Did You Hear The One About The Caped Crusader? 45+ Hilarious Batman Jokes And Puns

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Looking for a little fun? If you have a superhero-loving kid in your midst, they’ll love these Batman jokes and puns. We already know all the good Batman quotes. And they might even know some Supergirl quotes. But, what do you do when you don’t feel like being inspired and just need a laugh? You turn to jokes, of course. We left out (most of the) off-color jokes and skipped over anything that would make the female DC characters blush. These jokes are kid-friendly through-and-through. Good guys would approve, even if Batman does throw a mean ninja star.

Want even more laughs? We have a whole suite of jokes. From farm jokes to dinosaur jokes, we cover everything your child could possibly be interested in. And if they love a certain other orphaned vigilante? We have Harry Potter jokes, too!

Warner Bros.

  1. What’s Batman’s favorite part of a joke? The punchline.
  2. Have you heard of Batman’s brother, High-Hatman? He’s a cymbal of justice.
  3. Batman doesn’t make New Year’s Resolutions. He enforces them.
  4. Why does Batman wear a mask? Because the citizens of Gotham aren’t morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis.
  5. What did the loaf of bread say to Batman? “Rye so serious?”
  6. What’s the difference between Batman and a criminal? Batman can go into a store without Robin.
  7. What do you call an injured Batman? Bruised Wayne.
  8. Batman walks into a bar… and is kicked out because his mask doesn’t cover his mouth!
  9. What does Batgirl wear to the superhero ball? Her Dark Knight gown.
  10. What did Batman do when he went shopping? Got ham.
  11. Why does Batman suck at card games? He always gets The Joker.
  12. How does Batman like his coffee? Black as night.
  13. Does Netflix have Batman Forever? Nah. Just until the end of the year.
  14. What’s Batman’s favorite fruit? Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.
  15. What is it called when Bruce Wayne forgets to pay the electric bill? A dark night.
  16. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile, Robin.
  17. What does Batman put in his whiskey? Just ice.
  18. Why doesn’t Batman like Mr. Freeze? He always gives him the cold shoulder.
  19. What’s Batman’s favorite kind of Chinese food? Kung Pow chicken.
  20. Why did all the pictures come out dark from Batman’s party? He forgot to invite the Flash.
  21. Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied? Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.
  22. What’s Batman’s favorite drink? Vigilan-tea.
  23. Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar. Followed by Batman.
  24. How many caped crusaders does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They like it dark.
  25. What is Bruce Wayne’s favorite baseball position? Bat boy.
  26. What did Bruce Wayne’s mom put over his crib? A bat mobile.
  27. You might think Batman was born in Gotham, but he was actually born in South Africa. Capetown, to be exact.
  28. My friend said I’m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to Batman. What a joker.
  29. How does Batboy become Batman? He has a Bat-Mitzvah.
  30. Why can’t Batman go fishing? Robin always eats the worms.
  31. Why can’t Batman play chess using the white pieces? He always has to be the Dark Knight.
  32. What do you get when you combine Robin with a Vita-Mix? Robin the Boy Blender.
  33. Why did Mrs. Batman name their son Gotham? Because Batman always answers to “Gotham needs you.”
  34. Where does Batman go when he wants to pee? The batroom.
  35. What do you get when you cross Batman with a Christmas tree? Spruce Wayne.
  36. What do you get for a Batman who has everything? Bat friends.
  37. Why can’t Bruce Wayne get a second date? He has bat breath.
  38. What do you get when you roll over Batman and Robin? Flat man and ribbon.
  39. Why does Batman hate camping? Poison Ivy.
  40. Where do Batman’s fish live? In the bat tub.
  41. Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn’t want to get shot.
  42. Why does Robin only wear bright colors? Easy. Batman doesn’t want to get shot.
  43. Batman walked into a bar, but got kicked out cause his mask didn’t cover his mouth.
  44. How come Batman shampoo exists, but not conditioner Gordon?
  45. Why did Alfred open his umbrella at Batman’s family reunion? Because it was a Wayne-y day.
  46. How does Batman take care of Poison Ivy? Ointment.
  47. Why is Batman so good at hitting home runs? He has a batting cage.
  48. Batman: “Alfred, why is the batremote for the batTV is not working?”

Alfred: “Have you changed the batteries, sir?” Batman: “What are eries?”

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