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A Mom Has Started A Debate About The Transition Between 2 And 3 Kids

Some parents call three kids the “chaos point.”

Originally Published: 
A TikTok mom holds back tears while asking other parents if they felt the same way she did about the...
Rachel Pedersen / TikTok

There is much debate over what number of kids is hardest for parents. Some argue that the more you have, the harder the parenting journey treats you. However, some may argue that after three or four, how many kids you have really makes no difference at all (because you are just running a circus at that point).

“What’s one more?” they say.

Well, according to one TikTok mom and content creator, one more kid is a lot.

Rachel Pedersen, mom of three and social media manager, posted on TikTok, asking other parents if they felt the same way she did about the transition from two kids to three kids.

“So, my husband and I were trying to decide if we wanted a third kid, and we got some awesome advice from family. That advice was that going from two kids to three kids wasn't any harder,” she began.

So, she went off of friends and family’s advice and decided to take the plunge. Now, she’s a mom of three, but according to Pedersen, it’s no cake walk.

“Now, today we have three kids, and I can confidently say that they lied. It's a lot harder,” she says before holding back tears. “So much harder.”

The video soon went viral, gaining over half a million views and over 25k likes, with thousands of comments from parents who totally understood where Pedersen was coming from, agreeing with her sentiment that three kids are way harder than two kids.

Several users commented that they’ve heard that parenting gets easier after the fourth kid.

One user joked, “2-3 is definitely harder. Adding a 4th, less difficult. Do that. 😆”

Another echoed, “My friend is 1 of 7, and his mom said 3 kids is the hardest amount to have but ‘after 4, it gets so much easier,’ so you just need 1 more! lol”

Other commenters noted that three kids is such much harder because now parents are outnumbered.

“Don't fit at a regular table. Someone has to go on rides by themselves. 3 carseats side by side is chaos. Three escapees, only 2 chasers,” one noted.

“2 is perfect. 3 is crazy. you need different vehicles, bigger hotel rooms, more dishes, a bigger house..... the list goes on and on,” another wrote.

Pedersen can also rest assured that, according to a survey of parents, three kids is actually the agreed upon amount deemed hardest for parents.

Three is the most stressful number of children, according to a TODAY Parents survey of more than 7,000 U.S. mothers in 2013. Mothers of three children report more stress than moms of one or two, while mothers of four or more children actually report lower stress levels.

Psychiatrist Dr. Janet Taylor told TODAY that after three kids, she believes moms start to relax a bit. “There’s just not enough space in your head for perfectionism when you get to four or more kids,” she said. “The more children you have, the more confident you become in your parenting abilities. You have to let go … and then you’re just thankful when they all get to school on time.”

Man-to-man defense seems a lot easier than zone defense, and once a third child is thrown into the mix, parents are outnumbered, leading to stress, increased mom guilt, and so much sleep debt.

So, if you always envisioned a large Thanksgiving table when you’re old and gray, with tons of kids and grandkids, sounds like you need to power through that third kid and keep on going to reach max chaos so that more kids doesn’t even have you breaking a sweat.

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