Got a unicorn lover in your family? From magical, mystical coloring pages to unicorn snacks, unicorn clothes and unicorn parties, you’re probably unicorn’d out. We get it. After a unicorn Christmas and a unicorn Easter, you’re completely over it. However, we’re about to make your life even more uni-noying. How? By giving you a massive list of mostly kid-friendly unicorn jokes. Will you find these hysterical? Probably not. But, let’s face it, Mama: These unicorn jokes aren’t for you: They’re for your little fairy princess or prince. They believe in magic, glitter trails, and pots of gold. You can believe in these jokes… if you have coffee and even a shred of patience left. If these don’t tickle your fancy? Well, we have plenty of other jokes to share with your family of jokesters, too. For now, though, check out these fantastically fun and magically corny jokes. (See what we did there?)
Sparklingly Silly Unicorn Jokes Part 1
1. Did you hear about the unicorn with a negative attitude?
She always said neigh.
2. What street do unicorns live on?
3. What game should you never play with a unicorn?
4. What is the difference between Justin Bieber and a unicorn?
One is a magical creature found in little girls’ dreams and the other is just a unicorn
5. What do unicorns eat for breakfast?
6. What did the mythical creature serve at his barbecue?
Unicorn on the cob
7. What do unicorns call their dad?
8. If hay is for horses, what’s for unicorns?
9. Why did the unicorn want to join the school band?
So he could wear a uni-form.
10. What do you call a unicorn who got a flu shot?
11. Which state do unicorns like most?
12. Why did the unicorn cross the road?
Because it wanted to see its neighbours.
13. Why’d the little unicorn get sent to bed without supper?
She wouldn’t stop horsing around at the dinner table
14. Why was the unicorn such a good guitar player?
He knew all the uni-chords.
15. Why do unicorns like silly jokes?
Because they’re uni-corny.
Unicorn Jokes Part 2
16. Where do naughty unicorns go?
17. Unicorns never horse around — they get right to the point.
18. How do unicorns get to the park?
On a unicycle.
19. What do you call a unicorn with no horn?
20. What do unicorn moms bake on Sunday?
21. Where did the unicorn gallop off to after the thunderstorm?
Somewhere over the rainbow.
22. What do you call it when a unicorn wakes up for a midnight snack?
23. How does the unicorn display the spoils from her Fall harvest?
With a unicornicopia
24. Why do unicorns listen to polkas?
They like to hear unicordians.
25. What’s the best type of story to tell a runaway unicorn?
A tale of whoa!
26. What’s black and white and eats like a unicorn?
27. What was the unicorns favorite type of a story?
A fairy tail.
28. What do you call a unicorn with large eyelashes?
29. What do you get if you cross a unicorn and a cow?
30. What looks like half a unicorn?
The other half
Unicorn Jokes Part 3
31. What card game do unicorns play?
32. Where do unicorns go to ride the merry go round?
33. Unicorns are real; they’re just big, grey, and called rhinos.
34. What do you call a scary unicorn?
35. What do you get if you cross a unicycle and a cob of corn?
You get a unicorn.
36. Why can you always trust what a unicorn says?
They’re no bull.
37. What’s the difference between a unicorn and an honest politician?
Nothing. They’re both fictional characters.
38. What is the difference between a unicorn and a carrot?
One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.
39. Which side of a unicorn has the most hair?
40. How do you know that a unicorn has been in your house?
They leave glitter everywhere!
41. What did the unicorn say when it fell?
I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup.
42. What do you call a fancy unicorn?
43. Why did the princess prefer her unicorn to her pony?
Her pony horsed around too much.
44. What is the unicorn’s favorite sport?
45. Why did the unicorn run across the road?
It was late for horse-story class.
How About Some Truly Silly Unicorn Pick Up Lines, Too?
Grown-ups can like unicorns, too, right? Even if your partner isn’t exactly as obsessed with the mythological creatures as your kiddos, they’ll still get a kick out of these stellar adults-only unicorn-themed pick up lines. Which is your favorite?
46. Are you a unicorn? Because, baby, you seem like my perfect fantasy.
47. Girl, are you a unicorn? Because I would like to take you for a ride over the rainbow.
48. I hate to horn in on your night, but I just wanted to tell you that you must be a unicorn because you seem absolutely magical.
49. Do I look like a unicorn? Because you sure are making me horny.
50. A night with me is like riding a unicorn: You can do it every night, but it’ll always feel like a fantasy.
51. What do unicorns use for money?
52. Why didn’t the unicorn want to join the army?
She didn’t want to wear a uni-form.
53. What’s the difference between a unicorn and a carrot?
One is a funny beast and the other is a bun.
Magical (and funny) unicorn quotes
54. “‘The unicorn’, she said, ‘was a marvelous beast, shining with honor, wisdom and strength. Just to see him strengthened the soul.’” – Megan Lindholm
55. “A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view.” – Ron Sexsmith
56. “The unicorns were the most recognizable magic the fairies possessed, and they sent them to those worlds where belief in the magic was in danger of falling altogether. After all there has to be some belief in magic- however small- for any world to survive.” – Terry Brooks
57. “It’s not a unicorn – it’s a horse with a sword on its head that protects my hopes and dreams.” – Tad Quill & Gabrielle Allan
58. “The unicorn is not known for its horn, beauty, or purity; but for it’s strength and courage as one.” – Nicole Beckwith
59. “Unicorns are immortal. It is their nature to live alone in one place: usually a forest where there is a pool clear enough for them to see themselves — for they are a little vain, knowing themselves to be the most beautiful.” – Peter S. Beagle
60. “Wherever they may have come from, and wherever they may have gone, unicorns live inside the true believer’s heart. Which means as long as we can dream, there will be unicorns.” – Bruce Coville
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