tardy for the party

The Comment Section On A Hilarious Rant About Being Late To Drop-Off Is Your Must-Read Of The Day

“I’ve written ‘I’m trash’ three times this year.”

Originally Published: 
A mom went on a rant about the reason for why their kid is late to school and so many parents are co...
Katlyn Whittenburg / TikTok

I don’t know about anyone else, but there is something so freaking stressful about getting kids out of the house each and every morning. My kid is constantly whining about being bored, but the minute she needs to put her socks and shoes on for school, I find her totally engrossed in a magnetic tile build-a-thon.

Needless to say, we’re late all the time.

Apparently, my morning struggles are pretty common. Once a kid is late for school drop-off, they need to be brought to the front office to be signed in. Most parents need to write a “reason” for why their kid is late to school, but sometimes that reason is totally mindless.

TikTok mom, Katlyn Whittenburg, went on a hilarious rant about the absolute chaos that ensues trying to get kids to school, noting how it’s totally ridiculous that schools make parents come up with a reason for why their kid is “seven minutes late.”

Because, let’s be real, sometimes we just cannot get our s**t together.

“I was seven minutes late dropping my five-year-old off at school today,” Whittenburg begins.

“And when you come in late, you have to tell them why. Like, I don't understand it was like 40 minutes late because it's like oh maybe they had a doctor's appointment or maybe some crazy s**t happened but seven minutes late? What do you want me to say? What do you want me to say? Because I couldn't? Because I simply cannot?”

She continues, “Because damn, because hell, because my daughter painted a mural using toothpaste this morning. and I apparently I support the arts. Because my other daughter had a bloody nose and sneezed and now got to get a crime scene cleanup crew to come in and get all up in my zone.”

She then jokes that most parents will simply write something simple like “traffic” as a good excuse for their child’s late arrival. Whittenburg thinks those parents are “goobers.”

“All the other parents always put “traffic.” You fucking goober. I mean yeah, I wanted to walk out in front of traffic this morning because my five-year-old didn't want to wear a coat,” she jokes.

“She wanted to wear an unsanctioned bee costume for warmth ... Well how am I gonna fit on this one little line that I was born on a hot summer day in Atlanta, and it's been downhill ever since? Because I'll go into detail if you want to know.”

Whittenburg’s rant continues on, joking about how if her kid’s school really wants to get the brass tacks of why her kid is seven minutes late, she’s got a reason for that.

“I'm just gonna write ‘see attachment’ and just start carrying around a file folder of all the reasons I can't and shant. My shant folder. You just open it up ,and it says ‘Started with a big bang,’” she jokes.

“Here we are. Oh, you want me here on time? Oh well, then next time you're gonna get a bee who looks like they just committed a violent crime in a dentist's office.”

After getting almost a million views on her hilarious rant, tons of moms related with Whittenburg’s struggle street parenting life, commenting with what they would write on their own kid’s tardy sheets. The responses were sheer perfection.

“The amount of times I’ve simply written ‘socks’…,” one user joked.

Another said, “I’ve written ‘I’m trash’ three times this year.”

“My dad used to always write ‘snow in the driveway’ we lived in Florida. 😂,” one user wrote.

Another wrote, “My mom used to say ‘car problems’ because we weren’t in the car on time and that was a problem.”

“Last time I wrote down, ‘life is hard ok, I’m trying,’” another said.

“A mom I know ahead of me wrote ‘Because we are slow’ and it made me laugh so hard,” another TikTok user shared.

Over 4,200 parents shared their own hilarious “reasons” for being late, showing that we’re all in this clusterf*ck called “parenting” together!

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