Winter is here. Autumn is long gone. The days are shorter. The nights are longer. Everything is freezing outside which means everything takes more effort. And when the rush and merriment of the holiday season is gone, you’re just left feeling cold… and tired. You need to warm up. You need a laugh. And we have just that for you. These snow and winter-centered jokes are the perfect way to take the nip off a blustery day. Your kids will especially love them and we all know nothing makes the day better than the sound of giggles.
Who better to bring out that joy than snowmen, winter filled movies, and the other brisk benefits of the chilly season. We know, winter is by far one of the more serious and gloomier times of the year, compared to the whimsical nature of summer and spring. And apart from the holidays, there aren’t many sweet things said about this season.
While the chill of the winter season might not seem funny, finding an activity for your cooped-up kids LOL can make the dark days seem brighter. For some of you, your little ones may have been inside with you since March, but that doesn’t mean you can’t spice things up with some snow-themed humor. We want to keep you and your family warm with laughter, which is why we rounded up the best jokes about snow, snowmen, and winter that are guaranteed to make the most out of the winter blues for kids and parents alike.
Best Snow and Winter Jokes
- What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
“Can you smell carrot?”
- What often falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
- What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
- Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
- What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
- What is a mountain’s favorite type of candy?
- What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman.
- What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
- Grandma’s been staring through the window ever since it started to snow.
If it gets any worse I’ll have to let her in.
- Getting a job in the Arctic in the winter is great! Why?
When the days get short, you only have to work a 30-minute work week.
- Why do seals swim in saltwater?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
- What do you call a snowman party?
- What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilifice sauce.
- What eight letters can you find in water from the Arctic Ocean?
H to O! (H20)
- What do you call a gangsta snowman?
- Which side of an Arctic Tern has the most feathers?
- How does a snowman get around?
He rides an icicle!
- Who is Frosty’s favorite Aunt?
- What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
- What vegetable was forbidden on the ships of Arctic explorers?
- What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
- What do Snowmen call their offspring?
- Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
- Why didn’t Guns N’ Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
- What do you call an old snowman?
- Why didn’t the tourist in the Arctic get any sleep?
He plugged his electric blanket into the toaster by mistake — and kept popping out of bed all night!
- What happened when all the muskox wool that was collected was stolen?
The police combed the area.
- If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
- What did one Greenland Shark say to the other?
“Say, good lookin’… didn’t I meet you last night at the feeding frenzy?”
- Why did the farmer only wear one boot to town?
He heard there would be a 50 percent chance of snow!
- What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing.
- How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
- What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
- What kind of money do snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold hard cash.
- What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
- What did the seal say when it swam into a concrete wall?
- What do women use to stay young looking in the Arctic?
- Why was the snowman sad?
Cause he had a meltdown.
- What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
- How do you prevent a Summer cold?
Catch it in the winter!
- How do snowmen greet each other?
“Ice to meet you!”
- What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
“Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.”
- Who are Frosty’s parents?
Mom and Pop-Sicle!
- What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
- What do you call a slow skier?
- What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.Related: 100+ Super Clean, Super Funny Jokes For The Whole Fam-Bam
- What did the snowman order at the fast-food restaurant?
An ice burger with extra cheese.
- What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
- What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
- What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?
I have no eye deer.
- What does a Snowman take when he gets sick?
A chill pill.
- What did one Arctic murre say to the other?
“What? We flew 2000 miles for THIS?!”
- What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect?
“Where were you on the night of September to March?”
- What noise wakes you up at the North Pole around March 18?
The crack of dawn!
- If you live in an igloo, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
- What do you call a snowman in July?
- What did the walrus say when it was late?
“I would have been here sooner, but my iceberg hit a ship.”
- What did the icy Arctic road say to the truck?
“Want to go for a spin?”
- Winter’s coming so I’m knitting you a muffler.
What size is your mouth?
- What do you use to catch an Arctic hare?
A hare net.
- What did the tree say after a long winter?
“What a re-leaf!”
- What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backward through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
- Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean?
They’re both below C level!
- What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
- How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
- What happened when an icicle landed on the snowman’s head?
It knocked him out cold.
- How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
- What kind of cake does the Ice Queen like to eat on her birthday?
The flavor doesn’t matter as long as it has lots of frosting.
- What does a gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet.
- What’s the best kind of dog to get for the holidays?
- Why do mummies like holiday gifts?
Because of all of the wrappings.
- Why aren’t penguins as lucky as Arctic murres?
The poor old penguins can’t go south for the winter.
- How do you keep from getting cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
- How do you know when it is too cold to picnic outside?
You chip your tooth on your soup!
- What do mountains wear to keep warm?
- What are caribou calves given to wear?
- What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf?
“You hang around while I go on ahead.”
- What’s the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?
One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
- Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.
- Is it quicker to be hot or cold?
Hot is quicker, because you can catch cold.
- Where do seals go to see movies?
- What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
- What sits on the bottom of the cold Arctic Ocean and shakes?
A nervous wreck.
- How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
- What do snowmen eat for lunch?
- If your reindeer lost his tail, where would you go to buy him a new one?
A retail store.
- What did Frosty the Snowman and Elvira name their baby?
- What is red, white, and blue over winter break?
A sad candy cane.
- What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman?
“Have an ice day!”
- What kind of androids do you find in the Arctic?
- What do you call a ghost in the winter?
- What happens when you’re alone in the water and get too cold?
You’re totally ice-olated.
Snowman Jokes to Make You LOL
- What food do you get when you cross a snowman with a wolf?
- What do you call a snowman temper tantrum?
- Where do snowmen love to dance?
At a snow ball.
- What did the snowman have for breakfast?
- How do you know that a snowman was in your home?
You find a carrot next to the fireplace.
- Where do snowmen put their money?
- What’s white and goes up?
A confused snowflake.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
- Why did Frosty go to the middle of the big lake?
Because snow man’s an island.
- How do mountains stay warm?
- How do you scare a snowman?
Two words: global warming.
- How did the Snowman get to work?
- What did the police officer say when he saw the snowman stealing?
- What is a snowman’s favorite snack?
Ice Krispy Treats.
- Why did the girl keep her trumpet out in the snow?
Because she liked cool music.
- Which kids wear the biggest snow boots?
The ones with the biggest feet!
- How do snowmen pay their bills?
With cold hard cash.
- Why did the boy only wear one snow boot?
There was only a 50 percent chance of snow.
- What does Frosty the Snowman like to put on his icebergers?
- What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?
The letter D.
- What kind of cake do snowmen like?
Any kind with lots of icing.
- What did the icy road say to the truck?
Want to go for a spin?
- What video game do they play in igloos?
- What was Frosty the Snowman’s career?
He was in snow business.
- What is a female snowman called?
- Who were Frosty’s parents?
Mom and Pop-Sicle.
- Why did the snowman turn yellow?
Ask the dog.
- What do you call a snowman in August?
- What’s a snowman’s favorite drink?
- What is a skier’s favorite type of candy?
- What’s the best part about school during the winter?
Snow and tell.
- What falls in the winter but never gets hurt?
- Where do snowmen get the weather report?
- Knock, knock.
- Knock, knock.
Snow Snow who?
I forgot my name again.
- Knock, knock.
Snowbody’s business but mine.
- Knock, knock.
- What do you call a snowman’s dog?
A slush puppy!
- Why was the snowman rummaging in the bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
- What do snowmen do when the weather’s too hot for scarves and hats?
They change into puddles.
- What is a snowman’s favorite game?
Ice Spy with My Little Eye.
- What do you call a snowman that plays piano?
- What do you call a snowman without a carrot?
- Has the abominable snowman called?
- What’s a snowman’s favorite meat?
- What did Yoda tell the snowman when he found out he had tunnel vision?
“All ICY is you!”
- An attractive snow-woman notices a snowman gawking at her.
She says, “Listen, pal, my ice is up here.”
- One snowman is under a tree, holding a red lightsaber…
Another is in the sun, holding a green lightsaber.
Red snowman: Come to the dark side.
Green snowman: Why? all you do is terrorize people!
Red snowman: Dude, we’re snowmen, the dark side; under the tree…
Green snowman: Oh! Okay.
Red snowman mumbling: Stupid.
- What do you call a snowman on wheels?
Best Ice Jokes
- What is Batman’s favorite food?
Not much, just-ice!
- I used to be a fortune teller but I kept predicting snowstorms…
It turns out I wasn’t using a crystal ball, it was a snow globe.
- After six months of winter, all the snow finally melted.
- Teacher: Write a short story. You have a strict 140-character limit.
Student: Once upon a time, Snow White lived with 139 Dwarves. The end.
- I got a job crafting toy models of the dwarves from Snow White.
The pay sucks, but I’m not lying when I tell people I make seven figures.
- What did the snow plower say to the car drivers before clearing snow?
- I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious in the snow today…
Well, I’m guessing she was poor. She only had $1.00 in her purse.
- Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.
- Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
- What do snowmen wear on their heads?
- How did the winter squash pay for things?
It used pumpkin bread.
- What did the snowflake say to the road?
Let’s stick together.
- Where do you go to learn about the history of ice cream?
- How do you get ice to melt faster?
Talk to it and get into a heated argument!
- What is Frosty the Snowman’s favorite mode of transportation?
- Why should you experiment with thin ice?
Because it’s the best way to achieve a major breakthrough.
- Why is slippery ice like music?
Because if you don’t C sharp, you’ll B flat!
Naughty Snow and Winter Jokes (for Grown-Ups Only!)
- I just ran over one of Snow White’s dwarfs.
He wasn’t Happy!
- How did the snowman lose his head?
Someone sat on his face.
- What do you get from sitting on the ice too long?
- Why did the snowman’s daughter become a stripper?
Because he was so cold to her.
- Why did the lady snowman divorce her husband?
She found out he was going to a snow blower.
- Why are we only concerned about snowmen, not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
- Why was the snowman so brave?
Because he had big snow balls.
- Where do snowmen go to donate their sperm?
“It Was So Cold That…” Jokes
- … the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
- … people started chipping their teeth on soup!
- … Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
- … you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
- … when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
- …the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
- …lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
- …you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
- …you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
- …our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
- …people look forward to getting a fever.
- …a streaker froze in mid-streak! Mayor Mitchell hung a plaque around his neck… we have to pretend he’s a statue until Spring.
- …we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
- …I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
- …trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
- …I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.