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TikTok Mom Nails What The Invisible Load Of Motherhood Looks Like During The Holidays

Default parenting, but make it festive!

TikTok mom Renee Reina talks about what default parenting looks like for moms over the holidays.

Ah, Christmas! That glorious time of year when everyone gets to drop their woes for a bit and enjoy the wonders of the season. Everyone but moms, that is. We're too busy making everything special for everyone else. And while, yeah, OK, most of us really do relish being the joy-maker for our loved ones, we don't love the negative side effects of that — like being asked why we look so tired at Christmas dinner, as if we didn't stay up all night wrapping presents.

So, when someone creates the perfect TikTok to illustrate what it's like to be a mom at Christmastime, it makes us feel... seen. And Renee Reina's Christmastime edition of "We're Moms" does just that so exceptionally, it's too spot-on not to share.

Reina's description focuses on three big holiday woes for moms: the disappointments, the work, and the judgment. Naturally, there are exceptions to these. If you have a wonderful partner, they might remember to create some cheer for you. A great partner may even tackle bedtime so you can finally curl up on the couch and gossip with your favorite cousin.

Typically, though, the brunt of these annoyances and letdowns happen for moms.

The Disappointments

The fact that your family and friends may have flown in from all over the world to see you doesn't change the fact that your kids have a bedtime routine. "We can't wait to give our kids a bath and then put them to bed while everyone else is downstairs having a great time," says Reina, adding, "We're gonna see everyone we know over the holiday season but not have one single meaningful conversation."

Someone needs to keep things from spiraling out of control, and it typically falls on moms. So much for bonding with your favorite grownups!

The Work

Never mind that your kids have two present parents; somehow, only you can be bothered with, well, being bothered about every little thing to do with them. As Reina sums it up, "We're moms. We can't wait until every single person we know asks us what our child wants for Christmas because nobody else knows."

Some dads might be able to tell you the one or two wildly viral toys they've watched their kids flip for after every commercial, but can they also tell Aunt Patty everyone's favorite colors? Iffy.

The Judgment

Despite all the hard work that we put in and all the cheer we try to spread, moms can't manage to go through a holiday season without one or two thinly veiled judgmental comments from someone. But screw 'em — they aren't the ones making the holidays memorable for your kids; you are.

"We're just waiting for family to tell us to let our kids stay up late over the holidays. Are you gonna deal with the meltdowns and get up with them at 5 a.m.?" says Reina, sarcastically noting, "We can't wait 'til Aunt Patty comes over and tells us how she used to parent her kids in the '80s."

A Reminder

Christmas is magical, but it's not because of cute little elves or some guy in a red velvet suit — it's because moms make it so. We plan the presents, buy the presents, and wrap the presents (with the paper that we also bought). We stuff the stockings. We make the cookies. We plan the meals and the outfits, decorate the tree, and move Sprinkles, the stupid elf. There is no magic. Moms are the magic.

You should be proud of that. (And rightfully angry when you're doing it without any help.)