I still have them my baby is 2 months

Leslie Hepburn 12 months ago

Not to mention the rampant insomnia during pregnancy that never goes away, no matter how tired you are after baby comes. I guess I’m lucky when it comes to baby weight, I’m the exact same weight prebaby, fat.

Sarah Fritz-Maldonado 12 months ago

This would have been perfect 2- 3 pregnancies ago… I’d say 4 but my oldest is 13 sooooooo lol

Emilie Gauthier 12 months ago

Hilarious! ! Sleep deprivation! I’m up since 2h40am and it is now 4h30 am…. My little guy is full awake! Thank god he’s not crying though! !

Soul 12 months ago

It’s so very, very worth it. Yes, you hardly get sleep, and yes, all your plans and who you were and what you knew changes, but it changes in a good way.

You lose sleep, you lose some hair, and some times you lose your mind, but trust me, when that baby is in your arms, sound asleep, even after the hour-long soothing, you’ll be blissed out on how content they look.

And then the smiles….There’s no WAY any of us mothers can actually DESCRIBE the feelings that we experience when our children smile.

Giggles come next. My darling just started working on giggling. I cried. It’s like soft bells on Christmas to me.

All of us moms will complain and b*tch and moan about all the hassle they gave us that day, that week…But I’m pretty sure at least 95% would never change that fact for the world.

Don’t let it get you down~ You have a whole new adventure ahead of you.

PS: Sleepy smiles. Just you wait. Baby will be curled in your arms, eyes half closed, and the smile spreads on their lips when your eyes meet theirs.

Good luck, Momma. I know you can do it. <3

Jennifer Strand Mikkelson 12 months ago

I’m laughing so hard I am crying! I can relate to each and every one of those reasons! :)

Kimberly White 12 months ago

These are not reasons to not have a baby, but just some that come along with it.

Bernadett Hell 12 months ago

I could tell 100! :-)

Danié Alicia Lionberger 12 months ago

What are friends for? I’m still hoping you’re having twins :-)

Kelly Kornelson 12 months ago

Many of these were not hard for me, however, i admire her restraint at stopping at only 50. Pretty sure there are hundreds of reasons. Phew.

Ashley Kwick 12 months ago

#11 terrified me

Lindsey 12 months ago

Don’t forget the delightful back pain that comes with pregnancy. Or having ribs out of place due to your hips and spine shifting. Go ahead and say “adios” to ever getting comfortable again!

Cassandra Bitner 12 months ago

#1: having one with someone who isn’t man enough to stick around, and you get to do all the hard work on your own.

Charlene Bruyns 12 months ago

Hahaha this is so true and when 50 comes true you sometimes wish you could go back to dealing with the other 49 again.

Lacey Ducsay 12 months ago

Not good enough reasons to not have babies…. But definitely hilarious.

Jennifer Anne Christopher 12 months ago

i can’t wait to experience each and every little thing woth pregnancy…good and bad…i am in my 30’s hoping to get prego with my first soon…

Sharon Miller 12 months ago

Hilarious and much needed. Vacation and my 40th this year..i am drinking damnit! But this 9 month old is so damn fun and cute (and alot of work and tiring) sometimes i just want to michelle duggar it and keep poppin them out. Crazy talk.

Rhianna Eggleston 12 months ago

I wouldn’t trade her for anything :)

Sharlena Fox 12 months ago

But. There’s 1 good reason to have a baby that trumps all the reasons “not to” lol and Every mother knows it

Lilian Gonzalez 12 months ago

Oh I could say at least 50 more

Joan 12 months ago

And it’s all worth it!

Sarah 12 months ago

Yah my first was an easy baby but is a holy terror as a teenager (17 year old girl). 2nd was a cranky baby but is mostly a breeze now as a 14 year old boy.

Jessica Quintana 12 months ago

Lmao I agree with each and every line

Sarah Meyer 12 months ago

Here’s the thing here, folks. This is supposed to be ‘cheeky’. You know…FUNNY. For someone who wants a baby you could list 400 reasons NOT to and it’s not going to change their mind. For the rest of us who are sort of over it–well we wouldn’t trade our kids for the world, however we’re glad that part of our lives is over. Not that we didn’t appreciate it…but the rest of your life sans baby can be good too.
This is for us that may be on the fence about whether we want more, or not. And yes it reminds me that two probably really is enough. Pregnancy is TOUGH. Glad that I did it but…glad I don’t have to do it again if I don’t want to. So…naysayers please please PLEASE chill, mmmkay? Thanks.

Sheena Cannon 12 months ago

Awesome! thanks for that, from one version of a mommy :)

Amara Rojas-Schupp 12 months ago

I just have to disagree with #50!! That is the BEST part about having a baby!! They turn into kids who can communicate, play, make “real” friends (not baby friends… those dont count)and… POTTY TRAINED!!! But honestly, if I could skip from around 4 months old all the way to 2 years old… that would be great.
She also forgot #51. Dressing a baby.
And #52 Changing a baby who can roll over (omg… )

Sarah Meyer 12 months ago

That’s should be #51-70. PERINEAL TEAR should be #70-500 MILLION. OMG….never ever ever had worse pain in my entire LIFE…except for the labor with my 2nd baby. UGH. lol

Dena Stelly 12 months ago

They’ve heard of it but some of them can’t get the stick out of their asses long enough to see the humor.

Rosie Marie 12 months ago

Pissing on the trampoline :(

Christy Coury 12 months ago

20, 32 ,47

Sedarella Babcock 12 months ago

Because my son shit himself silly today and then proceeded to finger paint with it on the walls, door, toys and himself! That’s reason enough haha

Kimberli Santa Maria 12 months ago

That lady is funny!

sheetal 12 months ago

Gudbye “my time”

Catherine Ann 12 months ago

#34….esp fun when said pacifier is clear and is the only one your lil one will take.
For all the ppl spouting it is negative. Have you ever heard of sarcasm….satire?

Kayleen Gover 12 months ago

Hahahahaha yea but there are 50 plus reasons to have a baby.

Ashley Butler 12 months ago

Thank god we aren’t the only ones that lack baby books!

H Annie Hutchinson 12 months ago

But…this : )

Stephy 12 months ago

I’ve got a two week old and a two year old right now. I’m living every single one of these.

Nicole Woods-Sisk 12 months ago

PPD! And 4 months later still need to do thank you’s!

Kristi Prohaska Bloom 12 months ago

Love these

Natalie Long 12 months ago

This is right on!!! Yet so worth it.

Katie Shull 12 months ago

Or projectile poop..I called it the poorocket & I discovered it one night @ 3am while in the midst of a low light diaper change on my 4 day old daughter. It had a follow up appearance 2 days later. Oh the horror…the horror!

Chrissy Vasquez 12 months ago

Forgot a few……. Leaky nipples that can soak a nipple guard as if it were tissue paper, diaper blowouts so bad that you are covered in pee, poop or diarrhea and you’re not at home, nursing in public near that one freak that had probably never been near a real woman’s “exposed” breast that has to stare even with a nursing cover, the hemorrhoids that no one tells you about after a long labor, everyone will constantly tell you that you look tired and you will want to scream no shit Sherlock!, everyone wants to touch your belly when pregnant, then everyone wants to touch and or hold your baby and that includes strangers, colic and acid reflux is no joke and you don’t wish it on your worst enemy.

Alexis Watkins 12 months ago

#32 & #34 had me in tears. Isnt this just the gods honest truth.

Danielle Blough 12 months ago

Lol!! Number 50. The most important of all!!

Bernadette Wastestoomuchtime Here 12 months ago

* a million kids o.O

Bernadette Wastestoomuchtime Here 12 months ago

#50. I’d have million babies if they didnt turn into a killing kids.

Sarah Jane Campbell 12 months ago

now you tell me!! thanks

Bonnie Jensen 12 months ago

OMG this does not help

Maritza Orozco-Ramos 12 months ago

LOL!

Jen Bove 12 months ago

Forgot carpal tunnel!

Jessie Rodefer-Christopher 12 months ago

#51 kids turn into teens!

Megan Naeger 12 months ago

All 50 reasons do suck, including a few not listed, but it’s still totally worth it! I have a 7.5 month old and can’t wait to have another! And he wasn’t a walk in the park either….

NiCole Bourgeois Atkins 12 months ago

This is funny!!!! LOL

Karen Smith 12 months ago

Don’t forget about postpartum depression, a most yukky condition.

Amy Rueter 12 months ago

Never needed an infant car seat–slings and carriers saved my life! Mine are teen/tween now, so this list doesn’t seem so bad, lol!

L’Don Allen 12 months ago

I just read this and still want one. I’m calling my psychiatrist tomorrow!

Janice Gardner 12 months ago

No regrets here….all worth it……Mom of two teens now and loving it! It’s just getting better everyday…..right?

Tea Marie Pfeifer 12 months ago

Hmmm how did episiotomy get left out of this list? Lol

Savannah Rose Greene 12 months ago

# 15….

Kaci Woods 12 months ago

30&31 I can’t handle but the rest is well worth it! Everyone said I wouldn’t gag at the sight or smell of vomit when it’s my own kid. Totally false, it’s still horrible and I hold him away from me if he has to throw up

Beth Rosenbaum 12 months ago

Only a few of these are bad enough to make me think twice, but #32….been there. Lol

Rachel Ramirez 12 months ago

#13. And installing it in 90℉ weather in a coupe. Thank goodness for youtube.

Jamie Lynn Gross 12 months ago

So true! I love my son, but have no desire to have another as much as I love being his mom.

Gabby Rush 12 months ago

ill give u just one good one..the world is turning to shit lol

Jennifer Benca Sutter 12 months ago

#51 – Kids turn into teenagers… a whole new dynamic only survival for mom’s during teenage years– a hobby like running to get away and drinking lots of red wine to cope!!

Mickky 1 year ago

This may sound very strange but this list only makes me more excited to become a mother 😛 I look forward to all those things

Tessa 1 year ago

I agree with ALL of them,my mom was about to have one, but had a miscarriage, and it would have been bad, she already has four children one just moved out too. The other two don’t even live here yet and mother says she would love for them to be here…this was her third miscarriage too.

b 1 year ago

I have 2 kids, and absolutely disagree.

Tiffii 1 year ago

I sincerely hope that all this is a huge inside joke for all mothers because if not I could cry. I have no children of my own, but since my nephew was a month old I (along with other members of my immediate family) have been taking turns “raising” him because his “mother” seems to think he is a handful and difficult to deal with. I may be slightly biased, but make no mistake when I say that he is the best baby who was ever born. I have never loved another human being as much as I love Brantley. His constant smiles, giggles, and ever changing/growing personality melts my heart no matter how sleep deprived I may feel. My boyfriend and I recently had the “baby discussion” which I NEVER thought would happen and while I am hesitant to start a family even though we are both 27 and 33 respectively I also look forward to the day we can create a tiny, sweet, amazing little guy or gal who is part of us both. Child birth is the LAST thing I ever want to experience as I’m a huge weenie, but I also looked forward to being a parent. As I said previously I am sure this list is a joke for mommy’s to other mommy’s as a coping mechanism as I am 100% sure being a mother is the toughest job out there (despite what others may think). I also hope that anyone who, like me, stumbles across this list and has had notions of being a mother some day, does not completely take it seriously and let it discourage them from doing the most amazing, beautiful, selfless, and underrated job out there. Always remember children are a gift to be nurtured and cherished, and yes sometimes they make great stories to share as sometimes all you can do is laugh. If you feel that you can’t or don’t want another child, or if you are simply on the fence, please do the world a favor and don’t have a child until you have fully made a decision. Yes “accidents” happen, but lets face it in this day and age it’s very easy to prevent unwanted pregnancy. No child asks to be born, but they most certainly deserve the most wonderful life experiences, tremendous amounts of love and affection, and lots of teaching throughout their entire lives. To all those women out there who, like me, look forward to the puke, drool, poop, pee, crying, sleepless nights, worry, fear, anxiety, and exponential amounts of love, sweat, and tears I would like to say god bless!

MomTo2Maybe7 1 year ago

Too late. I’m already 2 months into my 9 month bid. I’m in “lock up” cuz i got married on Valentine’s day and got pregnant right after my wedding. Great article. I literally forgot the torture considering i have an 8 and 4 yr old.

TuTu Monique 1 year ago

oh my god, people like u…. -____-… you'd be the one in the delivery room like… "oh that sounds like it hurts, my baby just slipped right out!" smh

Buffster 1 year ago

I didn’t realize so many non-parents read this site.

rose 1 year ago

expecting #6 and so excited. Sure its hard, sure i will add this labor story to my other 5 horrific stories, but its so worth it. I found this list funny and true, but not scary. not sure why all the commenters are so hostle

Mary 1 year ago

That’s true,and I am so sorry if you are someone who is not able to conceive. I don’t think anyone wants to hurt you by their valid complaints. People also complain about their jobs when they have a mean boss or something, yet, if they have food on their table and a roof over their heads, should they just be quiet? There are people dying from war and disease, which is even more reason to complain. There’s always something worse happening to someone, but it doesn’t mean that we are not allowed to complain when we are down or suffering, does it? That being said, people can talk about the negatives of any experience, yet still really be glad for the positive sides. We just need to be able to let off stress healthily, and reach out for support. That’s very important when you are tired and need to be a good parent and not feel isolated.

Sillypeople 2 years ago

Unsure of why people get so upset. I found this funny. It almost made me want a baby because it is everything I think of when thinking of having kids.

DCHeatFan 2 years ago

Kids are just way more responsibility than I want in life. I’m 38, and my goal is to retire ASAP. Having children is contradictory to everything I want in life. I can stand my nephews for an hour or so (2 and 6) here and there but other than that it’s just annoying being around children. The 2 year old does whatever he wants and the 6 year old just rambles on about nonsense. I rarely have an idea what he’s talking about. Having a family made sense when there was a benefit, but now it’s just a financial disaster waiting to happen. Think about all those stories you hear about families losing it all. If you never have kids the likelihood of you being in poverty is much less likely.

LadyBug 2 years ago

although u wrote lol, u seem mad……?? LOL :)

LadyBug 2 years ago

u suck, lol

Amy 2 years ago

My kid was born from the stomach (No Vaginal Pains)
I bottle-feed my baby (No Nipple/Breast Pains)
And I live as close to the nearest school as possible (Advantage)

Emily 2 years ago

You named your kid Talon?

Catherine Birch 2 years ago

I never had any sickness or swollen feet. I had a dream prgnancy, but the labour was a 30 hour nightmare,leaving me sore for 3 months. Now, 40 years later, I need treatment for a rectocyle resulting from that long ago ordeal. If I`d known what giving birth would do to me, I`d have been sterilised in my teens!

Demetra Paul 2 years ago

this is sooo funny..true, but funny neverTheLess lmaoooo

Ms Demetra Pavlou 2 years ago

oh my god…I AM AFRAID..SO VEEEEEERY AFRAID! PASS THE IUD PLEASE!

Ms Demetra Pavlou 2 years ago

lmao you are all so funny and real lol

Bumblebee 2 years ago

My number 3 is also an IUD baby!

Sarah Tuttle-Singer 2 years ago

You convinced me. Thank you. :)))

Amanda Seniuk 2 years ago

I must be one in a million as half of these I haven't experienced an even after four children I can still wear my high school size clothes and I get big in pregnancy not to mention I can wear them within the first two weeks after birth

Amanda 2 years ago

Well if the first is a decoy well my first was colic. Up every night to second night all night and day. However I am pregnant with number 5. We have a blended family with soon to be 7 children and I wouldnt have it any other way. 3 from my previous marriage 2 from his and soon to be our final second. While I was done before my third my body had other plans and doctors refuse to do anything even after a conception while using birth control and a condom and I would up having an amazing blended family. The things you go through are not that bad as people make it out to be and it’s apart of being a parent. If I could I’d do it a million times over but the baby part is almost beginning and O Pregnancy is almost at the end of my life plan but I will never forget it as its been the most amazing experience of my life

Mi$$*AJ* 2 years ago

That gorgeous hair you once had… Dry. Ruined.never the same!! Oh and the # 1. ITS HARD

Tami B Revealed 2 years ago

LOL

Mary 2 years ago

Yea I know. Everything she mentioned is pretty much only temporary.

Mary 2 years ago

Seriously?? 6 under seven? You’re worse than a rabbit. Did you like come home from the hospital each day and immediately had sex and conceive again 6 more times??! Yea, there’s no way you love every min of it. And thank you so much for overpopulating the planet!

Joy 2 years ago

I have to say, the baby stage only appears to have gone by quickly when you’re looking back at it from post-baby stage. When you’re in the thick of it, you’re just praying for it to end. Hah! This, from a mom who struggles with depression, and who has two kids, the oldest of which had really bad reflux and was awful his whole first year—and didn’t sleep through the night until he was 3. The youngest, 4 months old, who has reflux too and is acting just like his brother did when he was a baby. Sleeping a fair bit better than his brother did though, and only waking 5-6 times a night vs. his brother’s 8-10 times a night for the first 10 months of life. THAT’S birth control for you!

Joy 2 years ago

My first kid was a nightmare baby for the first year. He’s now a very laid-back 3 year old. I thought, ok, maybe I got the hard stuff out of the way early? And so we had another. And he is just about as difficult as his brother was. So we are not having any more children.

Meg 2 years ago

#101 – Having to wear a bra in bed. Every. Single. Night.

Arjun Kanuri 2 years ago

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R 2 years ago

Don’t have a baby so that you do not force someone else into this world of suffering. That is the best and finest reason of all.

Simona 3 years ago

I don’t get it. These reasons are just general knowledge, about what it’s like to have kids, however, soooo many people STILL choose to have them. I understand that this is little you + a man/woman you love in one body (as well as instinct), but is it really worth it? Is it really worth losing yourself for this? I would think that there is actually more reasons out there to not have kids than to have them.

APanda88 3 years ago

Reading this had me smiling, while all of those things may be unpleasant at the same time they are apart of parenthood and I kinda find it endearing. I kinda want another one.

Molly 3 years ago

Well, my daughter is 12 and I still to this day cannot go to the bathroom or take a shower without her deciding she needs to have a conversation or use my flat iron right then. Did I mention she has her own bathroom?? Someday this is going to stop…right?

Molly 3 years ago

No Doubt. I am at 21 weeks and have spent the last 3 mornings using the kitchen sink. UGH.

Christine 3 years ago

Boogers…And the appetizing sight of a two track trail of green snot running down baby’s upper lip.

Susan 3 years ago

An untidy house all the time!
:)

Busywith4 3 years ago

I said 3 was enough…. My 4th is an IUD baby!! :) Good Luck

Carole C 3 years ago

LOL…. so WHERE was this before I had child #5!?! My baby is now 17, I’m a grandmother, and I’m NOT sharing this! I WANT MORE Grandchildren…the REAL reason we DO NOT kill our teenagers! ;O
To you dear people who take this seriously… LIGHTEN UP! And yes I think I experienced every one of these, at some point or another. I carried 6 babies full term. One was still born, so I fully appreciate how precious life it.

courtney j 3 years ago

52. Twins

Ondrea 3 years ago

Geez…this makes me never want to have kids…I want to be happy not burnt out for the rest of my life!!

Vanessa D. 3 years ago

Eeeew!!!! Ha ha ha!!!

Shel 3 years ago

HAHA best mommy brain moment for me was craving pizza and calling up a girlfriend to say we had to go to Boston Pizza for pizza if they were open (it was noon) and being devastated when she told me they didn’t serve pizza until after 3!! I was in tears, literally!!!

Rebecca 3 years ago

This list has made me not want to have a child cause it all seems so horrible…like what’s the point of it all?

Super depressing

Kammi 3 years ago

I have three kids a 9yr old D, a 6yr old S, and a 3yr old S. I am also 4 weeks pregnant and loving every minute of it. Of course there are down falls to having a baby, but the good outweighs the bad. It sounds that almost every women on here does not have one or either like my aunt who had one and went through a ruff labor and decided not to have another one, but most women don’t care about the negatives because there is so many things good about having a baby. It also sounds like most women on here don’t need the list they have the fact that they don’t like kids to push them to not have one

Sarah 3 years ago

These are too funny. I love the baby stage. My son who is 18 months now, was the sweetest little baby. Minus throwing up every time he had a boobie. Then he learned how to walk. I love watching him learn new things! I do not love that he climbs up everything! Plus I have incredible arm muscles now;)

kenzi 3 years ago

haha at first I thought you said “I have 6 or 7..” 😛

Danielle 3 years ago

Sigh. Everyone talks about the good and it is nice to be able vent and commiserate about the not so good. Looking forward to it all with my second in June.

grenadian dolly 3 years ago

dont worry,one smile from your baby will make your heart melt,according to moms near and far.but i wouldnt truly know.i’m childfree.

Ihatemykidsandlovemyblog! 3 years ago

I get the feeling that negative is the only way most of these people know how to be. Kids actually are pretty great, when they aren’t raised by hateful, selfish people.

Ihatemykidsandlovemyblog! 3 years ago

I think it’s funny how much you all hate your kids. They are purely your creation, so if you think they’re so horrible…No, really, it’s so CUTE how much you hate yourselves, then deliberately create children so you can blame THEM for your miserable lives. Spend all your time writing and bitching online instead of parenting, and then you blame THEM for being so awful, lol. Of course they’re awful; look who raised (or didn’t raise?) them! They don’t stand a chance of growing up to be decent people, but don’t they make wonderful best-seller material for the misery-market? LOL.

Stella 3 years ago

I think it’s sad that people are complaining so much when there’s people who are unable to conceive.

Mona 3 years ago

Don’t forget clogged ducts!

Krissy 3 years ago

They say if your first kid is a good kid then dont have anymore. Because you only get one.

klrobi 3 years ago

ah see my first was horrible my second is an angel

Mew 3 years ago

How about some reasons not to have kids that aren’t so negative?

You’ll be able to sleep through the night.
You’ll have more money for food, bills, and doing fun things.
You’ll have peace and quiet whenever you want it.
You can go wherever you want, whenever you want, without having to worry about getting a babysitter or dragging along the kids.

Ila 3 years ago

I’ll just add these to the 99 other reasons my husband and I have in a notebook….

Jenn R 3 years ago

THIS.

Katie 3 years ago

I actually meant to say Waiting for the day when everywhere I go stops being a group thing!! Hey its 6:30 am and Im changing a pee soaked baby, cut me some slack!!

Katie 3 years ago

Everytime I go to the bathroom, my mini entourage of 3 year old Talon and 11 month old Bentley are always a few steps behind!! EVERY SINGLE TIME!! Waiting for the day when everywhere I go turns into a group thing!!!

ann 3 years ago

You forgot about those days when the clean clothes you just put on your child end up looking like they we’re rolled in a bag of soil, minutes after walking out of the house.

kat 3 years ago

I find small children to be quite boring…and then they turn into horrific teenagers. Travel, sleep, and independence are much more important to me than having children.

Cassie 3 years ago

There is not one thing on this list that I haven’t personally dealt with, and yet here I am four and a half months pregnant with my second. Why couldn’t you have posted this 6 months ago?!

Laura Parker 3 years ago

This is effective for not having a baby. HEHEHEHE.

Denise 3 years ago

Someone told me the first child is a decoy for the second, she was right. These kids work together that way.

Diana Stanshop 3 years ago

Sex with the fetus in a middle. I like this. LOL.

Jess 3 years ago

This should come with a disclaimer. Do not read while eating a sandwich. Gagged not once, but twice.

The fence was starting to hurt my bum, and this is exactly what I needed to push me to the childfree side of the fence.

Thank you, thank you, and once again, thank you!

babyd10 3 years ago

Holy hell I looked like a fucking bank robber going through a laser trap on my squeaky wood floors when dd was tiny!LOL

Bambiv 3 years ago

Stephanie you named two big ones for me…hate the depression and hate the noise! Oh for peace and quiet. I’d keep the depression! lol

Bambiv 3 years ago

Jenn must not have kids or has 1 super baby. You don’t know you’ll feel this way until you have 1. I made sure I didn’t have a 2nd that is for sure!

Bambiv 3 years ago

Try going from a 12 to a 12 extra wide with no looking back :-(

regina 3 years ago

this is so funny. I guess having only an 8yo makes u forget about all the reasons not to have another one. thanks for reminding me 😉

Tia 3 years ago

Don’t be discouraged! I’m typing this with my left hand while nursing slouched over, holding my 3 month old daughter on my right arm…it’s ALL true, but made me laugh so hard I cried because it’s REALLY nice to know you’re not alone in experiencing this wacky stuff!

rizia 3 years ago

I love this post!! my son turns 5 in a few months and everyone keeps asking when number 2 is coming.. and I was very undecided as to whether I wanted another now or not.. just post reassured me that I definitely DON’T want another baby now.. thanks :)

Juli 3 years ago

I agree!!! If my 2nd was my first…there wouldn’t be a second!

Kari 3 years ago

Mommy brain… mine are 20 and 17, and I STILL look for my phone while talking on it. And yes, I would have another IN A HEARTBEAT if it was possible! If I had to add another “deterrent” it would be Hyperemesis Gravidarum. The reason we stopped at 2. :-/

Nurse mommy of 5 3 years ago

So right! And those kids turn into even WORSE…TEENAGERS!!!! I seriously thought as long as they could dress and feed themselves and even watch themselves life would be wonderful again…Boy was I wrong, I would rather have 5 school age kids anyday!

Tia 3 years ago

I always made sure that my mother or mother-in-law was around or was babysitting, for the most part, when fingernails needed to be cut. I can probably count on two hands how many fingernails I cut for my two children. I figure since they are all knowing, they can be all doing for any tasks I don’t like. That includes sewing button, darning socks and taking up hems and taking in pants/skirts.

Stacey 3 years ago

I think you just helped us make the irreversible decision. Thank you!

Patti 3 years ago

We just had our bonus baby 11 weeks ago (first 2 were fertility treatments). I came up with the best lesson for Sex Ed classes. Forget handing out condoms & fake babies, that just glorifies having sex. Instead for a week make kids walk around smelling like baby poop and baby puke. Make them go unshowered, wearing clothes with puke or poop stains, and sleep deprived. The will NEVER have sex.

Manticore 3 years ago

Zero sounds better to me.

Sam 3 years ago

Nothing could change my mind on having children .. I have six under seven and I love every min of being a mother and all the ups and downs that come with it….

Lizabeth 3 years ago

Or try a let down during sex when your hubby is squashing your squirt guns and they accidentally backfire.

katie 3 years ago

I thought I wasn’t going to have any kids, actually told my mother it wasn’t going to happen. Then last year I had my daughter. After reading this, some of it happened and a lot didn’t. Sure, sometimes it was hard to deal with, but I have to say that the baby stage goes by soooo quickly. And sure, they turn into kids, but I find it fascinating at how they learn and what they learn. It’s so rewarding. BUT I also have to agree…if you don’t want a kid, don’t have one. We don’t need anymore unwanted kids.

Ruby Kate 3 years ago

Acupuncture finally lifted mine after 10 + years. That & leaving my husband;)

stephanie 3 years ago

you forgot the biggest one. post partum depression. that doesn’t ever fully lift – even after 7.5 years. that and the noise. the never-ending noise.

Jennifer 3 years ago

Bath time… so sweet and fun at first. Four years later when you are still having to do it, not so much.

And, those little meat sticks they eat when they are moving to a solid diet. Those things are so nasty.

kate 3 years ago

well this would have been better for me if i still didnt have a 14 monthd old. a good half still apply. ugh. i’ll just keep telling myself, 3 is enough! 3 is enough!

Amber 3 years ago

I am not deterred. Especially after reading your other post that you just wrote. This is probably bad news.

HorridBabyNames 3 years ago

Your “reasons” not to have a baby sound more like reasons to have one. If you wanted to get serious about not having a baby, use better reasons. These are pretty lame.

danielle 3 years ago

Amen!!

beach Girl 3 years ago

And yet, people are doing this again and again…

Allison @ Motherhood, WTF? 3 years ago

I’ve been told that my family is excellent birth control as well. Good thing I’m also not easily offended. Someone (a 24 year old, single, size two chick) once told me, “You certainly don’t make it look easy.” Uh, thanks? That’s cause it’s not easy, fuck you very much!

Love the list. I’d add trying to still be a wife (read: have sex) after dealing with kids all day.

@sarahmommabeara 3 years ago

We have a seven year old and an almost five month old. He wants three more, starting asap……

Scary Mommy 3 years ago

OMG, the laundry. The laundry killed me! But, I’m now in pool towel hell, so at least that shit was cute in comparison.

Scary Mommy 3 years ago

I went from a 7 to an 8, too. I’m still pissed off about that one.

Scary Mommy 3 years ago

Oh, the drool. How could I forget about the drool?!

Scary Mommy 3 years ago

I got tired. I think with help, we could probably make it to 1000!

Scary Mommy 3 years ago

Ugh, yes.

Chrissy 3 years ago

I have a 16 yr old ds, 13 yr old dd, 12 yr old dsd and a 3 year old dd! I think I need to start my liquor cabinet soon!

beth 3 years ago

I’m 8 weeks pregnant with my 1st this is only the beginning… :(

Christine @ Quasi Agitato 3 years ago

You had me at number one. I am right there with ya sister.

Corey Feldman 3 years ago

If it were up to me I’d have a whole lot of them, but sadly it is not.

Laura 3 years ago

How about cleaning up the stream of poop dripping from your baby as she swings back and forth? That was one of my favorites.

Also, cleaning up puked-up grape juice that dripped UNDER the carseat … several months to late to ever get the seat clean again.

Steph 3 years ago

omg. i had totally forgotten about baby crib sheets. thanks for the memories:)

HoldOnPumpkin 3 years ago

Omg, steralizing bottles! Ef! I’m soo glad I don’t have to worry as much about that any more. I once left the microwave steralizer in the microwave for 20minutes!

Kristin 3 years ago

Exactly why I’m scared to have another; my first is sooooo good, I know I’m more likely to get struck by lightening then have a second one this good.

BeenThere Donethat 3 years ago

I have one: Those cute, funny little toddlers grow into smart-mouthed, know-it-all teens!

BeenThere Donethat 3 years ago

Warning: My first one was so good and so easy I wondered why people complained. I actually thought maybe I’m just born to do this. I decided that I could have six and be another Mary Poppins. Then I had my second. He disproved genetics, looked nothing like my first, acted nothing like my first, and was the last person I ever gave birth to!

Joyce 3 years ago

Just live with pre teens and teens for a month. That’s all you need for birth control.

The Flying Chalupa 3 years ago

Oh, the stiff neck from the rocking chair! Or from bringing the baby (finally) into bed with you and lying precariously on one side.

Yours in sleep deprivation,
Chalupa

Rachel Voorhees 3 years ago

All of these reasons are why my IUD is my best friend.

Angel 3 years ago

It is called SARCASM , perhaps you could learn about it before coming to what is known as a sarcastic, tongue in cheek blog that talks about parenting in REALITY so the rest of us don’t think we are alone .. geesh someone needs a time out..

Jane Addison 3 years ago

My youngest is now 9 1/2 and I’d forgotten most of them, will print out and stick this up to read whenever I feel broody :)

June O’Hara 3 years ago

I’ve long suspected that if you have a baby, you need to take care of it. A deterrent, if ever there was one.

Sex with a fetus in the middle…LOL!

Angela 3 years ago

Funny thing is that I’m good with almost everything on this list and most people’s comments – toddlers & teenagers are a piece of cake compared to that dreaded F-word: four year old.

galpod 3 years ago

I would add: having a mommy brain (for instance, looking for your phone WHILE TALKING ON THE PHONE). Also, being controlled by the alien forces called hormones (for instance, crying like a stupid baby every time that P&G commercial comes on).

Sara Thompson 3 years ago

I actually tore the ligament in my wrist carrying my son’s carrier when he was a baby. I have to tell you that made life really fun since I couldn’t use my right hand for six weeks.

Elaine 3 years ago

OhMyGawd you just COMPLETELY reinforced why I had my tubes tied last time. Yeah….

Lollie ~ The Fortuitous Housewife 3 years ago

Blonde highlights accented with diarrhea and/or vomit streaks in 3-day dirty tresses.

lesbomom 3 years ago

A. MEN!!!

Guerrilla Mom 3 years ago

I can’t believe he said that to you. What a jerk!

Denise Malloy 3 years ago

Make that 51 reasons – kids turn into TEENAGERS!

jenn 3 years ago

This is riduculous… if people really feel this way then they should definitely not reproduce…

Lynn Kellan 3 years ago

And may I add another item to your list? …TUITION!!!!

Arnebya 3 years ago

Oh, but it’s all so rewarding! (insert evil laugh)

CK 3 years ago

I must have been delusional the entire first year as none of the items listed above bothered me! Maybe I just have a different perspective after having such a difficult pregnancy.

Kmama 3 years ago

Many of those items on your list is why it took us so long to decide whether or not we wanted a third.

Turns out, I have amnesia. I’m due in February.

Tori 3 years ago

You forgot sneezing and peeing at the same time because those muscles are not what they used to be!

Anna 3 years ago

#19 is my main one – having to sneak around the house like a ninja warrior to make sure i don’t wake the baby.

Mary 3 years ago

#51 – don’t have another one because you secretly want to keep being a stay at home Mom and you know you’re expected to go back to work when the kids are in school. Can’t tell you how many Dads I know who were presented with “Surprise” third and fourth children because of this…

Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes 3 years ago

51. The laundry that comes with a newborn
52. The first poop after they have eaten solids for the first time.
53. Potty training
54. De-pacifier-ing

Ann Fantom 3 years ago

Well, these are really true reasons.

VANESSA 3 years ago

Just when I was getting ready to try to have another one, I read this! lol.

Shanan 3 years ago

Oh yes! # 32 is so true and I # 48 makes me want to cry just thinking about it. So yep three it is for me too!

Jessica 3 years ago

Agreed… Only… I still want another because none of that really bothers me. Not that it will happen since hubby got fixed. :( I’m going to be one of those crazy strangers who stare at pregnant women in the grocery store.

Lynette 3 years ago

How about #50… Then they turn into TEENAGERS! Yowza! Though I liked the comment about getting a liquor cabinet and putting a lock on it.

Tatum 3 years ago

I have one to subtract – 9th month of pregnancy. I’ve never had it but can’t imagine that it’s worse than the 10 and 183 day NICU stays.

And I’ll replace that with, Skidmarks. Constant, Thick and Chunky Skidmarks on a child that’s been very capably potty trained for quite some time.

Pshellenber4 3 years ago

Nah..After the 3rd NOTHING phases you…And after the 4th the tubal kinda fixes any stupid thoughts you might have. Drunk/stoned/on acid,..

Jessica 3 years ago

Yes. Amen. Preach it.

Theresa 3 years ago

Hahaha! So true! Although, my biceps are even, thanks to twins. But that also means the 9th month of pregnancy was extra hellish. Never EVER want to do THAT again.

Michelle 3 years ago

for #46, I had a double stroller!!

Kristin 3 years ago

Oh God. I’m pregnant with #2 and I had forgotten about some of those things. Hyperventilating… Right now I’m back in the “puke in the kitchen sink” stage as well as a “must sing If You’re Happy and You Know It over and over again in the car to keep toddler from screaming” phase…

Kristen Mae 3 years ago

Yeah I just recently had to face the fact that I now wear a size eight shoe, when I’ve always been a seven. And all that other crap too, though I have to admit I do find Baby Einstein videos strangely hypnotic.

Hilarious (and oh-so-true) post! :)

onSanity 3 years ago

a classic….

Vanessa 3 years ago

Add a lock to the liquor cabinet at the same time.

amber 3 years ago

Eeeek. Just because I can’t I want those things. Thank goodness I have one. Who’s turning 8. Off to watch a baby story!

Sara 3 years ago

You forgot people making passive-aggressive comments about your kids being kids.

I am numb to pretty much everything on here except #21. I am pregnant with #4, my oldest is 6, and I still check them all several times a night.

Nikki 3 years ago

This is the best natural birth control ever. Sell this to sex education in schools, you’ll make millions!

Veronica 3 years ago

I’m in the Tweens & Teens stages… and finally gave into the fact that my feet are going to stay this size… :(

I suggest all of you stock up your liquor cabinets for when your babies reach these turbulent years!

Summer 3 years ago

None of the scares me away from having another baby. Maybe it’s because my first one is so good and has been from birth. I don’t like having to deal with many of the things on this list, but I don’t mind having to deal with those things when it comes to being a mom.

Tova Darling 3 years ago

Yes, yes and yes.

Also – being peed on, drooled on and pooped on.

Kathy V. 3 years ago

I have a 15 month old, and the husband is already talking about having another. I’m going to print out a copy of this and make him read it every time he mentions another baby. I may also try to track down some brochures on vasectomies, just to be on the safe side.

Roo @ NiceGirlNotes 3 years ago

Well, I need a drink.

3 kids. Eldest turns four this month. *throws up suburban mom gang signs*

:)

Marlyce Keenan 3 years ago

OMG I can relate to EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. Plus a few more (which I would now cleverly list if I could think of if I wasn’t so sleep deprived after having 3 babies in 3 1/2 years) but my SIL and a few others have made similar comments about my kids being birth control too….

Kelly {the Centsible Life} 3 years ago

#50 only works if you know what being a parent to kids is like. You think babies are hard? Just, wait.

Lisa 3 years ago

Letdown – and the moment your realize you aren’t wearing breastpads and you are suddenly warm & wet

**Maybe we can make it 100 reasons, lol**

Stephanie 3 years ago

Oh, I needed this. I needed this bad.

Jennifer 3 years ago

Well, that was very depressing, considering I’m 6months pregnant!

Alison 3 years ago

I have one too – Diaper assplosions.

Oh wait, another – Not knowing what a hot meal or a hot drink is anymore.

Wait, wait, last one – Stress incontinence.

Ali 3 years ago

Ditto. I’m laminating it, so it lasts!

anymommy 3 years ago

Sigh. I’d type a “hell yes” if I could get this damn ring off my finger.

Tanya Doyle 3 years ago

51. Baby poop under your nails.

Kim 3 years ago

Best birth control ever!!!

Jenn 3 years ago

And this is why I’m going tomorrow morning for an IUD – 3 is enough!!!

Mom Off Meth 3 years ago

I got one.

Twins

Stephanie 3 years ago

I am going to have to print this out and tape it to the bathroom mirror. You know, in case I get any ideas.