45+ Hilarious And Cynical Rick And Morty Quotes

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Rick and morty quotes
Adult Swim

At first glance, Rick and Morty looks like just another animated situational family comedy, like Family Guy or The Simpsons. Theoretically, that’s true. When sociopathic scientist and estranged grandfather Rick returns to his daughter Beth’s life, he brings with him all sorts of family drama. Watching Beth’s family of four navigate life with their self-centered, cynical, and narcissistic grandfather is, indeed, often very funny. In a sea of sad quotes on the internet, Rick and Morty quotes are the hilariously sardonic lines you need to buoy your dark heart.

But it’s also so much more. To start, it’s nihilistic and irreverent. Rick literally turns himself into a pickle to avoid going to family therapy. Yes, a pickle. Because Rick and Morty is also part science fiction, and Rick is an inventor with lofty ideas. He has a machine that can transport him between various times and dimensions. When he goes, he brings along his grandson, Morty, whom Rick has deemed smart (or at least smarter than the rest of the family). Together they experience Mad Max-style post-apocalyptic settings, compete in a singing competition to save Earth from alien distraction, and kill and bury alternate versions of themselves.

Rick and Morty is loads of fun, sure. But it’s also often dark and sometimes (for lack of a better word) trippy. These are some of our favorite Rick and Morty quotes and catchphrases from the show’s first few seasons, but it’s by no means an extensive list.

RELATED: 100+ Quotes About Grandparents To Make You Appreciate Yours Even More

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Best Rick and Morty Quotes

  1. “Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!” — Rick
  2. “What, so everyone’s supposed to sleep every single night now? You realize that nighttime makes up half of all time?” — Rick
  3. “Boom! Big reveal! I turned myself into a pickle!” — Rick
  4. “Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. We’re all going to die. Come watch TV.” — Morty
  5. “To live is to risk it all; otherwise you’re just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you.” — Rick
  6. Weddings are basically funerals with a cake.” — Rick
  7. “I’ll tell you how I feel about school, Jerry: It’s a waste of time. Bunch of people runnin’ around bumpin’ into each other, got a guy up front says, ‘Two plus two,’ and the people in the back say, ‘Four.’ Then the bell rings and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can go take a dump or somethin’. I mean, it’s not a place for smart people, Jerry. I know that’s not a popular opinion, but that’s my two cents on the issue.” — Rick
  8. “Sometimes science is more art than science.” — Rick
  9. “If I let you make me nervous, then we can’t get schwifty.” — Rick
  10. “Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call ‘love’ is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed.” — Rick
  11. “Don’t move. Gonorrhea can’t see us if we don’t move. Wait! I was wrong! I was thinking of a T. rex.” — Rick
  12. “Have fun with empowerment. It seems to make everyone that gets it really happy.” — Rick
  13. “Listen, I’m not the nicest guy in the universe, because I’m the smartest, and being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets.” — Rick
  14. “I know that new situations can be intimidating. You’re lookin’ around and it’s all scary and different, but y’know, meeting them head-on, charging into ‘em like a bull — that’s how we grow as people.” — Rick
  15. “You gotta do it for Grandpa, Morty. You gotta put these seeds inside your butt.” — Rick
  16. “Morty, I need your help on an adventure. Eh, ‘need’ is a strong word. We need door stops, but a brick would work too.” — Rick
  17. “I’m a scientist; because I invent, transform, create, and destroy for a living, and when I don’t like something about the world, I change it.” — Pickle Rick
  18. “He’s not a hot girl. He can’t just bail on his life and set up shop in someone else’s.” — Beth
  19. “Honey, stop raising your father’s cholesterol so you can take a hot funeral selfie.” — Beth
  20. “So what if he’s the devil, Rick? At least the devil has a job. At least he’s active in the community.” — Summer
  21. “Unity, I’m sorry. I didn’t know freedom meant people doing stuff that sucks. I was thinking more of a ‘choose your own cellphone carrier’ thing.” — Summer
  22. “Thanks, Mr. Poopybutthole. I always could count on you.” — Rick
  23. “Excuse me. Coming through. What are you here for? Just kidding, I don’t care.” — Rick
  24. “So I have an emo streak. It’s part of what makes me so rad.” — Rick
  25. “I just want to go back to hell, where everyone thinks I’m smart and funny.” — Mr. Needful
  26. “Don’t deify the people who leave you.” — Beth
  27. “If I die in a cage, I lose a bet.” — Rick
  28. “Yeah, sure, I mean, if you spend all day shuffling words around, you can make anything sound bad, Morty.” — Rick
  29. “Don’t get drawn into the culture, Morty. Stealing stuff is about the stuff, not the stealing.” — Rick
  30. “Your parents are a bag of dicks.” — Rick
  31. “I’m sorry, but your opinion means very little to me.” — Rick
  32. “Hi Mr. Jellybean, I’m Morty. I’m on an adventure with my grandpa.” — Morty
  33. “B*tch, my generation gets traumatized for breakfast!” — Summer
  34. “You’re the little brother. You’re not the cause of your parents’ misery, you’re just a symptom of it.” — Summer
  35. “Having a family doesn’t mean that you stop being an individual. You know the best thing you can do for the people that depend on you? Be honest with them, even if it means setting them free.” — Mr. Meeseeks
  36. “Well then get your shit together, get it all together and put it in a backpack, all your shit, so it’s together. And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know. Take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in the shit museum. I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together. Get your shit together.” — Morty
  37. “I don’t like it here, Morty. I can’t abide bureaucracy. I don’t like being told where to go and what to do. I consider it a violation. Did you get those seeds all the way up your butt?” — Rick
  38. “Hey, muchacho, does your planet have wiper fluid yet or you gonna freak out and start worshipping us?” — Rick
  39. “It’s funny to say they are small. It’s funny to say they are big.” — Shrimply Pibbles
  40. “God’s turning people into insect monsters, Beth. I’m the one beating them to death. Thank me.” — Jerry
  41. “This pickle doesn’t care about your children. I’m not gonna take their dreams. I’m gonna take their parents.” — Rick
  42. “Life is effort and I’ll stop when I die!” — Jerry
  43. “Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.” — Rick
  44. “There’s a lesson here, and I’m not going to be the one to figure it out.” — Rick
  45. “Wait a minute! Is that Mountain Dew in my quantum-transport-solution?” — Rick
  46. “You don’t get to tell anyone what’s sad. You’re like a one-man Mount Sadmore. So I guess like a Lincoln Sadmorial.” — Rick
  47. Morty: “Rick, when you say you made an exact replica of the house, did you mean, like, an exact replica?”

Rick: “I know about the Yosemite T-Shirt, Morty.” Morty: “Shit.” Rick: “You know you can use tissues, right?” Morty: “I can’t finish without it!”

  1. Mr. Nimbus: “Say goodbye to your precious dry land! For soon it will be wet!”

Rick: “Yeah, global warming is already doing that. But sure, yeah, go for it. Make us slightly more wet.”

  1. “I realize now I’m attracted to you for the same reason I can’t be with you; you can’t change. And I have no problem with that, but it clearly means I have a problem with myself.” — Unity
  2. “Ooh yeah, shame me. At least when I’m disgusting, it’s on purpose.” — Summer Smith

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