25 Funny Boob Jokes That Will Give Yours A Lift – Scary Mommy

25 Hilarious Boob Jokes That Will Really Give You A Lift

November 5, 2019 Updated June 4, 2020

boob jokes
Annie Spratt/Unsplash

Welcome to your younger self. We say this because you can go ahead and check your maturity level at the door. We’re about to take you back, wayyyy back to when we all loved ridiculous jokes. And the queen of all stupid jokes: boob quips. Who doesn’t love a good boob joke? I mean, no two are alike! And while the dick jokes and poop jokes are kings of the dirty jokes world, we should still pay our respect to the queen.

With that in mind, we put together the absolute best and funniest list of jokes about breasts. Tits up and enjoy.

1) What type of bees make milk?

Boobies!

2) Why were the saggy boobs angry?

Because they never get any support.

3) What do you call the space between two enlarged breasts?

Silicon valley.

4) What did the bra say to the hat?

Go on a head. I’ll give these two a lift.

5) What do you call two identical pair of breasts?

Identitties.

boob jokes, breast jokes
Warner Bros. Television/ NBC

6) Why doesn’t the nun wear a bra?

Because God supports everything.

7) What does a push up bra and a bag of chips have in common?

When you open them, they’re both half empty.

8) What does an 80-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 20-year-old doesn’t?

Her bellybutton.

9) Where do bras get lunch?

At a breastaurant.

10) Why do women have nipples?

To make suckers out of men.

Related: 19 Dirty Jokes To Tell Your Friends That You Can’t Help But Laugh At

11) What did the boob tell the other boob?

You’re my breast friend.

12) What’s the boob’s favorite snack?

Chestnuts.

13)  Why do virgins love KFC?

It’s the only place where they can touch breasts.

14) What happened to the man who slipped on a bra?

He fell into a booby trap!

15) What do boobs and friends have in common?

Some are big, some are small, some are real, and some are fake.

boob jokes, breast jokes
Giphy

16) The existence of boobs does prove one thing:

That guys can focus on two things at once.

17) You don’t need to pay for a bra to get boob support.

There’s plenty of people out there who would volunteer to hold your boobs for free.

18) Straight men: they go from drinking from boobs, to obsessing about boobs, to having boobs in one life time.

19) Why is paying for a boob-job a lot like buying soda?

Nobody wants either to end up flat.

20)  What’s the boob’s favorite sport discipline?

The breaststroke.

21) How do boobs work out?

With a training bra.

22) I love you with all my boobs.

They’re just much bigger than my heart.

23) Yay book jokes! Hooray! And here’s to nipples too, without them boobs would be pointless.

24) What is the origin of the word “Boob”?

The “B” is the aerial view, the “oo” is the front view, the “b” is the side view. – Jokes4Us

25) What do trains sets and boobs have in common?

They’re both meant for children but grown ups love them.