100+ Funny Basketball Jokes, Puns, And One Liners That Are A Slam Dunk

100+ Hilarious Basketball Jokes And Puns That Will Net A Ton Of Laughs

December 18, 2019 Updated January 13, 2021

basketball jokes
Inti St Clair/ Getty

You don’t have to shoot like Stephen Curry to love basketball. It’s one of those games that has built an entire culture behind it. Some of us may not know all the stats or the rules behind the game, but sinking a shot is always a good feeling. And so is hearing a good basketball joke.

If you’re more of a Harlem Globetrotter than a Michael Jordan, you’ll truly appreciate these super funny basketball jokes and puns. Fouls, traveling, dunks, March Madness, and jump shots are all fair game here. You’re not alone in your search for slam dunks in the joke department, either. According to the latest search data available to us, “basketball jokes” is searched for nearly 2,400 times per month. The ball is in your court, so enjoy! And if you’re in the mood for more sports jokes, we have the joke hook up for football, soccer, baseball, and so much more.

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  1. Why’d the chicken cross the basketball court?
    He heard the ref was blowing fouls.
  2. Why can’t basketball players go on vacation?
    They aren’t allowed to travel.
  3. Why did the elephants stampede onto the basketball court?
    They played for the Chargers.
  4. Where is a basketball player’s favorite place to eat?
    Dunkin’ Donuts.
  5. What is the favorite sport of a bass fish?
    Bass-get-ball.
  6. What is Santa’s favorite basketball team?
    The New York Old St. Nicks.
  7. Why did Cinderella fail at basketball?
    Because she ran away from the ball
  8. What do you do when you see an elephant with a basketball?
    Get out of the way.
  9. Why don’t basketball players don’t like to leave their home town?
    They hate traveling so much.
  10. Toronto missed out on an opportunity to call their basketball team the Torontosaurus Rexes.
  11. Why is Cinderella so bad at basketball?
    Her coach is a pumpkin.
  12. I hear that Mr. Worldwide often gets called out in basketball. He’s always trying to travel.
  13. What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
    Slam Drunk!
  14. When flat-earth people play basketball they must be like…
    “Yo pass me the frisbee bro!”
  15. Why can’t dinosaurs play basketball?
    Because they are extinct.
  16. What did the cheese say when he scored in basketball?
    Swiiisssssss.
  17. Why did the fish refuse to play basketball?
    He was afraid of the net.
  18. Which fast-food chain would be a good basketball player?
    Dunkin’ Donuts.
  19. What’s the difference between Basketball players and Soccer players?
    Basketball players get actual injuries.
  20. If a jockey wears jockey shorts, and a basketball player wears basketball shorts, what kind of shorts does the President wear?
    Depends.
  21. Why hasn’t Europe ever won Olympic gold in basketball?
    Because Europe isn’t a country.
  22. What do you call a shark that plays basketball?
    A Sharq.
  23. Why does Jesus get nervous when playing basketball?
    He’s afraid of getting crossed up.
  24. What do an angry bunny and a pro basketball player have in common?
    Mad hops.
  25. They always asked me if I play basketball because I was tall. They stopped asking me that when I asked them if they play mini-golf.
    Related: 24 Gym Jokes And Puns That Will Get You Pumped For The Treadmill

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  26. The blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court…
    The game would be canceled.
  27. Yao Ming is starting his own basketball team. It’s called Crazy Reach Asians.
  28. What do you call a ninja who is good at basketball?
    A Kobe Shinobi!
  29. Why was the basketball court wet?
    Because all the players kept dribbling on it.
  30. What do you call a basketball player who smells really good?
    Kevin Deodurant.
  31. I used to be addicted to basketball…
    but I rebounded.
  32. How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?
    Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.
  33. Why are basketball players messy eaters?
    They’re always dribbling.
  34. What did the March say to all the madness?
    What’s all that bracket?
  35. Why did Ron Artest leave the game early?
    He wanted to beat the crowd.
  36. How do you know when it’s Lebron James’ Birthday?
    Everyone gets to leave work 12 minutes early.
  37. Why are frogs so good at basketball?
    Because they always make jump shots.
  38. What did the triangle offense say to the ball?
    You’re pointless.
  39. What does a basketball player do when he loses his eyesight?
    Become a referee.
  40. What do you call a fantasy show about basketball?
    Hooper-natural.
  41. How do you know you’ve found Lebron James’ cell phone?
    It vibrates and receives calls, but doesn’t have a ring!
  42. What’s the difference between the Miami Heat and a dollar bill?
    You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  43. What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals?
    The Detroit Pistons.
  44. Which are the best animals at basketball?
    A score-pion.
  45. Why can’t you play basketball in the jungle?
    Because there are too many cheetahs.
  46. Why is a referee like an angry chicken?
    They both have foul mouths.
  47. Why is the basketball arena hot after the game?
    Because all the fans have left.
  48. What do you call a basketball player that misses dunks?
    Alley Whoops.
  49. Why couldn’t the baby make a basket?
    Because he was always dribbling.
    RELATED: 15 Best Basketballs For Kids – Just Don’t Let Me Catch You Playing Ball In The Damn House
  50. How do you keep a Milwaukee Bucks player out of your yard?
    Put up a basketball net.
  51. What does a basketball player say when he misses?
    Shoot.
  52. What does a Miami Heat fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
    He turns off the PlayStation.
  53. Did you hear about the basketball team that doesn’t have a website?
    They can’t string three “Ws” together.
  54. If Shaquille O’Neal was a shade of blue he would be Shaquille O’Teal.
  55. What is the difference between a Suns’ fan and a baby?
    The baby will stop whining after awhile.
  56. How many New York Knicks players does it take to change a tire?
    One, unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up.
  57. If a basketball team was chasing a baseball team, what time would it be?
    Five after nine.
  58. Why doesn’t Albany have a professional basketball team?
    Because then New York City would want one too.
  59. What do you call a Knicks player with a championship ring?
    A senior citizen.
  60. Why did the basketball player sit on the sideline and sketch pictures of chickens?
    He was learning how to draw fowls.
  61. Why can’t you play basketball with pigs?
    They hog the ball.

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  62. What’s the difference between Kevin McHale and time?
    Time passes.
  63. What do the stock market and Knicks season ticket holders have in common?
    They both get negative returns.
  64. If a basketball player gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?
    Missle toe!
  65. What do you call a pig who plays basketball?
    A ball hog
  66. What’s the difference between treasury bonds and OKC fans?
    Treasury bonds eventually mature.
  67. What do you call an unbelievable story about a basketball player?
    A tall tale.
  68. Who was the poet of basketball?
    Longfellow.
  69. Why do basketball players love cookies?
    Because they can dunk them!
  70. What’s a pirate’s favorite basketball move?
    Jump hook.
  71. They’re a team in transition… They’re going from bad to worse.
  72. What’s the difference between a dog and a basketball player?
    One drools, the other dribbles.
  73. Why is a scrambled egg like a losing basketball team?
    Because they both have been beaten.
  74. In what sport is a basket filled but never gets full?
    Basketball.
  75. What do basketball cheerleaders drink before they go to a basketball game?
    Root beer!
  76. Why couldn’t the basketball player listen to his music?
    Because he broke a record!
  77. How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
    They stand near the fans.
  78. Why do basketball players love cookies?
    Because they can dunk them!
  79. Why didn’t the nose make the basketball team?
    He didn’t get picked.
  80. What does a hunter do with a basketball?
    Answer: He shoots it!
  81. If you rush a circumcision to be able to watch the start of a basketball game
    You are quickly taking the tip off not to miss the tip-off.
  82. How do basketball players stay cool during a game? They stand near the fans.
  83. If you were a basketball, I’d never shoot. Because I’d always miss you.
  84. What violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
    Ghoul tending.
  85. What happens to basketball players who go blind?
    They become referees.
  86. What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?
    A basketball coach.
  87. Why was the basketball court wet? Because people were dribbling on it!
  88. Why did people in the NBA think Michael Jordan was conceited?
    Because he was always putting on Airs.
  89. I’ve got a great idea for an NBA-themed Fast Food restaurant. I call it…
    Shake-Shaq.
  90. Did you hear about the referee that got fired from the NBA?
    Supposedly he’s a whistleblower.
  91. What’s the difference between being in prison and playing on a basketball team?
    On a basketball team, your guards won’t leave you hanging.
  92. God and Satan arranged a basketball game between Heaven and Hell.
    “I know for a fact we are gonna win,” said God. “We have all the best players up here… Wilt Chamberlain, Moses Malone, Kobe Bryant, and so on.”
    “I wouldn’t count on that, God,” said Satan. “You see, down here, *we* have all the referees.”
  93. Just saw a fight between a basketball player and a YouTuber…
    Don’t listen to the media. The basketball player will win in the courts.
  94. Basketball sued Tennis for no reason
    Now they have to go to court.
  95. What is the urologist’s favorite part in basketball?
    The dribbles.
  96. My tennis career has taught me that I can be the best basketball player ever
    Nothing but net.
  97. Did you know Steven Spielberg and John Williams like to play basketball together?
    He shoots, he scores.
  98. Did you hear about that bloody hilarious basketball team?
    The Hemoglobetrotters?…
  99. How did the guy with no hair do during his basketball game?
    Oh, he bald.
  100. Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
    They dribble all the time.
  101. I couldn’t figure out why the basketball kept getting larger and larger
  102. Then it hit me.