70+ Fetch 'Mean Girls' Quotes to Unleash Your Inner Regina George

70+ Fetch ‘Mean Girls’ Quotes To Unleash Your Inner Regina George

December 5, 2019 Updated December 16, 2020

mean girls quotes
Paramount Pictures

At some point, we’ve all quoted from Mean Girls. Whether it’s to a friend re: retail therapy (“Get in, loser. We’re going shopping”) or when we’re unleashing our inner permissive mom (“I’m not like a regular mom. I’m a cool mom.”) the hit 2004 comedy from the brainchild of Tina Fey lives on in our everyday lexicon. If you need more Mean Girls quotes in your life, and who doesn’t since they’re “so fetch,” we rounded up the best and most memorable one-liners to help unleash your inner Regina George.

  1. “Get in loser. We’re going shopping.”
  2. “On Wednesdays we wear pink.”
  3. “Four for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco!”
  4. “How many of you have ever felt personally victimized by Regina George?”
  5. “That’s why her hair is so big. It’s full of secrets.”
  6. “She doesn’t even go here!”
  7. “It’s so fetch.”
  8. “I’m not like a regular mom. I’m a cool mom.”
  9. “Oh my god, Danny DeVito! I love your work!”
  10. “The limit does not exist.”
  11. “You smell like a baby prostitute.”
  12. “I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me. But I can’t help it that I’m popular.”
  13. “Coach Carr, step away from the underage girls!”
  14. “Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant, and die. Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up, just… don’t do it. Promise?”
  15. “I know I may seem like a bitch, but that’s only because I’m acting like a bitch.”
  16. “Boo, you whore!”
  17. “I hate her! I mean, she’s really failing me on purpose, just because I didn’t join the stupid Mathletes! She was so queer, she was like, ‘I’m pusher Cady, I’m a pusher.'”
  18. “That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I’ve ever seen.”
  19. “Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each other’s awesomeness?”
  20. “She made out with a hot dog.”
  21. “Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.”
  22. “‘Cause she’s a life ruiner. She ruins people’s lives.”
  23. “Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?”
  24. “Make sure you check out her mom’s boob job. They’re hard as rocks!”
  25. “If only you knew how mean she really is, you’d know that I’m not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah, two years ago she told me hoops earrings were her thing, and I wasn’t allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hanukkah, my parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and I had to pretend like I didn’t even like them. It was so sad.”
  26. “Somebody wrote in that book that I’m lying about being a virgin, ’cause I use super-jumbo tampons, but I can’t help it if I’ve got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina!”
  27. “I just wanted to say that you’re all winners. And that I couldn’t be happier the school year is ending.”
  28. “I know she’s kind of socially retarded and weird, but she’s my friend… so, just promise me you won’t make fun of her!”
  29. “At your age, you’re going to have a lot of urges. You’re going to want to take off your clothes and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia… and die.”
  30. “Oh, I love seeing teachers outside of school. It’s like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.”
  31. “I don’t hate you cuz yo’ fat… yo’ fat cuz I hate you!”
  32. “There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.”
  33. “We only carry sizes one, three, and five. You could try Sears.”
  34. “Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends. I mean that’s just like the rules of feminism.”
  35. “It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it’s going to rain. Well… they can tell when it’s raining.”
  36. “Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that’s not good.”
  37. “This is Susan from Planned Parenthood. I have her test results. If you could have her call me as soon as she can? It’s urgent. Thank you!”
  38. “I don’t know why. It’s probably because I have a big, fat LESBIAN crush on you. Suck on that! Aye aye aye!”
  39. “But you’re, like, really pretty… So you agree? You think you’re really pretty?”
  40. “I’m a mouse, duh.”
  41. “Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya.”
  42. “Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen. It’s not going to happen!”
  43. “There’s a 30% chance that it’s already raining…”
  44. “Your face smells like peppermint!”
  45. “She’s so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she’d be like, “Why didn’t you call me back?” And I’d be like, ‘Why are you so obsessed with me?'”Related: ‘As If!’ 55+ Of The Best ‘Clueless’ Quotes That Will Bring You Back to the ’90s
  46. “And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.”
  47. “Gretchen, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Noble. And I’m sorry for telling everyone about it. And I’m sorry for repeating it now.”
  48. “I mean no offense, but how could she send you a candy cane? She doesn’t even like you that much. Maybe she feels weird around me because I’m the only person who knows about her nose job. Oh my god, pretend you didn’t hear that.”
  49. “You can’t sit with us!”
  50. “I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.”
  51. “One time, she punched me in the face. It was awesome.”
  52. “I want to lose three pounds.”
  53. “I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee.”
  54. “Regina George is not sweet! She’s a scum-sucking road whore, she ruined my life!”
  55. “Made out with a hot dog? Oh my God, that was one time!”
  56. “Did you see nipple? It only counts if you saw a nipple!”
  57. “Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What’s so great about Caesar? Hmm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that’s not what Rome is about. We should totally just stab Caesar!”
  58. “I’m sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It’s not your fault you’re so gap-toothed.”
  59. “Everyone in Africa can read Swedish.”
  60. “I can’t go to Taco Bell. I’m on an all-carb diet. God, Karen, you are so stupid!”
  61. “If you’re from Africa, why are you white?”
  62. “There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.”
  63. “I hear she does car commercials…in Japan.”
  64. “I can’t go out tonight. I’m sick.” –Karen Smith
  65. “Whatever, I’m getting cheese fries.”
  66. “Is butter a carb?”
  67. “And I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back!”
  68. “I have really bad breath in the morning.”
  69. “Your hair looks so sexy pushed back. Cady, will you please tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back.”
  70. “Looks like he’s headed for the projection room above the auditorium!”
  71. “Grool.”
  72. “I saw Cady Heron wearing Army pants and flip-flops, so I bought Army pants and flip-flops.”
  73. “It’s October 3rd.”
  74. “Damn Africa, what happened?”
  75. Mr. Duvall: Miss Smith?
    Karen Smith: Whoever wrote it probably didn’t think anyone would ever see it?
    Mr. Duvall: I hope that nobody else ever does see it.
  76. Cady Heron: Hey!
    Karen Smith: (Shocked, startled, and scared) Why are dressed so scary?
    Karen Smith: Why are dressed so scary?
    Cady Heron: It’s Halloween.
  77. “You wanna do something fun? You wanna go to Taco Bell?”
  78. Karen Smith: You know who’s looking fine tonight? Seth Mosakowski.
    Gretchen Weiners: You did not just say that.
    Karen Smith: Why? He’s a good kisser.
    Gretchen Weiners: He is your cousin!
    Karen Smith: Yeah, but he’s my first cousin.
    Gretchen Weiners: Right.
    Karen Smith: So you have your cousins, and you have your first cousins, and you have your second cousins…
    Gretchen Weiners: No, honey. Uh-uh.
    Karen Smith: That’s not right, is it?
    Gretchen Weiners: That is so not right.
  79. Damian: [guarding Cady down the hall] Watch out, please! Fresh meat coming through!
    Damian: Watch out, please! Fresh meat coming through!

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