Man, we love pickles. The salt, the garlic, the vinegar — mix it together, plop in cucumbers, and soon enough you have nature’s perfect snack. There’s not a version of the pickle we don’t love: bread and butter, dill, chips, spears, and even relish. Then there are the pickle-flavored snacks! Pickle-flavored potato chips might be the world’s best invention. They’re the best thing since, well, sliced bread. Basically, we think pickles are kind of a big “dill.” And because we love pickles so much, we even love pickle puns and jokes. Really, who doesn’t want a pickle quip to keep in their back pocket for their next ballgame or barbecue?
Believe it or not, there are actually a ton of great pickle puns, jokes, and one-liners out there. Just like bananas, the absurdity of their existence really inspires laughs. Of course, some are inappropriate. We left those off this list, though. All of these good, clean fun — knee-slappers are kid-friendly and parent-approved.
Best Pickle Puns And Jokes
- How do pickles enjoy a day out?
They relish it.
- What’s the difference between a pickle and a therapist?
If you don’t know, you should stop talking to your pickle!
- Where is the Liberty Dill found?
- What happens when you confuse chutney and pickles?
- What do you get when you cross a pickle with an alligator?
- Why are bananas better than pickles?
Because they have a-peel.
- What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
- When the giant cannibals started to soak me in vinegar, I’d had enough…
“Why don’t you pickle someone your own size?” I shouted.
- What’s a pickle’s favorite show?
Dill or No Dill.
- On what radio station would you hear Bob Dill-on?
- How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.
- What’s green and wears a cape?
- What’s green and got two wheels?
- What happens when life gives you pickles instead of lemons?
You dill with it.
- What do you call a pickle doctor?
A dill pusher.
- Who’s a pickle’s favorite artist?
- A gas station was selling pickles two-for-one…
It was the dill of the day.
- What do you call a pickle lullaby?
A cucumber slumber number.
- I’ve just got my hand stuck in a jar of gherkins and can’t get it out…
I’m in a right pickle!
- Why do we refer to problems as pickles?
Because they’re dill-emmas!
- What did the arrogant pickle say?
“I’m kind of a big dill.”
- Why are pickles in sandwiches always so polite?
- A pickle walks into a casino and sits down at a card table…
He says, “Dill me in.”
- Why do gherkins giggle when you touch them?
- Why is the pickle container always open?
Because it’s ajar.
- What did the pickle say to the lemon?
“I relish our time together.”
- What’s a baby gherkin’s favorite TV channel?
- What did the pickle say when he was told he was going into a salad?
“I relish the thought.”
- My pickle order was totally under-cooked…
It was really a raw dill.
- Where’s a pickle’s favorite place to go in London?
- What do you call a pickle you got on a budget?
A sweet dill.
- What do you say to a pickle in the morning?
“Rise and brine!”
- What’s green and pecks on trees?
Woody Wood Pickle.
- I recently got a new job as a golf caddy, but I was fired after less than an hour…
The guy asked me for a sand wedge. I don’t think he likes pickle.
- What’s black, white, green, black, and white?
Two skunks fighting over a pickle.
- What do you call a pickle from the southern backwoods?
- What do you do when a pickle wants to play cards?
Dill ’em in.
- You hear about that crazy pickle who thought he was a flower?
What a daffy dill!
- Why shouldn’t you shoot pool using a pickle?
Because you’ll find the cue cumbersome.
- What’s a pickle’s life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
- What’s green and swims in the sea?
- What did the pickle say to the cat?
Nothing; pickles can’t talk.
- How are a bunch of soon-to-be pickles and a heavy pool stick similar?
You either have some cucumber or a cumbersome cue.
- I once tripped on a pickle…
I’m over it now, but it was a big dill at the time.
- A man who lived by the sea grew a cucumber so large that he was able to turn it into a house. One day a bad storm flooded the area with seawater and damaged his actual home…
Now he’s in a real pickle.
- Why couldn’t the pickle leave the bar?
Because the door was ajar!
- I just watched a documentary about a serial killer whose calling card was a pickle…
It was truly jarring.
- Where do pickles go to buy a car?
- I got a free pickle
It was a helluva dill.