40+ Biology Jokes And Puns That Are Totally Cell-arious

OK, Fellow Nerds! These Biology Jokes And Puns Are Just For You

December 14, 2020 Updated April 14, 2021

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Let us guess why you’re here: Your kids hate science and you’re trying to make it fun, right? We can’t make chemistry any easier. Sorry. We can, however, help you lighten the mood when your kiddo is stressed before a big biology test. How? Biology jokes, of course!

No matter what culture you’re part of or country you’re in, it seems everyone has silly puns to share. The world is a vast and hilarious place. Well, for the most part. Some days are admittedly easier to find humor in than others. Still, there’s just so much to joke about — even the hard stuff. No matter your profession, from biologist (hi!) to cow farmer to football player, there are things to laugh about. Like, don’t even get us started on all of the goofy-looking animals out there. Giraffes are just absurd looking. And camels? What even? We’re getting the giggles just thinking about these fantastical creatures.

Suffice it to say that when the world feels crazy or awful or overwhelming, you can always find a laugh when you need one. Humans are hard-wired on a cellular level to look for the lighter side of things. And hey, that makes the following biology jokes a good place to start.

Biology Jokes And Puns
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Best Biology Jokes And Puns

  1. What did the male stamen say to the female pistil?
    “I like your ‘style.'”
  2. What do you call a cab that provides drug therapy?
    Chemotaxis.
  3. What did Cinderella say while reading a biology textbook?
    “I hate mitosis.”
  4. Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled to 30 different countries and learned to speak six languages?
    He was a man of many cultures.
  5. How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature?
    Romeostasis.
  6. Y’all want to hear a potassium joke?
    K.
  7. I made a DNA joke in my biology class but no one laughed…
    Guess my thymine was off.
  8. What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
    One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
  9. What did the femur say to the patella?
    “I kneed you.”
  10. I wish I was adenine…
    Then I could get paired with U.
  11. A fellow accidentally ingested some alpha-L-glucose and discovered that he had no ill effect…
    Apparently, he was ambidextrose.
  12. How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon?
    He caught the garter snake.
  13. What did the biologist wear on his first date with the pretty girl?
    Designer genes.
  14. Why can’t a plant be on the dark side of the Force?
    Because it can’t make food without the light!
  15. Teacher: “What is the definition of a protein?”
    Student: “A protein is something that is made up of mean old acids.”
  16. If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
    H2O cubed.
  17. Did you just mutate for a stop codon?
    Because you’re talking nonsense!
  18. What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped on his toe?
    “Mitosis!”
  19. Why was the scuba diver failing biology?
    Because he was below “C” level.
  20. How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam?
    As an itsy bitsy book.
  21. How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?
    Four. One to change it, and three to write the environmental-impact statement.
  22. A male frog calls the psychic hotline and is told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”
    The frog is thrilled. “This is great,” he says. “Will I meet her in a bar?”
    “No,” says the psychic. “In her biology class.”
  23. What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
    The nucleus.
  24. A couple of biologists had twins
    They named one Jessica and the other Control.
  25. What did the conservative biologist say?
    “The only cleavage I want to see is at the cellular level.”
  26. What did the endoplasmic reticulum say to the Golgi?
    “I like your body,” it said.
    Golgi replied, “It’s complex.”
  27. What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics?
    “Woopea!”
  28. What did the avid recyclers name their triplets?
    Polly, Ethel, and Ian.
  29. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
    A fsh.
  30. What is blood’s message to the world?
    B positive.
  31. What would you call the scientific study of real estate?
    Homology.
  32. Why was the scuba diver disappointed in his biology grade?
    Because his score was below sea level.
  33. Why are all the viruses gone?
    They flu away.
  34. Where do hippos go to university?
    Hippocampus.
  35. Why are men sexier than women?
    You can’t spell sexy without xy.
  36. What do football players wear on their heads?
    Helminth.
  37. What’s the tiniest virus in the world?
    Smallpox.
  38. Today in biology class we were dissecting an eye.
    I kept thinking of jokes but they were getting cornea and cornea.
  39. We just hired a new molecular biologist.
    Wow, isn’t she small?
  40. One flower looks at the other and says, “You hungry?”
    The second flower responded, “I could use a light snack.”
  41. Biology professor: “Hello, class. Today we will be learning about the liver and the pancreas.”
    Biology student: “Ugh, I hate organ recitals.”