112 Hilarious Basketball Jokes And Puns That Will Net A Ton Of Laughs

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 
basketball jokes
Inti St Clair/ Getty

You don’t have to shoot like Stephen Curry to love basketball. It’s one of those games that has built an entire culture behind it. Some of us may not know all the stats or the rules behind the game, but sinking a shot is always a good feeling. And so is hearing a good basketball joke.

If you’re more of a Harlem Globetrotter than a Michael Jordan, you’ll truly appreciate these super funny basketball jokes and puns. Fouls, traveling, dunks, March Madness, and jump shots are all fair game here. You’re not alone in your search for slam dunks in the joke department, either. According to the latest search data available to us, “basketball jokes” is searched for nearly 2,400 times per month. The ball is in your court, so enjoy! And if you’re in the mood for more sports jokes, we have the joke hook up for football, soccer, and so much more.

RELATED: These Funny Poems Are Guaranteed To Brighten Your Day

  1. Why’d the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the ref was blowing fouls.

  1. Why can’t basketball players go on vacation?

They aren’t allowed to travel.

  1. Why did the elephants stampede onto the basketball court?

They played for the Chargers.

  1. Where is a basketball player’s favorite place to eat?

Dunkin’ Donuts.

  1. What is the favorite sport of a bass fish?


  1. What is Santa’s favorite basketball team?

The New York Old St. Nicks.

  1. Why did Cinderella fail at basketball?

Because she ran away from the ball

  1. What do you do when you see an elephant with a basketball?

Get out of the way.

  1. Why don’t basketball players don’t like to leave their hometown?

They hate traveling so much.

  1. Toronto missed out on an opportunity to call their basketball team the Torontosaurus Rexes.
  2. Why is Cinderella so bad at basketball?

Her coach is a pumpkin.

  1. I hear that Mr. Worldwide often gets called out in basketball. He’s always trying to travel.
  2. What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?

Slam Drunk!

  1. What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops?


  1. My dad is really good at basketball.

He always told me, “I’ve been Duncan all my life.”

  1. I invited my flat-earther friend to play basketball.

He brought a frisbee with him.

  1. Why did the fish refuse to play basketball?

He was afraid of the net.

  1. Which fast-food chain would be a good basketball player?

Dunkin’ Donuts.

  1. What’s the difference between Basketball players and Soccer players?

Basketball players get actual injuries.

  1. If a jockey wears jockey shorts, and a basketball player wears basketball shorts, what kind of shorts does the President wear?


  1. Why hasn’t Europe ever won Olympic gold in basketball?

Because Europe isn’t a country.

  1. What do you call a shark that plays basketball?

A Sharq.

  1. Why does Jesus get nervous when playing basketball?

He’s afraid of getting crossed up.

  1. What do an angry bunny and a pro basketball player have in common?

Mad hops.

  1. They always asked me if I play basketball because I was tall.

They stopped asking me that when I asked them if they play mini-golf.RELATED: 24 Gym Jokes And Puns That Will Get You Pumped For The Treadmill


  1. The blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court…

The game would be canceled.

  1. What do you call a ninja who is good at basketball?

A Kobe Shinobi!

  1. What do you call a basketball player who smells really good?

Kevin Deodurant.

  1. I used to be addicted to basketball,

but I rebounded.

  1. How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.

  1. Why are basketball players messy eaters?

They’re always dribbling.

  1. What did the March say to all the madness?

“What’s all that bracket?”

  1. Why did Ron Artest leave the game early?

He wanted to beat the crowd.

  1. How do you know when it’s LeBron James’ Birthday?

Everyone gets to leave work 12 minutes early.

  1. Why are frogs so good at basketball?

Because they always make jump shots.

  1. What did the triangle offense say to the ball?

“You’re pointless.”

  1. What does a basketball player do when he loses his eyesight?

Become a referee.

  1. What do you call a fantasy show about basketball?


  1. What’s the difference between the Miami Heats and a dollar bill?

You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

  1. What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals?

The Detroit Pistons.

  1. Which are the best animals in basketball?

A score-pion.

  1. Why can’t you play basketball in the jungle?

Because there are too many cheetahs.

  1. Why is a referee like an angry chicken?

They both have foul mouths.

  1. Why is the basketball arena hot after the game?

Because all the fans have left.

  1. What do you call a basketball player that misses dunks?

Alley Whoops.

  1. Why couldn’t the baby make a basket?

Because he was always dribbling. RELATED: 15 Best Basketballs For Kids – Just Don’t Let Me Catch You Playing Ball In The Damn House

  1. How do you keep a Milwaukee Bucks player out of your yard?

Put up a basketball net.

  1. What does a basketball player say when he misses?


  1. What does a Miami Heat fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?

He turns off the PlayStation.

  1. Did you hear about the basketball team that doesn’t have a website?

They can’t string three “Ws” together.

  1. If Shaquille O’Neal was a shade of blue, he would be Shaquille O’Teal.
  2. What is the difference between a Suns’ fan and a baby?

The baby will stop whining after a while.

  1. How many New York Knicks players does it take to change a tire?

One, unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up.

  1. If a basketball team was chasing a baseball team, what time would it be?

Five after nine.

  1. Why doesn’t Albany have a professional basketball team?

Because then New York City would want one, too.

  1. What do you call a Knicks player with a championship ring?

A senior citizen.

  1. Why did the basketball player sit on the sideline and sketch pictures of chickens?

He was learning how to draw fowls.

  1. Why can’t you play basketball with pigs?

They hog the ball.

Lola Bunny dribbles around Bugs Bunny.

  1. What’s the difference between Kevin McHale and time?

Time passes.

  1. What do the stock market and Knicks season ticket holders have in common?

They both get negative returns.

  1. If a basketball player gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?

Missle toe!

  1. What do you call a pig who plays basketball?

A ball hog.

  1. What’s the difference between treasury bonds and OKC fans?

Treasury bonds eventually mature.

  1. What do you call an unbelievable story about a basketball player?

A tall tale.

  1. Who was the poet of basketball?


  1. What’s a pirate’s favorite basketball move?

Jump hook.

  1. They’re a team in transition.

They’re going from bad to worse.

  1. What’s the difference between a dog and a basketball player?

One drools, the other dribbles.

  1. Why is a scrambled egg like a losing basketball team?

Because they both have been beaten.

  1. In what sport is a basket filled but never gets full?


  1. What do basketball cheerleaders drink before they go to a basketball game?

Root beer!

  1. Why couldn’t the basketball player listen to his music?

Because he broke a record!

  1. Why do basketball players love cookies?

Because they can dunk them!

  1. Why didn’t the nose make the basketball team?

He didn’t get picked.

  1. What does a hunter do with a basketball?

He shoots it!

  1. If you rush a circumcision to watch the start of a basketball game , You are quickly taking the tip off not to miss the tip-off.
  2. How do basketball players stay cool during a game?

They stand near the fans.

  1. If you were a basketball, I’d never shoot.

Because I’d always miss you.

  1. What violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?

Ghoul tending.

  1. What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?

A basketball coach.

  1. Why was the basketball court wet?

Because people were dribbling on it!

  1. Why did people in the NBA think Michael Jordan was conceited?

Because he was always putting on Airs.

  1. I’ve got a great idea for an NBA-themed fast-food restaurant.

I call it Shake-Shaq.

  1. Did you hear about the referee that got fired from the NBA?

Supposedly he’s a whistleblower.

  1. God and Satan arranged a basketball game between Heaven and Hell.

“I know for a fact we are gonna win,” said God. “We have all the best players up here: Wilt Chamberlain, Moses Malone, Kobe Bryant, and so on.” “I wouldn’t count on that, God,” said Satan. “You see, down here, we have all the referees.”

  1. Just saw a fight between a basketball player and a YouTuber.

Don’t listen to the media. The basketball player will win in the courts.

  1. Basketball sued tennis for no reason.

Now they have to go to court.

  1. What is the urologist’s favorite part in basketball?

The dribbles.

  1. My tennis career has taught me I can be the best basketball player ever.

Nothing but net.

  1. Did you know Steven Spielberg and John Williams like to play basketball together?

He shoots, he scores.

  1. Did you hear about that bloody hilarious basketball team?

The Hemoglobetrotters?

  1. How did the guy with no hair do during his basketball game?

Oh, he bald.

  1. Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?

They dribble all the time.

  1. I couldn’t figure out why the basketball kept getting larger and larger.

Then it hit me.

  1. The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season.

Apparently they never take any shots.

  1. What did the devil worshiping basketball player say?

“Baal is life.”

  1. Why can’t dinosaurs play basketball?

Because they are dead.

  1. Basketball players are the most upstanding members of society.

They really are people to look up to.

  1. Been watching basketball lately, and I gotta say I can hardly tolerate Kevin Durant.

He stinks compared to his brother, Deo.

  1. Why did the basketball team join a craft club?

Because they wanted to learn how to make baskets!

  1. I was going to pass it to you…

But the hoop was open first.

  1. What’s the difference between the New York Knicks and a dollar bill?

You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

  1. What’s the difference between a Sun’s fan and a baby?

The baby will stop whining after a while.

  1. What do basketball players do when they can no longer see?

They become referees.

  1. What do Bulls fans do after Chicago wins the championship?

Rewind the VHS tape.

  1. What do you call a shrimp that’s really good at basketball?

Leprawn James.

  1. Why can’t basketball players go on vacation?

They aren’t allowed to travel.

  1. Basketball players are afraid of themselves.

They don’t like great heights.

  1. A brawl took place in a basketball game. A judge came in and used his gavel to stop it.

He brought order in the court.

  1. Did you hear about that new sci-fi basketball show?

It’s called Hooper Natural.

  1. I couldn’t figure out why the basketball kept getting bigger and bigger.

Then it hit me.

  1. Why don’t fish like basketball?

They’re afraid of the nets.

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