Everyone loves a good joke… even if that joke is technically “bad.” What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Honestly, it often depends on who’s telling the joke or who is listening. We thought about it for a while and here’s how we decided to tell the difference: If you laugh at a joke, it’s good and if you laugh or smile, but roll your eyes then it’s a “bad joke.” Groundbreaking, isn’t it?
Whether we’re straight-up laughing or doing a bit of eye-rolling, it doesn’t matter to us. A joke is a joke is a joke. All attempts at fun and humor are greatly appreciated. And, with Halloween always creeping closer, we’re ready to laugh at Halloween’s expense. We want witch jokes and zombie jokes. We even want pumpkin jokes. Right now, though, we’re here for the ghost jokes. Clearly you are, too. So, enjoy these amazingly ghoul’d (and boo’d) ghost jokes on us.
Let the Ghost Jokes Begin
1. Why did the ghost go into the bar?
For the Boos.
2. Why did the ghost starch his sheet?
He wanted everyone scared stiff.
3. What do you say when you catch a ghost?
4. Where do ghosts buy their food?
At the ghost-ery store!
5. How do you know when a ghost is sad?
He starts boo hooing.
6. What position does a ghost play in soccer?
7. Who did the ghost invite to his party?
Any old friend he could dig up.
8. What’s a little ghost’s favorite game?
Hide and shriek.
9. What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house?
Hope that it’s Halloween!
10. What’s the ghost’s favorite thing about Thanksgiving dinner?
11. What is a ghoul’s favorite flavor?
Lemon and slime.
12. Why do ghosts hate the rain?
It dampens their spirits.
Even More Punny Ghost Jokes
13. What room in a ghost’s house is most unnecessary?
The living room.
14. Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
15. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
16. When are ghosts the most scary?
17. What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet?
A hole-y terror.
18. Why are some ghosts so happy?
Every shroud has a silver lining.
19. What does a panda ghost eat for dinner?
20. Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale?
He’s a bargain haunter.
21. Why do ghosts and demons get along so well?
Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
22. What advice do ghosts give their children?
Only spook when spoken to.
23. What is in a ghost’s nose?
24. When do ghosts eat breakfast?
In the moaning.
Still More Ghost Jokes and Puns
25. What’s a monster’s favorite play?
Romeo and Ghouliet.
26. Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them!
27. What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces?
A toastie ghostie.
28. Where does a ghost go on vacation?
29. How do ghosts stay fit?
By exorcising daily.
30. Where did the ghost go on holiday?
31. Where the ghost go on holiday the next year?
32. What did the mama ghost say to her baby?
Fasten your sheet belt.
33. How did Scrooge end up with the football?
The ghost of Christmas passed.
34. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
35. What’s a ghoul’s favorite bean?
A human bean.
36. What do you call a truly funny ghost comedian?
Still More Ghost Jokes
37. Where do ghosts like to trick-or-treat?
38. Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets?
39. Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
No haunting license
40. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
41. Why can’t the boy ghost have babies?
Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
42. What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases
43. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
“Look at the board and I’ll go through it, again.”
44. What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room?
45. Why do ghosts like elevators?
They raise their spirits.
46. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
47. What do ghosts eat for supper?
48. What do ghosts use to wash their hair? Shamboo!
One Last Round of Ghost Jokes
49. Where do ghosts buy their food?
At the ghost-ery store.
50. Why do ghosts like to ride elevators?
It raises their spirits.
51. How do ghosts find out their future?
They read their horror-scopes.
52. Who did the ghost take to prom?
53. Where do ghosts like to trick or treat?
54. What kind of horse does a ghost ride?
55. Who do vampires buy their cookies from?
The Ghoul Scouts.
56. What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
He is mist.
57. What’s the teen ghost’s favorite kind of makeup?
58. What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg?
A hobblin’ goblin.
59. What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist?
His house was repossessed.
60. How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
61. What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
62. Why don’t mummies take vacations?
They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
63. What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
64. What’s the problem with twin witches?
You never know which witch is which.
65. What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
66. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
67. Why do mummies have so much trouble keeping friends?
They’re too wrapped up in themselves.
Punny Ghost Pick-up Lines
Most ghost jokes are going to be for your kiddos. But, what if you want to add a little goofy ghoulishness to your conversations with your partner? These pick-up lines are ghost themed and pretty cute. Shoot them over in a text, leave them on your lover’s Facebook wall or slip them onto a note in their wallet.
68. Are there any spirits in you?
Would you like one?
69. I think I’m a ghost because I’m willing to walk through fire and walls just to be with you.
70. Hey boo, am I dead or am I wilting for you?
71. I bet you’re a freak in the sheets. I mean a ghost.
72. I dressed up as a ghost… Wanna get under the sheets?
73. I’ve got that invisible touch.
74. If I could rearrange the cemetery, I’d put boo and I together.
75. Are you possessed by a ghost? Because you’re the only phenomenon I see.
76. Your grave or mine?
77. If I had arms, I’d hug you.
78. I’d never ghost you… not even on Halloween.
79. Will you be my boo?
80. I’m a ghoul for you.
81. Do you wanna hear a joke about ghosts?
That’s the spirit.
82. A ghost walks into a bar at 4 am.
The bartender says: “sorry, we don’t serve spirits after 3.”
83. What did the ghost say to his friend on the 4th of July?
Red, white, and boooo.
84. It’s scary how good you look.
85. Are you a monster, because you look Frankfine.
86. I’m not a bat but a night with me will turn your world upside down.
87. Are you a ghost? Because I think you should be my boo.
88. You must be a zombie, because you’re drop-dead gorgeous.
89. That skeleton over there said they’d get your number for me but they didn’t have the guts, so here I am.
90. Are you a bat? Because I sure am hung up on you.
91. The scariest thing about tonight is how good we’d look together.
92. Are you a mummy? Because you’re keeping your love for me under wraps.
93. I may be Dracula, but I don’t want to stay a bat-chelorette. Let’s go out.
94. Hey, wanna fang — I mean hang — out?
95. Are you a ghost? Because I can see right through to your soul.
96. I bet you’re a real freak in the sheets. Wait. Ghost. I meant I bet you’re a ghost. Happy Halloween?
97. Are you a ghost? Because I see you as my boo.
98. Can I be your boo?
99. I should have dressed as a ghost tonight so that I could get you under my sheets.
100. Are you’re a girl or a ghoul? Because you’ve been haunting my dreams.
101. Heeeeey, Boo! Got any room for me under that sheet?
102. Is there a ghost in your pants/dress? Because there’s definitely something paranormal happening under there.
103. Boy, I wanna die for you and then come back and haunt your bedroom.
This article was originally published on