My Husband And I Made A 'Sex Painting' And It Hangs On Our Wall
They say a picture is worth a thousand words … and that is definitely the case for a sexy new fad that’s landed on our radars lately.
Love art – yes, that kind of love art – has hit our shores. The Love Is Art kit provides couples with everything they need to make their own masterpiece … with their body parts … while “doing the do!”
I decided to try it to see what the fuss was about and to find out if it mattered that I aced art class. Would it be a skill I could make horizontal?
As I opened the kit, I wondered what my art teacher would say. I’d picked the blue kit because I wanted it to match the color scheme of our home. Yes, I really did plan to hang it on the wall.
While the kit gives you everything you need to make the — ahem — art, you will need to take the canvas to a professional to be stretched. Once you’ve done the deed, that is. Or if you want to avoid an awkward conversation, you can make the frame at home like we did.
The box contained a canvas, a plastic drop sheet, some very vibrant blue paint, two sets of cloth booties and a loofah to help scrub off the paint afterwards.
Before setting up, we looked up some reviews – let’s just say I was starting to get a little nervous about getting paint everywhere. And I don’t just mean on the carpet.
The biggest recommendation was to use a soft surface to lay the canvas down that is not the bed, so no concrete floors, as one reviewer found out the hard way! The instructions in the kit do mention that the bed is not the place to do this, as the canvas can warp, and the outcome will most likely be a big solid blob of paint. A butt shaped blob of paint.
With that in mind, we moved some furniture to clear a space on the bedroom floor carpet. We put down the plastic drop cloth and then the canvas itself. Like many millennials, we rent, so we made sure to lay a path of towels from the canvas to the bathroom across the hall. We did not want to have to explain anything to the landlord.
It may also be worth noting that if you live with others, you will need to pick a time where you are guaranteed to have the house to yourself for a couple of hours if you don’t want to explain the drying canvas on the floor. (Or the fact that you’re naked and covered in blue paint.)
It’s also a good idea to kick any pets outside for a bit too – you don’t want a random paw print appearing on the canvas. And you don’t want to traumatize your cat.
Our biggest concern, other than a fear the paint might not come off and we’d end up looking like Smurfs, was that it would end up looking like a big blue blob in the middle of the canvas. We placed some tape on the canvas to try to address this.
With the canvas all set up, the cat kicked outside, and the paint on standby, we got down to it on the bed next to the canvas. Once warmed up and ready to move on to the canvas, there was a slight intermission as we dripped the paint from the bottle randomly across the canvas.
It is also recommended to pour most of the paint on the canvas, rather than on the body, in order to cover a larger area. Surprisingly, the paint dried rather quickly, so once on the canvas the movements did spread the paint a fair bit — but if a spot wasn’t touched right away, then that spot was a deeper blue as the color set into the canvas.
In all honesty, it wasn’t the most romantic setting in the world. The paint made keeping our balance tricky, and even the carpeted floor wasn’t particularly comfortable. There was a lot of laughing.
Once we’d finished our… umm … art, we popped the booties on and made our way to the bathroom to wash off the paint. The added loofah in the kit was helpful, because the paint dried fast.
We had to do a fair bit of scrubbing. The kit does also say that the cleaning is for your partner to do, so it adds another element of intimacy to the experience. Being scrubbed down didn’t feel that sexy, but we did have another giggling fit, so that was fun.
After washing the paint off, we chilled out for a while as we waited for the canvas to fully dry.
The following day we purchased the wood needed to stretch the canvas, as well as a clear coat sealant to spray over the canvas once it had been stretched.
So am I a sex-Michelangelo now? The frame was more Basquiat if he was in kindergarten – but I love the finished result. Every time we look at it we laugh. Nobody really knows what it is, but we do. We know just how much effort was put into it!
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