44 Memorable Ted Mosby Quotes About Love, Loss, And Friendship

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 
ted mosby quotes
20th Century Fox Television

Ted Mosby is the Charlotte York of How I Met Your Mother. There, we said it, now hear us out. Played ever so earnestly by Josh Radnor, Ted is a die-hard romantic, he believes in love and soulmates, he’s a devoted friend, and he wears his heart on his sleeve. Over the hit series’ nine-season run, we watched Ted fall in love, get his heart broken, dust himself off, and try again, and again, and again. All with the help of the show’s resident Casanova, Barney Stinson, and his epic Playbook.

In fact, for a series about a man’s endless search for the perfect monogamous relationship, Ted sure had his share of flings and love affairs. Luckily for us, all those experiences not only offered the viewers comedy but also Ted’s most memorable and insightful quotes about love, life, loss, and friendship. (Oh, and maybe also architecture, his first true love.) So we rounded up the best Ted Mosby quotes for all his and How I Met Your Mother‘s biggest fans. They are legen…wait for it…dary!

Looking for more quotes from your favorite TV shows? Check out our quotes pages from Seinfeld, Friends, Parks and Recreation, and more!


1. “Everyone has an opinion on how long it takes to recover from a breakup.”

2. “But love doesn’t make sense. You can’t logic your way into or out of it. Love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it, or else we’re lost, and love is dead, and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the biggest thing we do.” 3. “If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing anyway?” 4. “Because sometimes even if you know how something’s gonna end, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the ride.” 5. “The great moments of your life won’t necessarily be the things you do, they’ll also be the things that happen to you.” 6. “I wound up shame-eating the whole pizza. I woke up all greasy and sweaty. My sheets looked like what they wrap deli sandwiches in. Maybe I should join a gym. Do you go to a gym?” 7. “If you’re looking for the word that means caring for someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you, it’s love. And when you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes, or call you crazy, even then, especially then.” 8. “Long-distance is a lie teenagers tell each other to get laid the summer before college.” 9. “Oh, right I forgot. You guys are weird, and you pronounce the word ‘out,’ ‘oot.’” 10. “Look, I know the odds are the love of my life isn’t going to magically walk through that door in a pumpkin costume at 2:43 in the morning. But it just seems as nice a spot as any to just, you know, sit and wait.” 11. “Some couples always support each other, and some couples always challenge each other. But is one really better than the other? Yes. Support is better. Way better.” 12. “Whether a gesture’s charming or alarming depends on how it’s received.” 13. “There are two big days in any love story. The day you meet the girl of your dreams and the day you marry her.” 14. “I finally found the one, Marshall. Her name is Bacon.” 15. “Just like Ryan Gosling in The Notebook. It was pretty manly ’til I mentioned Ryan Gosling in The Notebook, huh?” 16. “Here’s the thing about mistakes: Sometimes, even when you know something’s a mistake, you gotta make it anyway.” 17. “I used to be in such a hurry all the time. Everything was so urgent. Now I figure, if it’s going to happen, it’ll happen when it happens. I’m not going anywhere. She’s not going anywhere. What’s the rush, right?” 18. “You can ask the universe for signs all you want, but ultimately we’ll only see what we want to see when we’re ready to see it.” 19. “Shouldn’t we hold out for the person who doesn’t just tolerate our little quirks, but actually kind of likes them?” 20. “Sorry, Peter. We’re grown-ups now. We can’t fly to Neverland with you anymore.” 21. “I’m sorry; when I’m excited I abbreviate words I shouldn’t.” 22. “Nothing good happens after 2 a.m. When 2 a.m. rolls around, just go home and go to sleep.” 23. “You will be shocked, kids, when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That’s why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it.” 24. “It’s funny sometimes you walk into a place and you know you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.” 25. “Kids, when you’re in a new relationship and you’re competing with your ex for who’s happier, it can get ugly.” 26. “The more you fight it, the worse it’s gonna get. It’s like when your car slides on ice, you stir into the skid.” 27. “You can’t cling to the past, because no matter how tightly you hold on, it’s already gone.” 28. “Here’s the secret, kids. None of us can vow to be perfect. In the end, all we can do is promise to love each other with everything we’ve got. Because love’s the best thing we do.” 29. “There are a lot of little reasons why the big things in our lives happen.” 30. “We’re going to get older whether we like it or not, so the only question is whether we get on with our lives, or desperately cling to the past.” 31. “The littlest thing can cause a ripple effect that changes your life.” 32. “It’s kind of insane how much happened in just a day and a half.” 33. “People make fun of the guy who stays home every night doing nothing, but the truth is that guy is a genius.” 34. “She walks down the aisle. You say your vows, you go to the reception, you have your first dance. Before you know it, just like magic, you realize it’s a perfect fit.” 35. “But that’s the funny thing about destiny — it happens whether you plan it or not. It turns out I was just too close to the puzzle to see the picture that was forming.” 36. “And that’s how it goes, kids. The friends, neighbors, drinking buddies, and partners in crime you love so much when you’re young, as the years go by, you just lose touch.” 37. Ted: “Singles tables are cruel. I mean what if you went to a wedding and there was a table of all fat guys?” Marshall: “That would be awesome.” 38. Ted: “It’s funny. In a moment like that, when what’s really happening is too intense to deal with, sometimes it’s best…” The Mother: “…To leave it unspoken and just enjoy each other’s company instead.” 39. Barney: “I need you to help me pick the suit I’m gonna wear when I walk down the aisle.” Ted: “Ok, Robin walks down the aisle you wait at the end of it.” Barney: “Ok then the suit I’ll be wearing when they all stand as I enter the chapel.” Ted: “Also her.” 40. Ted: “Five bucks says she still wants Marshall.” Robin Scherbatsky: “You’re on.” Ted: “Five American bucks.” Robin Scherbatsky: “Dammit!” 41. Barney: “I’m telling you, you should use the architect angle with the ladies.” Ted: “First of all, I have a girlfriend. Second, the architect angle doesn’t even work on her. And third, I can’t imagine that working on anyone, ever.” Barney: “That’s ’cause you’re always like, (In a mopey, loser-ish voice) ‘Ted Mosby, architect’.” 42. Ted Mosby: (Seeing Robin eat cereal) “That looks good. I’ll have some of that.” Robin Scherbatsky: “Sorry. No milk.” Ted Mosby: “But I just saw a carton of milk in the fridge yesterday.” Robin Scherbatsky: “It’s empty.” Ted Mosby: “Then throw it away.” Robin Scherbatsky: “Can’t. Trashcan’s full.” Ted Mosby: “So empty the trash.” Robin Scherbatsky: “I would, but I’m eating cereal.” 43. “It’s like Descartes says, ‘In order to determine whether we can know anything with certainty, we first have to doubt everything we know.’” 44. “We gotta wait for the real thing, no matter how tough it gets.”

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