Shower sex is one of those things that sound great in theory, but are a little tricky in practice (also see: car sex). Especially if you’re parenting young kids, or tweens, or teens, basically if you’re parenting at all and the threat of being walked in on is real. Then there are the physical limitations of having sex in the shower. First of all, it usually involves doing it while standing up, which comes with its own set of challenges. On top of that, everything is slippery and wet, and let’s face it: those rubber flowers you put on the bottom of the shower to help stop you from falling aren’t exactly setting the mood. Add in the fact that shower sex usually involves one person being outside the stream of warm water, shivering in the cold. Rude.
But there are also plenty of pros, like not having to clean anything up afterward, and knowing your partner is clean and smells good. If you’re a parent trying to get in a quickie after the kids go to sleep, you’ll want to pay attention to this one. If you’re wondering how to have shower sex, here are some tips and positions that will spice up your sex life.
Get a Grip
Shower sex isn’t going to work if you keep falling down, so before you start, make sure you have something to hold on to. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a shower with handrails, but in most cases, we do have walls and should use those for support and balance.
Turn Up the Heat (Literally)
Unless you have some sort of fancy dual shower head setup, one person is going to be outside the falling warm water during shower sex. To prepare for this, crank up the heat in the bathroom. That way even if you’re the one not in the water, you’re still at least semi-comfortable.
Silicone-Based Lube Is Your Friend
While yes, you’re definitely wet (on the outside) during shower sex, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re wet on the inside, where it counts. Plus, as Dr. Megan Fleming, a New York City-based licensed sex therapist, tells Self, shower water itself isn’t an effective lubricant, because it dries too quickly. Instead, she recommends using a silicone-based lube, which has a thick consistency and tends to last longer than thinner, water-based lubes. (This is also a good tip to keep in mind for pool sex.) But water can wash silicone-based lube away, so make sure you’re reapplying as needed.
Shower Sex Positions
When it comes to shower sex positions, the simpler, the better. Now’s not the time to experiment with acrobatics or fancy tricks. Stick with what you know and are comfortable with. Some options include standing doggy style, slippery missionary, and everyone on their knees.
But Penetration Doesn’t Have to Happen
Listen, there are all kinds of sex, and penetration is only involved in a handful of them. So rather than worry about slipping in the shower in a penetrative position, it can be safer (and honestly, more fun) to stick with oral sex, mutual masturbation, or other types of sensual touching. Now’s the perfect time for a well-placed finger (and you know that it’s clean!).
A note on oral sex in the shower: Do yourself and your partner a favor and make sure they’re not in the line of fire, err, water flow here. Last thing you want is bae coughing and choking on streams and streams of water flowing off you and the shower head as they concentrate on giving you pleasure. You know what’s not sexy — having a near-death experience in the shower together, (imagine what the parademics would say?).
Finally, we couldn’t have an entire article about shower sex and not bring up masturbation. Regardless of your equipment, the shower is the perfect place for some intimate alone time. (After all, you’re already by yourself and naked.) Lube up a hand or finger and go to town. And don’t forget about all the amazing waterproof sex toys out there right now. And of course, there’s the ever-popular method using a detachable showerhead and allowing the intense pressure of the water to hit you in all the right places.
“Okay, Ladies. But, How Do You Start?”
One of the trickiest parts of shower sex is the initiation. As previously mentioned, a shower is a great time for a little solo action, and often our only time alone. We like sex. But we like alone time. You might be hesitant, then to just barge in on your partner while they’re soaping up. Instead, give the invite to your partner and let them know it’s safe for them to come to you. This can be as subtle as saying, “Wanna double-up in the shower so we have more time for breakfast?” You can also be more forthcoming by simply asking your partner if they want to join you for a late-night post-bedtime routine shower. “I’ll bring the soap. You bring the loofah/condom/lube!”
Another, possibly even sexier option? Take your cell into the bathroom, drop your towel, and send a picture of what your partner is missing while they lounge on the couch. Wait to hop into the water until they respond, though. Not all partners will get that it’s an invitation and not just a flirtation. You might have to follow-up with an actual invite.
Benefits of Shower Sex
Aside from the obvious fun that comes with sex of any kind, shower sex has its own set of advantages:
- It’s, well, clean! Isn’t it nice not to have to worry about cleaning up a big mess after the fact? Which brings up another point…
- Messier sex is a go. On your period? No problem. If you tend to veto sex during that time of the month because you don’t want to deal with the aftermath of your flow, maybe it’s time to give shower sex a shot.
- It shakes things up. Variety is the spice of life, and there are definitely times you want to spice up your sex life. Shower sex is a pleasing way to mix things up.
- Incredibly intimate. Sex itself is a very intimate act but there is something about being under a warm stream of water, making out in a confined space that is just different than the bedroom. In the shower, sex is not always the goal and a couple tends to focus on all the amazing things around sex. It’s a great way to connect or reconnect.
- Heat helps…a lot. Heat relaxes your joints and soothes any muscle tension. It also increases blow flow which is great for sensitivity everywhere. The steam and warm water will help you to be super bendy, which is great for any new positions you two want to try.
Shower Sex Safety Rules
Shower sex can be a lot of fun, but it’s important to do it safely. Remember to walk — don’t run — out of the shower after a passionate round (or rounds) of loving-making and sensual playing. Everything is super slippery which, ya know, was fun in the moment. But as you and your partner leave the bathroom, be cautious and move slowly. It would be a real bummer if one of you slipped.
Also, don’t forget the lubricant. When you’re in the shower, the water washes away your natural moisture. If you and your boo are going to be doing penetration, bring some lube to the bathroom.
And, finally, don’t stay wet for too long. When you’re damp too long after a shower, it can create bacteria on your body and even cause a yeast infection. Once you’re out of the shower, dry off, especially if you want to do another round in the bedroom (shower sex is excellent foreplay).