where's the red flag guy

A Dad Wonders If It’s Wrong To Take His Mom’s Parenting Advice Over His Wife’s Preferences

He says his wife is “frequently offended” by his actions.

A dad on TikTok is wondering if he’s in the wrong for frequently seeking advice from his mom on how ...
@sergey.be.be / TikTok

A dad on TikTok is wondering if he’s in the wrong for frequently seeking advice from his mom on how to raise his daughter. He says he trusts her advice and opinion more than his wife’s because she’s a mom of three, experienced, etc. This hurts his wife’s feelings (duh!) and now, he’s looking for some advice from the internet.

TikTok user @sergey.be.be uploaded footage of his wife and daughter sharing a lovely moment, asking TikTok for advice on how to fix a perpetual issue with his wife.

“My wife is frequently offended when I seek advice from my mother regarding raising our daughter,” he wrote in text overlay.

“She insists she knows everything, suggesting we can always look things up on Google if needed. Since our baby was born, disagreements have persisted. For instance, when I inquired about swaddling for our newborn, my mother recommended swaddling with straightened legs because if you don’t swaddle your baby, his legs will be crooked, while my wife disagreed, saying it was a thing of the past.”

He says that because of his mom’s “experience raising three children” compared to his wife’s limited time in motherhood, he “tends” to trust his mom more.

“Our differing opinions have led to frequent quarrels. How can I navigate this situation?” he asked at the end of the video.

If my partner constantly second-guessed everything I did with my kid and then texted his mom to get the “right” answer, I would simply lose my ever-loving sh*t.

Apparently, I am not alone in this thinking. Several women in the comments section noted that this guy is going about this totally and completely wrong.

“I guess he is TRYING to get divorced,” one user wrote.

Another joked, “You should marry your mom 💕 hope this helps!”

One couples therapist chimed in and said, “Couples therapist here — prioritize your new family over your old family.”

All this guy is doing is making his wife feel inferior, incompetent, and unworthy of being this child’s mother. Knowing today’s moms, she probably has researched, read, studied, and thought about how to make this child’s life perfect since the day she found out she was pregnant. The audacity of this dude to constantly run to his mommy for help is not the way to go.

Plus, his mom might have raised three kids, but that was 20-30 years ago probably. How much has changed in regard to safety and best practices since then? I love my mom so much, but I would never go to her for advice on how to swaddle, feed, or pretty much do anything with my daughter. She’s not up to date on all that stuff. That’s my job.

Furthermore, why can’t this guy do a simple Google search himself? Read a parenting book? Do the work that’s required to raise a kid? Why is that left for his wife and alternatively, his mom? What are we doing here, dude?

If he’s so concerned, he can message the pediatrician. Take initiative. Be a supportive parent!

Let’s hope that all the comments on the video help him see the light.