Sexting is fun! So fun, in fact, that if you asked your most honest girlfriends, nearly all of them would readily admit to doing it. Sexting is a safe, flirty, and creative way to spice things up when your bae is far away or you’re quarantining separately. The best part is that no matter how far you go, you never have to worry about STIs or “bonus babies.” Whether you’re trying to lure your other half home from work early or just want to make sure your new lover knows how badly you want them while you’re apart, sexting is a marvelous option to close the distance no matter what stage of the relationship you’re in.
The key to sexting is to be a saucy distraction. And, who couldn’t use a distraction during our new lives in quarantine? That’s what you’re striving for here. Whether you leave your lover aroused or walk them through to the finish is up to you, your partner, and the time you have. But for those among us who are novices, the most important thing to remember is be honest about your desires, keep the texts short and to the point, and ease into it to take the chat from lukewarm to scalding hot.
These sexting examples will walk you all the way from beginning to toe-curling end… if you push it that far. Feel free to spice up — or down — whatever your comfort level may be.
Before you fire off a few super-racy sexts, let’s establish some ground rules. Namely, just like with any other kind of sex, you should always ask first. Seek consent and get it before engaging in sexting. Yes, even in a committed relationship — after all, in addition to the fact consent should be a non-negotiable, the person on the receiving end of your sexy messages might not be in an ideal moment (like mid-work-presentation).
- The first thing you’re doing when you get here is ME.
- I miss you pulling my hair.
- So, I’m watching porn. It’s time to up our game.
- Ugh, bored. If you were here, where would you touch me?
- What are you doing tonight? It better be me!
- I demand one toe-curling, neighbor-waking hour for every day you’re away.
- Just had a steamy dream… wanna know the deets?
- So, do you want me in sexy lingerie next time you see me?
- What do you think, how many licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
- I feel like being bad tonight. Wanna join?
- Do you remember that thing you did to me in bed the other night?
- Can you guess why I’m so sore?
- I’m imagining how you would look riding me right now.
Keeping Things Going
The trick to continuing a satisfying sext exchange is to keep it natural and logical. (Note: We didn’t say “realistic.”) Not everyone pictures things in their heads, but if you can try to imagine what you’re sexting about, it’ll go a long way to helping you keep things moving.
- Let’s not waste time taking each others’ clothes off.
- Want to know my favorite move?
- Can’t stop thinking about you; it’s making me tingly.
- Eye contact during sex: Yes or no?
- I know it’s not your birthday, but I think I still owe you a treat.
- Dessert is on me tonight — literally.
- Oh my god. If it’s just like THIS next time you’re here, it’ll be even better than (insert previously agreed upon best sex ever).
- I want you to undress me with your teeth.
- I want to write the alphabet with my tongue inside of you.
- I want to arch my back into your body.
- I want to hear you beg for it.
Wrapping Things Up
Ending your little excursion into the darker side of texting can be the hardest part. Everyone “finishes” in a different style. Focus on sharing what you think you do when you’ve reached your O. Whether you’ve been together forever or with someone new, they’ll love picturing the effect they have on you.
- I don’t want to finish until you tell me I’m allowed.
- Babe, I’m a mess. Won’t last much longer!
- I’m going to need to do laundry after this.
- Can’t wait until we’re doing this IRL.
- Come. Here. Now.
- I’m literally shivering in anticipation.
- If this is how it is over the phone, I don’t know if I’ll survive the real thing.
- I’ve got something very special planned for you when we meet up.
- How long ’till I get to the center of it? 😉
- I’m literally squirming in anticipation thinking about you.
- I keep imagining every position I want to explore with you.
- You better keep all this in mind next time we see each other.
- Slithered into bed but it’s not the same without you here.
- I want to wake up to more of this tomorrow morning.
- If you were here, I’d make sure it was a good night for both of us.
- What’s your goodnight fantasy? We can work on making it come true next time.
- I want you to make me shake. Now.
- I’m here, ready and willing, for you to have your way with me.
- All I can think about is you bending me over something and giving it to me hard.
- Cum finish me off, please.
- I can’t wait to feel your tongue on my clitoris.
- I’d love to tug on your balls right now.
- I want you to pound me hard.
- I get so wet when you touch me.
- I want you to do me so slowly that I scream out in pleasure.
A Final Note
While sexting is a completely natural and healthy way to express sexuality among adults, we are unfortunately living in the age of revenge porn and hacking scandals. So, always practice reasonable caution. “Sexting can be a great way to connect intimately with a partner when you are not together in the same location, when you are wanting to spice up your sex life, or when you are exploring your own sexuality or your sexuality with a new partner,” psychotherapist Melissa Coats tells Insider. The owner of Coats Counseling, LLC added, “Unfortunately, there are times when people take advantage of an experience that should be safe and fun. Just like it is always preferable to enact safe sex and consent practices, it is just as important to practice safe and consensual sexting.”
Be cognizant of what you say and to whom, and be mindful of the photos you send. Other than that, enjoy!