Reddit user u/Throwaway5829582999 posted in the “Am I The A**hole” Reddit thread, asking if he is in the wrong for upsetting his girlfriend after telling her that she didn’t make the birthday cake he wanted. He claims he was just being honest, but should he have just ate the cake and shut his mouth? Reddit users are split.
He begins the post by explaining that his girlfriend offered to bake him a cake for his birthday.
“I told her that I would prefer a chocolate cake (devil's food) with chocolate icing and nothing fancy. She is usually a great baker, and I guess she thought that wasn't sophisticated enough or something,” he wrote.
“She baked me a chocolate cake with vanilla icing between the two layers of cake then surrounding in chocolate frosting.”
After eating some of the cake, he wrote that his girlfriend noticed his less-than-enthused reaction and asked him if he had an issue with the cake.
“...so I was honest with her. Yes. I was disappointed. It wasn't the cake I asked for. I said, ‘If I wanted vanilla in a cake, I would have asked for vanilla in the cake,’” he wrote.
“I didn't make a scene. I didn't pout. I even ate half of a slice--the chocolate part. She got upset with me and said, ‘But I've made vanilla cake before, and you liked it.’ I pointed out that I don't mind vanilla icing, but **it's not what I wanted for my birthday**.”
He went on to explain that her feelings were hurt after his reaction and after she said that next year, she won’t even bother baking him a cake.
He replied, “I will order my own and get my money back if they don't do it like I want it.”
“Apparently that was the last straw. She asked me to leave, later texted me that I embarrassed her in front of her kids, and now she won't reply to my messages,” he wrote.
From his perspective, he doesn’t see himself in the wrong.
“I think birthdays are important things, and I feel like I was honest with her when she asked me. I didn't want to lie about it. My friend told me I should have been grateful that she made me a cake at all, especially one that I've eaten and liked in the past,” he said, wondering if he’s in the wrong.
Reddit weighed in on this 34-year-old grown man who pouted over a birthday cake that wasn’t baked to his liking. While some sided with him, others could not fathom his entitlement.
One user wrote, “When I was like 6 or 7 I asked my mom for a pokemon cake. I specifically wanted Blastoise I think. Instead she made a sheet cake with a giant pokeball in the center and little pokemon stamp toy things surrounding it. I was disappointed (even though looking back it was probably cooler than what I asked for), but even at that age I was able to keep a stiff upper lip and my mouth shut.”
“I look back in embarrassment at the fact that I even felt disappointment, regardless of the fact that I didn't express it. I couldn't imagine being a 34-year-old birthday boy outwardly pouting over his cake.”
Another said, “I really can’t wrap my brain around a 34 year old (34!) being this much of a petulant little baby. There are strong ‘guy who moved away from home but still brings his laundry home for mom to wash’ vibes going on here.”
One user said, “Hope you get your wish. Total control over birthday cakes when you order them at the supermarket bakery and only pay for it if they do it right. Your girlfriend is off the hook now. She has just learned that doing something sweet for you provokes hostility but getting you a cake at the bakery is preferable and she doesn’t have to do anything!!”
Though it was far and few between, some Reddit users defended the OP (though those posts tended to be dripping with misogyny).
“Again, OP is NTA because this woman insisted on baking a cake desired by OP (which he would've had no problem ordering) at her behest,” they wrote.
“She then decided to not follow through on said request and when she was told -- AFTER ASKING HIM FOR HIS HONEST THOUGHTS -- that he was disappointed rather than "grateful he got anything at all", she made it about her. That's a manipulative woman I wouldn't want in my life.”
That’s one take...
After a wave of negative feedback, the OP updated the post, noting that he did see all the responses telling him he was basically a man child and needs to suck it up. However, it’s yet to be determined if he took that to heart.
“After looking at the comments, I've apologized to my girlfriend for being the partial asshole but also asked her for an apology as well because it looked like the results were about 50/50 on whether I was or wasn't, at least when I skimmed them. She hasn't replied yet, but I assume I'll hear from her today. She is probably just thinking about how she can best apologize to me,” he wrote.