55 Penguin Jokes And Puns That Are Brrrr-illiantly Funny

When it comes to amusing birds, penguins come out on top. We’ve got the penguin jokes to prove it! First, though, let’s celebrate with a few fun facts about our Arctic friends. Penguins always look formal because of their black and white coloring, similar to a tuxedo. Second, penguins are birds that can’t fly (so perplexing). Third, instead of flying, they get around by waddling or slipping around on their bellies. And while penguins are good swimmers — and spend most of their time in the water looking for food — they aren’t able to swim backward. They are, however, excellent at diving, jumping, spinning, and playing in the water with their penguin colleagues. Did we mention they can hold their breath for up to six minutes?!

Not only are penguins silly and slippery, but they are also the subject of jokes and puns that will make you laugh-out-loud. Here are some supercool penguin jokes to keep you amused all winter long.

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Best Penguin Jokes and Puns

1. Where do penguins keep their money?

In a snow bank, of course!

1. What do you call a happy penguin?

A pen-grin!

1. So why don’t penguins like rock music?

They only like sole.

1. What do penguins like to wear on the beach?

A beak-ini.

1. How do you get in touch with a penguin?

Give him a wing.

1. How does a group of penguins make a difficult decision?

Flipper coin.

1. Why did the penguin cross the road?

To go with the floe.

1. What do penguins eat for lunch?

Ice-burgers.

1. What do you give to a penguin that’s ill?

Some medical tweetment.

1. Where do penguins go to watch movies?

At the dive-in.

1. What do you call a cold penguin?

A brrr-d.

1. What does a penguin do when it loses its tail?

It goes to a re-tail store.

1. What is a penguin’s favorite family member?

Aunt Artica!

1. Who is the head of the penguin Navy?

Admiral Byrd.

1. Why did the two penguins jump when they first met?

They were trying to break the ice.

1. What would you call a penguin with no I?

Pengun.

1. Where do penguins go dancing?

The Snow Ball.

1. Why would a penguin cross the road twice?

To prove he isn’t a chicken.

1. What does a penguin eat on its birthday?

Fish cakes!

1. Why are penguins good race car drivers?

They are always in pole position.

1. Why are penguins so difficult to get along with?

Because they’re always fishing for compliments.

1. How does a penguin build a LEGO house?

Igloos it together!

1. What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Lost!

1. How do penguins drink their Coca-Cola?

On the rocks.

1. What’s black and white and goes round and round?

A penguin in a revolving door.

1. Why do two penguins in a nest always agree?

Because they don’t want to fall out.

1. What do penguins wear on their head?

Ice caps.

1. What is a penguin’s favorite Mexican food?

Brrrrrr-itos.

1. Who is a penguin’s favorite pop star?

Seal.

1. What’s black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white?

A penguin rolling down a hill.

1. What do penguins catch at night?

Starfish.

1. What do penguins sing on a birthday?

“Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.”

1. A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a penguin sitting next to him.

“Are you a penguin?” asks the man, surprised. “Yes,” says the penguin. “What are you doing at the movies?” he asks. “Well,” replies the penguin, “I really liked the book.”

1. Why shouldn’t you write a book on penguins?

Because writing a book on paper is much easier!

1. When I meet new people, I always talk about my giant pet penguin…

It’s a good icebreaker.

1. Why do polar bears and penguins not get along?

Because they are polar opposites.

1. Why don’t you ever see penguins in Great Britain?

Because they’re scared of Wales!

1. Why didn’t the penguin jump off the iceberg?

He got cold feet.

1. Why don’t penguins fly?

Because they’re not tall enough to be pilots.

1. How did the penguin pass its driving test?

It winged it!

1. Why do penguins wear glasses?

To help their ice-sight.

1. What do penguins drink in the summer?

Iced tea.

1. What is a penguin’s favorite movie?

Frozen.

1. What shoes do penguins wear in the summer?

Flipper flops.

1. A penguin walks into a bar…

The bartender looks up and says, “Hey, listen, these things don’t fly around here.”

1. How does a penguin cook burgers?

With his flippers.

1. Why do penguins always carry fish in their beaks?

They don’t have any pockets!

1. What do penguins wear on their feet at nighttime?

Slippers.

1. What is black and white and red all over?

A sun burnt penguin!

1. What are the oldest animals?

Zebras and Penguins because they’re in black and white.

1. How do Penguins finish a race?

They pengwin.

1. Can a penguin fly?

No, but a toucan.

1. When visiting England, what do nuclear scientists penguins eat?

Fission chips.

1. What’s a penguin’s favorite pasta?

Penguini.

1. What’s a penguin’s favorite place to swim?

The South Pool.