"How You Doin'?" And 35+ Other Joey Tribbiani Quotes To Share With Friends

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 
joey tribbiani quotes
David Hume Kennerly/Getty

If Friends was the iconic pop culture mainstay that defined a generation of Gen-Xers getting a handle on this whole adulting thing, then “How you doin’?” must be the three words that sum up 1990s era TV the most. Joey Tribbiani (Matt LeBlanc), the affable Casanova with a heart of gold behind that famous line and countless others has such a devoted following fans are still quoting the funniest classic Joey lines 16 years after the series wrapped up its 10th season.

Friends has taught us a lot over the years. One, real friends are there for you through thick and thin. And two, New York City is tough, but manageable when you have a support system. So if you’re a Friends fan and your favorite character is Joey, you’ve come to the right place. All of the characters on the show were hilarious, but you could always count on Joey to say or do something ridiculous. He’s a sweetheart but also very dramatic.

So if you’re looking to go down Joey memory lane, or just looking for your next Instagram caption, we’ve rounded up the absolute best Joey Tribbiani quotes to get you through the day.

Looking for more quotes from the rest of the Friends cast? We have lines from Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, and Chandler!

RELATED: Just 50 Iconic Kardashian Quotes For When You’re Doing Amazing, Sweetie


1. Joey: “If he doesn’t like you, this is all a moo point.”

Rachel: “A moo point?” Joey: “Yeah. It’s like a cow’s opinion. It just doesn’t matter. It’s moo.”

2. “Well, the fridge broke, so I had to eat everything.”

3. “These are just feelings. They’ll go away.”

4. “Over the line? You’re so far past the line that you can’t even see the line! The line is a dot to you!”

5. “You can’t just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?”

6. “I like it. What’s not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Good.”

7. “Here come the meat sweats.”

8. “Look at me! I’m Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes?”

9. “That’s right, I stepped up! She’s my friend and she needed help. If I had to, I’d pee on any one of you!”

10. Joey: “Come on, Chandler. I want this part so much. Just one kiss. I won’t tell anyone.”

Chandler: “Joey, no means no!”

11. Ross: (About Joey’s finger in his mouth) “What is that taste?”

Joey: “What? My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath.”

12. Joey: “What happened to playing the field?”

Phoebe: “Well, it doesn’t feel like playing anymore, it feels like work. It’s like I’m working in the field!”

13. “You hung up on the pizza place? I don’t hang up on your friends.”

14. “I look a woman up and down and say, ‘Hey, how you doin’?'”


15. “I don’t like it when people take food off my plate, OK?”

16. “So why don’t you be a grown-up and come and watch some TV in the fort?”

17. Monica: “Joey, you know, maybe you’re just not used to kissing men. Maybe you just tensed up a little bit. Maybe that’s what you need to work on.”

Joey: “Yeah, that makes sense.” (Joey looks over at Ross) Ross: “Over my dead body.” (Joey looks over at Chandler) Chandler: “And I’ll be using his dead body as a shield.”

18. “I’m curvy and I like it.”

19. “Joey doesn’t share food!”

20. Joey: “Mr. Green, why don’t we go in the bedroom and put your coat on the bed?”

Dr. Green: “Uh, sure. That sounds like a two-person job.”

21. Joey: “Woah, woah, woah, uh, no Shannon Cooper.”

Phoebe: “Why not her?” Joey: “Cause she uh, she steals stuff.” Chandler: “Or maybe she doesn’t steal stuff and Joey just slept with her and never called her back.”

22. “Now, let’s go, baby. It’s food time. Bring it, bitch.”

23. “What am I gonna do? Keep trying to get rid of these feelings.”

24. “Food? Oh, give me!”

25. “Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.”

26. “You’ve been BAMBOOZLED!”

27. “It is a love based on giving and receiving, as well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving, we too can share and love and have and receive.”

28. Phoebe: “Je m’appelle Claude.”

Joey: “Jet aplee blooo.”

29. Chandler: “Condoms?”

Joey: “We don’t know how long we’re gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.” Chandler: “And condoms are the way to do that?”

30. Joey: “Suppose we’re a divorced couple.”

Chandler: “OK.” Joey: “And I got custody of the kid, right? Now, suppose the kid dies, and I gotta buy a new kid.”

31. “Alright, alright, alright. I was young, and I just wanted a job, OK? But at the last minute, I couldn’t go through with it. So they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can’t, ’cause there’s people havin’ sex on it.”

32. “It’s a known fact that women love babies, all right? Women love guys who love babies. It’s that whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack of babes over there.”

33. Chandler: “Hey, you cry every time someone mentions Titanic.”

Joey: “Those two only had each other!”

34. Monica: “Meg was good for me, but I dumped her. You know, my motto is, ‘Get out before they go down.'”

Joey: “That is so not my motto!”

35. “Everything’s fine, it’s just a little crush.”

36. Joey: “Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.”

Chandler: “Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.” Joey: “Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that story y’know.”

37. “We can stay up late talking and watching movies. And you know about naked Thursdays, right?”

38. Joey: “What’s going on?”

Phoebe: “We’re wondering if Chandler’s girlfriend is a girl.” Joey Tribbiani: “Just ask her how long she’s gonna live. Women live longer than men.” Chandler Bing: “How do you not fall down more?”

38. “Pheebs, have you ever been bitten by a hungry Italian?”

39. “You know, with that goatee, you kind of look like Satan.”

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