Farming is hard, y’all. But, it’s also rewarding. Whether you’ve just pulled a struggling calf from his mama or you’re eating the literal fruits of your labor. At the end of the day, you typically have something to show for the work you’ve put in. And while that work is certainly dirty and back breaking, that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. Pigs are smart, lazy, and hilarious. Cows are often sweet and wonderful. Both animals, if you spend enough time around them, do truly hilarious things that’ll make you laugh. But, when that silliness fails? Sometimes you just need a good joke.
And luckily we’ve gathered plenty of jokes for kids and adults alike. From jokes about spooky ghosts and their favorite season (Autumn), to the vast amount of jokes about our favorite holiday (Christmas), there’s literally a joke for any occasion. Shoot. There’s even a giant chunk of jokes dedicated to bananas. You know another topic that seems to warrant its fair share of jokes? That’s right. Farming, farmers and farm life offers quite the breadth of subject matter one can giggle over. These jokes, puns, and riddles are exactly what you need after a day on the farm. (Whether you’re growing those pumpkins or just picking them.)
- Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose!
- What is a farmer’s favorite Bruce Springsteen song?
Born in the USDA.
- As farmers, we hear a lot of jokes about sheep.
We’d tell them to the dog, but he’d herd them all!
- What did the farmer say when his fat pig wouldn’t fit into the pen?
“There’s more there than meets the sty.”
- Why did the pig take a bath?
The farmer said, “Hogwash”!
- What’s black and white and eats like a horse?
- Why were the baby strawberries crying?
Their ma and pa were in a jam.
- What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer?
“You take me for grunted.”
- Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!
- What farm animal keeps the best time?
A watch dog.
- How did the organic vegetable die?
- What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It’s pasture bedtime!
- Where does a farmer get his medicine from?
- What do you get when you cross a farmer and some trendy headphones?
Beets by Dre.
- What kind of pigs know karate?
- What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows?
- What type of horses only go out at night?
- Why are farmers cruel?
Because they pull corn by the ears.
- Did you hear about the wooden tractor?
It had wooden wheels, a wooden engine, wooden transmission and wooden work!
- What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
- What did the farmer say when he lost one of his cows?
What a miss-steak.
- How did the farmer find his lost cow?
He tractor down.
- Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field.
- Why do cows like being told jokes?
Because they like being amoosed.
- Have you heard of the garlic diet?
You don’t lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look great.
- Why did the farmer call his pig “Ink”?
Because it was always running out of the pen.
- What is a happy farmer’s favorite candy?
A Jolly Rancher.
- What do you call a cow with no calf?
- What do you call a horse that lives next door?
- What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
- What is a sheep’s favorite game?
- Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
Because he was out standing in his field!
- What do you get when you cross a robot and a tractor?
- Farmer John is so interested in conserving energy, he built a pig-powered car.
He has to get rid of it, though.
Every time he turns a corner, the tires squeal.
- No farm building should ever, under any circumstances, be used as a convent…
- If a cow laughed really hard…
would milk come out of her nose?
- Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.
- Why did the cow jump over the moon?
The farmer had cold hands.
- What do farmers use to make crop circles?
- Grain farmers have a tough life.
They barley survive from wheat to wheat.
- What do you call a sleeping bull?
- Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?
He has got no beef.
- What is a horse’s favorite sport?
- What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
- I tried to navigate the farmer’s field…
But it was a maize.
- What new crop did the farmer plant?
- What do you call a cow with no legs?
- What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
- What day do potatoes hate the most?
- Farmers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, turn-ip the covers, en-dive into bed!
- Where do farmers send their kids to grow?
- Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar?
He wanted sweet and sour pork.
- Why did the pig dump her boyfriend?
Because he was a real BOAR.
- Who tells chicken jokes?
- What did the farmer get when he crossed an owl with a goat?
- What happened when the farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
He got a hot-diggity-dog!
- Why did the cabbage win the race?
Because it was ahead!
- Being a farmer isn’t for everyone.
But hay, it’s in my jeans.