Contrary to what many people think, you don’t lose your dirty sense of humor as soon as you become a mom. Find dick jokes funny? Giggle at a solid double entendre? You’re not alone, and these 21 dirty puns are exactly what you came for.
- Yes, I have my period, and no, I’m not ovary acting.
- Having sex in elevators is amazing on so many levels.
- Ever had sex while camping? It’s fucking intense (in-tents).
- Lick me ’till ice cream.
- What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare? A sunken chest and no booty.
- What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snow balls.
- Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
- I’m trying to finish writing a script for a porno movie, but there are just too many holes in the plot.
- Constipation is such a pain in the ass.
- Diarrhea is hereditary — it runs in your jeans.
- What does a horny toad say? Rubbit.
- What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.
- My friend met a male porn actor the other day. She told me he was really cocky.
- My colleague can no longer attend next week’s Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead.
- A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.
- How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? It’s not hard.
- Let’s play carpenter. First we’ll get hammered. Then I’ll nail you.
- Santa’s sack is so big because he only comes once a year.
- Sex on TV can’t hurt unless you fall off.
- I got mad at my husband for pulling out. I told him it was a dick move.
- Dr. Pepper comes in a bottle because his wife died.
- That submarine is long, hard and full of seamen.
- It’s not that the man didn’t know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
Related: 19 Dirty Jokes To Tell Your Friends That You Can’t Help But Laugh At
