55+ Dirty Knock Knock Jokes That Are Hilariously NSFW – Scary Mommy

55+ Dirty Knock-Knock Jokes That Are Not For Your Mother’s Eyes

April 2, 2020 Updated November 15, 2021

dirty knock knock jokes
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Welcome to school… because we’re about to school you in the art of the dirty joke. Yes, there’s an art to it. It should be naughty without being offensive. Toe the line of impropriety without crossing it. And never be humorous at the expense of others. OK, with that out of the way, let’s get to the funny stuff.

There’s just something about telling or hearing a risqué joke you know will get you in trouble with your mother (regardless of your age) that is just so funny. And it doesn’t get any better in knock-knock joke form. Everything about a dirty knock knock screams high school hallways and we’re here for it. 

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So are dirty knock knock jokes immature? Hell yeah. They’re probably in the same category as dirty riddles, puns, fart jokes (and maybe even dirty truth or dare). But whether you’re 14, 34, or 54, laughing at the ludicrous is good for the soul. So with that in mind, we’ve rounded up some NSFW knock knock jokes that are just bad enough to not be OK at work, but dirty enough to make your raunchiest friend giggle.

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dirty knock knock jokes
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1. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Woz.
Woz who?
Up your wazoo!

2. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Jamaican.
Jamaican who?
Jamaican me horny.

3. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Europe.
Europe who?
I AM NOT A POO! HOW DARE YOU.

4. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
School.
School who?
School your ass.

5. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Asshole!
Asshole who!
Open the door and find out, asshole!

6. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Fuck you said.
Fuck you said who?
“Me!”

7. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Some!
Some who?
Some asshole talking to a knock-knock joke.

8. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bull.
Bull who?
Bullshitter!

9. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tara.
Tara who?
Tara McClosoff.

10. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Centipede.
Centipede who?
Centipede (Santa peed) on the Christmas tree.

11. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
I eat mop.
I eat mop who?
You eat your poo?! Gross!

12. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not someone.
Not someone who?
Not someone who will get you laid.

13. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Help madam finger is stuck in the door.

14. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
(Sexy voice) Who would you like it to be?

15. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
You’re just in time to hear me fart!

16. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Amos.
Amos who?
A mosquito bit me!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Andy.
Andy who?
And he bit me again!

17. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben who?
Ben down and lick my boots!

18. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ivanna Seymour.
Ivanna Seymour who?
Ivanna Seymour Butts.

19. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Parton!
Parton who?
Parton my French!

20. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ivana.
Ivana who?
Ivana kiss your lips off.

21. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ivan.
Ivan who?
Ivan to do something naughty with you!

22. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Amanda.
Amanda who?
Amanda lay you, your lonely nights are over!

23. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anita!
Anita who?
Anita you right now!

24. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Idaho!
Idaho who?
I da hoe? No! You da hoe!

25. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dewey!
Dewey who?
Dewey have a condom handy?

26. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not your wife.

27. Knock, knock.
Come in.
God damn it.

28. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tanaka!
Tanaka who?
Tanaka you up!

29. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anita!
Anita who?
Anita take a shit!

30. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Budweiser!
Budweiser who?
Budweiser dirty knock knock jokes so filthy?

31. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Khan!
Khan who?
Uh, oh, Khan-dom broke!

32. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Al!
Al who?
Al give you a kiss if you open this door!

33. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pileup!
Pileup who (pile of poo)?
Ewwwwwww.

34. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anita Colo.
Anita Colo who?
Anita Colonoscopy.

35. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ben Hur.
Ben Hur who?
Ben hur up!

36. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Urine.
Urine who?
Urine secure, don’t know what for.

37. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pasta.
Pasta, who?
Pasta beer, asshole!

38. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Nicholas!
Nicholas who?
Knickerless girls shouldn’t climb trees.

39. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Aldo!
Aldo who?
Fine, fine, Aldo you!

40. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Myra!
Myra who?
My right nut.

41. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Iguana.
Iguana who?
Iguana touch your butt.

42. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Kiss.
Kiss who?
Kiss me!

43. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream all night if you’re lucky.

44. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ben Dover.
Ben Dover who?
Ben Dover and I’ll give you a big surprise!

45. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Waiter.
Waiter who?
Waiter I get my hands on you.

46. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
May I come in?
May I come in who?
Not until we have a serious discussion about birth control.

47. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cam.
Cam who?
Camel toe… do you have any pants I can borrow?

48. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dozer.
Dozer who?
Dozer the biggest breasts I’ve ever seen.

49. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howie.
Howie who?
Howie gonna hide this affair from your husband?

50. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Baby owl.
Baby owl who?
Baby owl see you later at my place.

51. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gladiator.
Gladiator who?
Gladiator during the threesome.

52. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Foreskin!
Foreskin who?
The world’s greatest foreskin teller.

53. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo?
Boo who?
Stop crying, you pussy. It’s just a joke.

54. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bee.
Bee who?
I like the view from bee-hind you.

55. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Butch, Jimmy, and Joe.
Butch, Jimmy, and Joe who?
Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a big hot kiss, and let’s Joe!

56. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
King Henry the Second.
King Henry the Second, who?
King Henry, the second the queen leaves, we’ll bring in the girls!

57. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
When where.
When where who?
Tonight, my place, you and me.

58. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ima Reilly.
Ima Reilly who?
Ima Reilly excited to see you naked later.

59. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Do you want two CDs?
Do you want two CDs who?
Do you want to CDs banging body?

60. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Willis!
Willis who?
Willis be the first time I kiss you?