Shower sex is one of those things that sound great in theory, but are a little tricky in practice (also see: car sex). Especially if you’re parenting young kids, or tweens, or teens, basically if you’re parenting at all and the threat of being walked in on is real. Then there are the physical limitations of having sex in the shower. First of all, it usually involves doing it while standing up, which comes with its own set of challenges. On top of that, everything is slippery and wet, and let’s face it: those rubber flowers you put on the bottom of the shower to help stop you from falling aren’t exactly setting the mood. Add in the fact that shower sex usually involves one person being outside the stream of warm water, shivering in the cold. Rude.
But there are also plenty of pros, like not having to clean anything up afterwards, and knowing your partner is clean and smells good. If you’re a parent trying to get in a quickie after the kids go to sleep, you’ll want to pay attention to this one. If you’re wondering how to have shower sex, here are some tips and positions that will spice up your sex life.
Get a Grip
Shower sex isn’t going to work if you keep falling down, so before you start, make sure you have something to hold on to. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a shower with handrails, but in most cases, we do have walls, and should use those for support and balance.
Turn Up the Heat (Literally)
Unless you have some sort of fancy dual shower head setup, one person is going to be outside the falling warm water during shower sex. To prepare for this, crank up the heat in the bathroom. That way even if you’re the one not in the water, you’re still at least semi-comfortable.
Silicone-Based Lube Is Your Friend
While yes, you’re definitely wet (on the outside) during shower sex, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re wet on the inside, where it counts. Plus, as Dr. Megan Fleming, a New York City-based licensed sex therapist, tells Self, shower water itself isn’t an effective lubricant, because it dries too quickly. Instead, she recommends using a silicone-based lube, which has a thick consistency and tends to last longer than thinner, water-based lubes. (This is also a good tip to keep in mind for pool sex.) But water can wash silicone-based lube away, so make sure you’re reapplying as needed.
Shower Sex Positions
When it comes to shower sex positions, the simpler, the better. Now’s not the time to experiment with acrobatics or fancy tricks. Stick with what you know and are comfortable with. Some options include standing doggy style, slippery missionary, and everyone on their knees.
But Penetration Doesn’t Have to Happen
Listen, there are all kinds of sex, and penetration is only involved in a handful of them. So rather than worry about slipping in the shower in a penetrative position, it can be safer (and honestly, more fun) to stick with oral sex, mutual masturbation, or other types of sensual touching. Now’s the perfect time for a well-placed finger (and you know that it’s clean!).
A note on oral sex in the shower: Do yourself and your partner a favor and make sure they’re not in the line of fire, err, water flow here. Last thing you want is bae coughing and choking on streams and streams of water flowing off you and the shower head as they concentrate on giving you pleasure.
Finally, we couldn’t have an entire article about shower sex and not bring up masturbation. Regardless of your equipment, the shower is the perfect place for some intimate alone time. (After all, you’re already by yourself and naked.) Lube up a hand or finger and go to town. And don’t forget about all the amazing waterproof sex toys out there right now. And of course, there’s the ever-popular method using a detachable shower head and allowing the intense pressure of the water to hit you in all the right places.
“Okay, Ladies. But, How Do You Start?”
One of the trickiest parts of shower sex is the initiation. As previously mentioned, a shower is a great time for a little solo action and often our only time alone. We like sex. But we like alone time. You might be hesitant, then to just barge in on your partner while they’re soaping up. Instead, give the invite to your partner and let them know it’s safe for them to come to you. This can be as subtle as saying, “Wanna double-up in the shower so we have more time for breakfast?” You can also be more forthcoming by simply asking your partner if they want to join you for a late-night post-bedtime routine shower. “I’ll bring the soap. You bring the loofah/condom/lube!”
Another, possibly even sexier option? Take your cell into the bathroom, drop your towel, and send a picture of what your partner is missing while they lounge on the couch. Wait to hop into the water until they respond, though. Not all partners will get that it’s an invitation and not just a flirtation. You might have to follow-up with an actual invite.